Death in the family...

Hi my fellow Junebugs~ I almost didn't post this, but so many of you have teenagers, that I had to share it. Last week, my cousin's 18 year old son (my second cousin), committed suicide. He shot himself. The stories aren't completely clear, but I know that he had been using Sudafed/Benadryl to get a "high". He didn't use any hard core drugs, but had dabbled in this. He was a lifeguard, and highly liked by his friends. I went to the memorial service on Monday~ it was absolutely heartbreaking!! It has torn apart the family, everyone pointing fingers at each other. All of us are devastated by it. I guess on the eve of Thanksgiving, I just wanted to share this so that you can hug your kids a little tighter, be a little more interested in their daily activities, and be so very grateful for their lives. Stay connected to what's really going on with them. I heard a statistic the the rate of teenage suicide is at 20%! That's 1 in 5!!!! I just couldn't believe it. I am very, very thankful for the life that God has given me. I don't intend to waste any of it on regrets, or anything that isn't healthy~ food, behaviors, attitudes~ any of it. May you all have a blessed and safe Thanksgiving! ~Kerri

I am so sorry to hear that Kerri. My love and prayers go out to your family. I think suicide is the hardest way to lose someone you care about. I hope you all can find healing with time and God's help. Wendy

Thanks for your kind words, Wendy. It was very tough, and I imagine it will continue to be traumatic for his family forever. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Blessings, Kerri

Hi Kerri. I'm so sorry for your loss. Suicide is the worst. I will keep you and your cousin in my thoughts and prayers. I, too am very grateful for the life that God has given me. I am grateful for each day that I am alive and kicking! Hope you and your family have a blessed and safe Thanksgiving. Love ya! Lucy

Hi Lucy~ Thanks...it's been pretty tough. Especially the memorial service. Hope all is well with you and that you had a great Thanksgiving. Blessings, Kerri

Kerri, I'm so saddened to hear about what happened to your second cousin. Suicide is so difficult on everyone who loves that person. When i was in high school, one of my girlfriends commited suicide at the age of 16. She had just gotten into an arguement with her parents. They told her to do the dishes - and she didn't want to. Her parents told her that if she didn't do the dishes, they wouldn't give her a ride to karate. My friend ran away (really she was still on her family's property, hiding in a duck blind). They found her the next morning, having shot herself in the head with one of her father's guns. It was very tragic. She was so popular and involved in sports and other activities. Seemed like she had everything going for her and she had it all. It was over in an instant. And over what? No one ever saw that coming. Practically the entire town went to her prayers. Open casket. I remember kneeling beside her casket and being completely shocked by seeing the repaired hole in her temple. I just kept looking at her face, staring at her chest, waiting for just one sign that she was still in there - but she wasn't. What she did was forever. It made a very lasting impression on me. Just a couple of years later, another friend of mine commited suicide. He was only 20 years old. A couple of days before, he and i were talking in the break room at work. He brought his boom box in and played a song for me - he asked me if I liked it. I told him it was beautiful. He said "I'm going to play this song for Dianna and then ask her to marry me. I'm gonna get her a ring with my next paycheck." He was so happy and in love. Just a few days later, he found out that she was having an affair with our boss. He was so crushed. He drank a quart of motor oil and died a slow and very painful death. It was horrifying. He was such a sweet boy. I know that because I loved both of these people, I often wondered if there was a sign i should have picked up on. Did I miss a cue? Should I have known and somehow been able to prevent it from happening? I'll never know. I do know, no matter how unreasonable, I felt a certain measure of guilt. In both of these instances, everyone who loved them felt guilty. For some, it was so overwhelming and hard to accept that they wanted to place blame anywhere but on themselves - to find a way to relieve themselves of the guilt. They didn't realize what they were doing. They were just all struggling with the pain. In the end, pointing fingers didn't amount to anything. Their loved one made a decision and didn't include anyone else in the decision making. What was done was done. I, too, am very thankful for the life God has given me. I have five children - four of which are teens. I pray for them every single day and I am so thankful for every second that they are safe - especially after any struggles. I sincerly hope your family is able to find peace and healing. I will be praying for them all. You included. Lots of love and hugs, Pam

Thanks so much, Pam. I'm so sorry that you've had to be exposed to so much of this! Wow! I'm glad that they had his body cremated. We didn't have to deal with the funeral itself, just the memorial service. It was so incredibly sad. Lots of teens there...and a waaaay to long DVD~ 7 songs, 3 of which were just candlelight vigil pics. It was so incredibly depressing. My heart just breaks for my cousin and his entire family. Hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving! I appreciate the thoughts and prayers. Love ya, Kerri

((((((((((Kerri))))))))))) This is so timely since I just went competely off on my son earlier. He's a good boy, but I lost my temper. I'm going right now to make sure he understands that. Sharyn

Thanks for hugs, Sharyn. I's sure your son knows how much you love him! I think this ran sooooo much deeper than a couple of angry words. But, letting your child know how much you care is always a good idea. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Blessings, Kerri

Hi Keri! I haven't had acess to a computer for awhile so am just now catching up on all the news. So sorry to hear about your cousins son. Thanks for putting into perspective how precious life is. I was kind of dreading my litlle grandsons coming down the stairs too early this morning but now am anxiously awaiting their arrival!! God be with you and your family through this difficult time, With love, Diane