Wow moment!

I was at work last night and because we can wear dress clothes instead of scrubs one night a week, I wore an above knee skirt with tights and a sweater to work. My husband told me I was "dazzling." and believe it or not--- I got whistled at! Me at 37 years old! LOL! I was also told twice that I was a sexy long legged blond!! I have never been told I was sexy by anyone other than my husband before! On a more serious note, I have been dealing with my issues and have been doing good with the eating disorder thing. I haven't been eating the right stuff, but I am not purging either! Of course this means my weight is at a stand still right now, but I am ok with that. I will eventually get to Onederland, I am very close now. My appeal has reached the insurance company also and I should hear in 30 days about my tt surgery. Hopefully they will cover it. Wendy

Congrats to the sexy long legged blonde! I have never heard that and suspect I never will! At least not in this life time!! LOL!! I carry all my weight in my lower half esp. the legs!!! Glad to hear your eating is going better. Good luck with the appeal too. I have my fingers crossed for you. I am doing ok! It is a constant daily struggle to eat right things in right ammounts, drink right things in right ammounts, take my supplements, walk!!! Somedays are better than others. I don't think I have had a perfect day yet. I still haven't weighed myself in months. I have a terrible fear of it! Silly huh? Overall, I feel great though and life has changed for the better for sure! I am nervous to go on an interview for a job I really want on Monday. I have been at my present job for 7 years. I am stagnant and not challanged but comfortable! Change is good but scary to me at times. Hang in there Wendy. ALways nice to read your posts! Diane

Hi Diane! Yes it is hard to get the right amounts of everything and leave the goodies alone. I can't seem to balance things right now either. But I chose to concentrate on getting healthy and over this ulcer/ eating disorder problem as opposed to continuing to lose weight. Everyone I know keeps telling me I look normal now and don't really need to lose much more for my height. I will lose some with the tt and so I will get to onederland one way or the other. Good luck on the job thing and thanks for the support. Wendy

Congratulations on your wow moment. I love it when that happens to me. In fact We had a Military Formal a few weeks ago and Mike's fellow soldiers who knew me prior surgery was telling me how beautiful I was. In fact when Mike was in Iraq one of them said he better watch it or he will take me from him. I was saying like Hell but I digress. Good luck with everything. If you need to talk I am here for you. Michelle

Thank you Michelle, I saw your picture and you are definitely a hottie now! You have done great. Wendy

Woo Hoo Wendy! Congrats on being a sexy long legged blond!! I'll never hear a compliment like that, as I am vertically challenged. I'm so glad to hear you are doing better with the eating disorder. I was really worried for a while there. I don't have to tell you the damage that type of thing causes to your throat or teeth - you are educated on this already I'm sure... You have been such a wonderful constant friend on here and I just wish i could reach out and give you a great big (((((hug)))))! I'm really crossing my fingers and sending up some prayers for the insurance to come through for you! That tt will do wonders for your self-esteem! I can even tell you how much having my arms fixed helped me mentally. It was worth every single penny...and the change it has made in my self-esteem has given me the strength to leave my comfort zone in the job I'm in and move on to a higher paying job. Another reason it was worth every cent! I'm really rooting for you!! Hugs, Pam

Thank you Pam for the support. You are so right about the physical problems with bulemia. That is one reason I am trying so hard to get over it. Also, the guilt of it is really bad because my sister was bulemic and I RODE her ass over it years ago and now here I am repeating behavior I know is unacceptable. I have done well with it lately though and I am also working on a spending habit that I have had a problem with for years! I am having to learn to budget now and that is hard for me as I have always just spent what I wanted. It is a learning experience for me all the way around. I wondered how you felt long term about the plastics. I want to later have my arms boobs and inner thighs done, but I was worried about the scarring etc. But I guess either way I am scarred with all this hanging skin anyway. I am lucky that I can hide it under clothes so easily! You too have been a good friend to me Pam and I have been lucky to have met you guys and had this board to lean on. I only post here and very rarely on my Michigan site. You guys are the best! Wendy

Girl, I feel you on the spending habit. I have an addictive or obsessive personality. Since food hasn't been my "fix" - spending has replaced it. I didn't even see it happen. I worked myself into a system of shopping non-stop. EVERY other Friday off from work - shopping....EVERY single Saturday & Sunday - SHOPPING... Mon - Fri nights EBAY! It didn't hit me what I was doing until this month when I had to pay my mortgage payment late AND I got a pink notice from the electric company with a cut off date.... me with NO money left to pay it.... and no groceries in the house to boot. Had to borrow money from my in-laws. How humiliating. All my fault. I did this to us. I've been thinking about it all week. What I SHOULD do with my improved new income is become an addict at saving money and paying extra on my mortgage. Can I do it? I don't know. Do you think I can become addicted to saving???? I wonder if I can... like if I research it all the time and get obsessive about balancing the checkbook and making and sticking to a budget... meal plans to cut down on food expenses... I just wonder. I mean, SHEESH - why do we always end up with BAD habits?? How come I always pick something that will get me in trouble? I just wonder if I can get fixated on something good for a change.... like going to the gym? On the PS ... my arms were just "out there" - you could see them in everything I wore. I was so self-concious about them. I felt "successful BUT..." NOT successful - because my arms to me were just as bad as before.... worse really, because they were so disproportionate to the rest of me and sooooooo interesting to those around me. People are just curious and some are just rude. There are scars. No doubt about it. The placement of the scars isn't bad though - you can only see them if I move a certain way.... whereas before, they were covered with stretch marks and flapping around. I'm perfectly content with this long scar on the inside of my arm and in my arpit in exchange with what I had before. The cool thing about the scar in the armpit, is that he removed MOST of the skin in my armpit. So I have a tiny stripe of armpit hair that only takes one swipe with the razor! And I've forgotten to wear deodorant and had no problems. No to mention... I LOVE having thin arms!! I envied women with small arms since middle school and I just feel so dang sexy finally having a set of my own!! I chose the arms because they were the one thing that i really couldn't hide well with clothes. I chose the breasts because they were just empty skin and wouldn't even stay in a tight bra.... they just kind of oozed out all wrinkly and sad.... and obvious in a lot of clothes. 'specially when a nip is pointing in some freaky direction! (so embarrassing!) I'd love to get my tummy, butt and thighs done.... but no one can see the problems in those areas when I'm dressed. My thighs are HORRIBLE. It was kinda funny at the pool this year. When I was in the water waist high - guys were checking me out like "yeah baby!" but when I got out of the water and walked around the pool, you could just SEE everyone looking at my thighs like "what the hell happened to her!?!" BUT I don't go to the pool very often... and I'm not looking for a man. Part of me really wants to spend the money on the legs, butt & tummy - but the other part thinks I'm a dumbass because summer is only a few months out of the year. Though I really HATE the way my belly button looks like a tunnel running south to north with sandbags hanging from it. Then again, only Mike & I see it - sooooo I'm gonna make myself a deal not to plan anything yet. I need to give this part some time. I can't help but think a little face work might be better to think about (for me) in the next couple of years. The skin on my face is sagging so bad, my eyes are sunk in, I have a turkey jowl and my eyelid skin is laying all over my eyelids. It's so bad on my right eye that it interferes with my vision at times. BUT I keep reading about how peoples faces fill out again as time goes on as a longer term post-op. SOOOOOO I won't plan anything there yet either. Besides, when I wanted my arms/chest done, there was NO doubt about it - I wanted it more than anything. So I don't think I possibly could make a decision about more PS until I feel that way again. There I go again.... just babbling on and on..... sorry! Hugs Pam

Thanks for the details Pam! I have body issues too, so it is good to know I am not alone in this thing! I can't decide what I want most besides my tt. Ron (my hubby) does not want me to do anything more. He is satisfied with how I look, but I hate it when he looks at me. All I see is wrinkly saggy skin, but he seems to look right through it! I guess I should be happy that he is oblivious to it, but I keep thinking deep down inside that he is lying to himself!! I know he means what he says, because he is such an honest person, but I can't help feeling that way. I don't think your face looks saggy at all!!!! I think you are doing what I am doing and obsessing so much on what we look like that every wrinkle is magnified by about 300!! I would like to have the arms done and the boobs, but now the money thing is really tight and I guess if I did do it, then it would be a couple of years anyhow. Yours look really good. I hate how my arm skin bunches up and looks goofy when I am wearing anything short sleeve. Lets make a pact to really pack the money away! Maybe save enough for a trip together somewhere in a couple of years!! That would be a hoot. Wendy

HEY WENDY THATS awesome! HOW about getting a pic up in your profile in this outfit to share with the OH FAMILY! GLAD your getting the eating disorder issues delt with as well. AND got my fingers and toes crossed for you on the TT appeal GOOD LUCK be well