Feelin' FAT!!!!

Hey guys I know I have posted about this before, but I thought by this point I would feel better! It is soooo crazy to be 25lbs from my goal weight and still feel so huge! I have a theory but I wondered if anyone else feels the same way? I think because I am 6 ft tall and large boned, I look around at all the little petite skinny girls and get devastated that I will never look like that no matter how small I get! I don't know why this bothers me as I have a husband that adores me and I am not looking for other guys attention. I just feel like a big ol' cow some days and get annoyed. I also keep thinking about dropping my goal weight and don't know what to do. I don't want to become one of those crazy people that are obsessed, but I wonder if I am getting there. Also, for those of you who have had plastics already, did you feel this way before and don't now? Cause I am also wondering if I feel like this because of all the excess skin and such. Any opinions are welcome. Wendy

Hey Wendy You're six feet? WOW!! That's awesome. I know exactly how you feel. With all of the skin, you don't really know what you're supposed to look like. And I have been obsessed for about 6 months about what my final weight should be. I've been using body fat percentage a lot. It's much more telling then BMI which is weird if you're muscular. I do know the extra skin really kept me confused as to what was "me" and what wasn't. Once I'm healed I can't wait to do my body fat percentage again so I can work up all of the new numbers. I guess it's a good thing I like math. I think you should get your body fat % done and decide where on that scale you wouold like to be and go from there. Hope this helps. Sharyn

Thanks Sharyn, I hope that the skin is the problem, but I don't know for sure. I wonder if it is an internal thing, you know not liking myself and all. Sometimes I don't like the way I look and wish I was something else. But other days I see things I like. I think it is all about the head thing. I am healthy and I know that is what matters. I had come to feeling ok with that, but then I fall back into the trap. Wendy

It's absolutely a head thing. I go to my psychologist every once in awhile for a tune up. He pointed out the my problem set is a lot different than last year. I went from wondering if I was ever going to loose weight and beign tired of trying and being miserable to wanting to look sexy and get my body fat % into the athletic range, even though I'm an athlete. Not to mention that I would have to be leaner than the average and fit groups. The only thing lower than athlete is essential. Yeah - it's a trap!! Sharyn

Wendy, OMG I can so relate to this post though I am on the short side at 5, 1/2 inch but see those same girls and say I want to be able to wear those hip huggers. I have to learn that I am not 16-20 anymore, I turned 41 this year and I need to undetstand that but seeing all that I have done I feel that I want to take it all the way if ya know what I mean? .... I am 10 from my surgeons goal and 35 from my goal and feeling FAT as well... Hun I think we do get obsessed and we have to live with that from now on ... I am only kidding hun but I do feel the same way... ~Hugs~ Just know you are not alone.... Debra P

Thanks Debra, I know I go through this every once in awhile and then I am fine for awhile, but I find it so hard some days! Wendy

Hi Wendy! I think most of us are going through this image thing about now. I, too am so close to goal but yet feel fat. I see my changed body and wonder who this person is, for it is not me. But low and behold, it is me. I still feel like that 485 pound woman, the woman who was ridiculed, laughed at, stared at, etc... The woman that a stranger (man) would never say hello or even notice. Sometimes, I still am cautious about sitting on a chair, wondering if I'm going to fit in a booth, etc. I know that I will never be as petite as a model. But I know that a size 8 or less is fine with me. I'm already in a size 10. My sister tells me that I'm obessed with my weight and I should stop where I'm at. The anorexic thing again. I'm in no way anorexic. After my first plastic consult today, I feel like a deflated air balloon. The scars of my lifelong struggle with obesity. To hear what he had to say and what he could do, was amazing. I know that I won't be perfect but a heck of a lot better than I am now. I need to get rid of my belly apron that I've carried for years. I owe it to myself. I think it is natural that you feel this way now. Over time, your feelings will change. That's my two cents and then some worth! Hugs, Lucy

Lucy, I know what you mean exactly about feeling like your old weight. I was huge too and I just plain feel HUGE now. I don't know if I will ever see myself the way others see me, but maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it will keep my on my toes and never let me gain the weight back. I don't ever want to be that big again. I do think the plastics will help some with the way I feel about myself. I just want simple things like being able to wear underwear and not having to wear the belly shapers to keep everything from hanging in my pants. That would be nice. Wendy

Hi, Wendy-- I know exactly how you feel, because I am close to your size. When I was a teenager, I felt gawky and ugly, because I didn't look like the cute little blondes that were (and are) considered the ideal. Fortunately, I learned that many guys LIKED tall, athletic girls!! We have to learn that our beauty is our own; we can't be the cute little "Meg Ryan", but we can be ourselves, and be the wonderful, funny, intelligent, attractive women we are. Now that you are so close to your goal, I applaud your efforts. You must learn to appreciate the wonderful things about you. You are special, because you are unique, because you are YOU. Go get'em, Kid!! Good luck!

Thank you Lynn! I am trying to do more self talk and less looking around at cute little petite women! I will never be what they are and never was! God made me who I am so I guess it should be good enough for me. My husband says women spend too much time thinking about the bad body bits and men don't see those til we point them out! LOL! I hope I will feel more released after my plastics. If I get my insurance to cover it! Wendy