I need your feedback!

Hi all, I need your feedback about a situation I encountered over the weekend. I went out to dinner friday night with one of my two best friends who has been tremendously supportive of my weight loss efforts. She struggles with a weight problem herself, but not to the magnitude that requires surgery. She wanted some shopping assistance for an upcoming wedding, and I'm proud to say we found her a dress, shoes and jewelry that made her feel wonderful and looked fantastic on her. I was happy to give her that mileage. Then we had Mexican. I'm sure some of you can relate to the challenge of being overwhelmed with an oversized portion of food. I drank half a margarita and ate 6 tortilla chips, broken into quarters, dipped in salsa. She finished the basket. She ordered Chimichangas and cleaned her plate, then afterwards had to unbutton her jeans on the ride home because she felt overly stuffed. I ordered pollo en mole poblano. Bravely I tackled the dish, eating approximately a half cup of the chicken and sauce, and a few bites of each of the beans, rice and salad. All total, it was about one cup of food. There must have been 8 on my plate! She seemed mortified that the small amount was all I could eat. She worried that I am turning anorexic and wondered if that is a side effect of the surgery. I told her I supposed it could happen, but make no mistake, I'm not done with weight loss, and the band is in control. She expressed concern about my calorie intake, and I recounted everything I ate that day, factoring in the 8 peanut m&m's and my 65 grams of protein that added up to about 1300 calories. She told me I should take the leftovers home, and I said that if I was going to just throw something out I wasn't going to bother with putting it in my garbage, it was better off in the restaurant's. I said that dining out was more about a social experience and enjoying her company than what I was actually eating. I reminded her that the process of getting banded was one of the most challenging, devastating and difficult things I had ever done in my life, and what I was eating was just one component - exercising 5-7 hours a week also adds - but is a tremendous amount of work. I also reminded her how important she is to me, and that I would never have been able to do this without her support to lean on. As we were finishing this conversation, I was finishing my dinner, feeling pressured to eat more. I took a bite of the chicken, and - you guessed it - STUCKAGE. So there I was trying to be the perfect bandster and fulfilling her prophecy of being an anorexic! It's kind of funny. As I progress on this journey, I'm more and more aware that to be successful I need to meet these difficult situations head on, and I can no longer eat over them. I feel a little bit like I was sabotaged here, although I know she didn't mean to do that. It's her issue, not mine, but I'm a caring and supportive friend. The difference is I can no longer react in the manner I used to - I need to put myself first. But the feelings and the relationship are still there, and they need to be managed, you know? As I'm going this summer, I'm encountering moments of sabotage, and I'm realizing that more important than the weight loss, the work and the exercise, learning how to deal with these subtle, well-intended yet destructive things is going to be a key to my long-term success. From everyone - even in my most critical relationships. I am proud of how I look because I know how much work its taken to get here. And God help me if I ever go back. Change starts from within, the external changes are just a bonus! I feel the need to share this experience and welcome your feedback. Is there something more or different that I could have done to improve this situation? Yours in 176 pounds down, Jen

I think things like that are a matter of lack of knowledge about wls more than sabotage Jen. I find that my immediate family totally understands what I do because they have been with me through this since the beginning, but anyone who lives outside my home doesn't understand. People can live on A LOT less than they think. Portions are so way oversized now days that people think that is normal. I personally think your friend was not being uncaring so much as ignorant of your procedure. I have learned to ignore these statements and tell them that as long as my blood work and levels are doing ok I don't worry. Vitamins and protein are so important and even people without wls don't get enough nutrition. You can share that if you think it will help. Good luck and Congrats on the loss! You and I have lost the same amount! Cool huh? Wendy