Jealousy?

Hey all. I was just thinking about relationships recently. I work third shift in the ER in patient registration at my hospital. And I get lots of attention now from the guys at work, especially the security guards. I told my husband and he is a little jealous. He even told me that I should wear my hair "up" to work cause it is more "professional"! LOL I know that means more unattractive!! He must be right because when my hair is down I get more compliments. Has anyone else been dealing with this? I thought I would get really upset over male attention, but I am finding the jealousy thing with my hubby kind of amusing at this stage and since I am really secure in my relationship I have been using it to get more attention from him. Maybe I shouldnt do that? What do you all think? I don't want to cause any marital strife or anything. Do you guys think innocent flirtation is ok if that is all it ever is? Wendy

Wendy, Wow, that is a toughie. My initial response is no you are playing with fire. But I need to think on it a while. I am going to go to the drive in with my hubby tonight. Who I am a little mad at so it should be interesting. But I will think on this subject while I am ignoring himLOL and get back to you later. Have a great friday night. Mine should be interesting. Lynn

Go easy on him Lynn LOL!! Wendy

IS it a full mooon or something... my husband is being impossible to00000! lisa

Well i think there is two types of flirty... there is a flirty that is meant to be in a sexual way or at least to show interest.. then there are personalities that are just feisty and fun and tease people a lot. And i don't think the later is a problem. You just have to be wary of if the flirtations you feel ever spark an interest on the other persons part. If they know that is just your personality and you have always been like that but it is just different now that you are thinner... it may be a dynamic we are not used to dealing with with out thin bodies. I know i still have fat mentality on lots of stuff. I was always very flirty cause i was fat and i know people didn't take it seriously. And i could get away with stuff that way. But i have noticed now that i am the same exact way... but because i am thinner the wives or girlfriends take it much differently than before. I have told my husband about a couple of people that have hit on me just cause i am so shocked by it. He just never believes me. That makes me feel sad... i think i am worthy of being hit on> LOL Anyway.. jus****ch it. Be careful you don't talk about it so much to your husband that he freaks out and thinks you re trying to give him unwritten ultimatums with the other guys. I think it is nice for him to see others find you attractive so he doesn't get too complacent. But yet he needs to feel secure in your relationship as well. Just makes sure it always stays as secure as it is now. We just have to be aware of how much of the flirtting is happening because we are in need of that self esteem boost. After many years of people not paying attention it is nice to have poeple notice it. We just have to be careful to be normal with it.

I think that is exactly it! I not only am enjoying the attention from others, but I like that my hubby is jealous!! He was NEVER jealous of me and it made me wonder if he thought I was sexy even when he told me I was. So now he sees other guys wanting me and he tells me I am hot all the time and stuff. I love the heck out of him though and don't ever want him to think I would cheat on him. I would never. And I am not flirting like I want the guys, I am just smiling and soaking up the attention LOL! Thanks Paula I will keep an eye on myself and make sure I don't go overboard. I think you are right abou****ching it. Wendy

heehee... interesting topic! All the new attention i've been getting has my hubby acting funny too. He actually notices guys checking me out more than I do. I have a tendency to not look people in the eye - probably because when i was pre-op people didn't look at me anyway or when they did, they gave a "sorry for me" or "disgusted" look... and i didn't want to see it. But anyway - most of the time Mike and I yuk it up. We get goofy. I'll smile back at whoever it is and Mike just laughs and laughs - then he comes over to me and gives me a big hug and a kiss and we strut out together giggling. Mike goes through phases on how it affects him though. You know how when you've been with someone for a long time - you open your own doors, carry your own heavy stuff, open your own jars or whatever... now he's back to "let me get that for you" - or texting me "I'm thinking of you" and calling just to say "I love you" - which I LOVE! Then goes through the "honey, do I still do it for you?" "Do you still love me even though I've gained weight?" insecure phase. As far as flirting goes - I don't know. It just depends I think. Most of the time, if a guy flirts with me, in the back of my mind - I'm smirking and thinking he's a shallow idiot because a year ago, he wouldn't have flirted with me. So flirting with me NOW is just pathetic. And I walk away feeling sorry for the stupid shallow schmucker....giggling because it's almost cute how stupid he is. (I know, that's awful isn't it?) I think harmless flirting is okay - by that i mean with people that you KNOW aren't serious. People I feel safe with. Just goofing off. Although, I will confess to wearing a tight t-shirt and tight capri pants with my new rack fluffed up - and flirting with the cable guy because he first told me that he would have to dig under my driveway to run the line and I was afraid he would screw up our driveway. So I LOWERED myself to a little smiling and eye batting and dumb blondeness - asking lots of stupid girly questions in my best girly flirty voice until he agreed to dig down the edge of the yard (and leave my driveway alone) to bury the cable and run it to the house. AND then, to convince him to not drill the hole on the closest end of the house, but to dig all the way around the house and bring the cable up on the opposite side of the house. It worked. Eh, what's a girl to do?! Mike was proud of me. I don't even think of other men as prospects. Mike is my man. I don't want anyone but him. Everytime someone flirts with me or I flirt back - I have this firmly set in my mind. So it's no problem for me. I can be quite the smart-azz comedian when someone puts the moves on. It' just too funny to me. I was out at the bar with the OH gang in Richmond and when I turned around from the bar, this guy was standing there smiling and seriously raped me up and down with his eyes. My jaw dropped at just how RUDE that was and i said really loud "ARE YOU CHECKING ME OUT?" and he said "Yes, is that okay?" I said, "Well, you can LOOK" and I tossed my hair over my shoulder and walked away. (maybe you had to be there - but it was funny) Is this long enough? Anyway, I think harmless flirting is okay - as long as you make your hubby know he's your #1 and only. Hugs, Pam

Oh he is totally my one and only. I owe this man my whole world. I would NEVER cheat on him. I don't even consider it. I think it is just a matter of fun for me. Which is weird because 6 months ago when a guy flirted with my it sent me into a total panic which sent me to the psychologist!! Weird huh? But now I feel so much more secure with myself I know how I will react and it doesn't terrify me now. I just love how my hubby is more attentive, like you were saying, opening doors and little things like that. It is really an ego booster. Thanks Pam, Wendy