One Year And Counting!

So technically tomorrow is one year since surgery, but I normally weigh in on Wednesdays since last year my surgery was on a Wednesday. So I weighed in today at 157lbs, down 111lbs since having my surgery!! At this point I am pretty much a perfect 12 across the board. Some pants I still need a 14 in but that is b/c all my weight has always been in my tummy and I am happy with that! Of course I will cheat and weigh in again tomorrow just do double check and of course I will use my lower weight between today and tomorrow as my official one year weight loss. I feel that after everything I have been through I am entitled to a little cheat like that! Not feeling real well today though, Splenda and some poor eating from over the weekend have gotten the best of me. BAD tummy and back ache since Monday. I thought it would have all be gone by today and it would have if it wasn't for the fact the Sugar Free Fudgesickle I ate last night turned out to be sweetened w/ Splenda. So that is killing me today. The normal brand I buy does not use Splenda. BOO HOO! I will be ok I am sure by tomorrow! But must just be very careful with food, my ugly eating disorder is rearing it's ugly head once again and not doing too well with it all! Found a new therapist who so far seems very cool and hopefully will help me work through all this! I have no idea as to why, but I was so good with all my food for so long post op but then it all just snapped in my head and I have been bad once again, but thank god, I have been able to maintain and continue to lose weight, but honestly I think that is what is keeping me in my bad food behaviors, b/c I see that I am still losing despite the binging on CRAP food! Time to straighten out and STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you to everyone for your support over the last year! I really do appreciate everything from everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have updated one year pictures up soon! LOVE TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ilyssa 268/157/ Do I want to go further???

Ilyssa, congrats on your upcomng anniversary! I think most of us can relate to the insatiable feelings of late to get into our pre-op eating habits. I've been there recently and it's so hard to get back on track once off. It's all about support and forgiving yourself about eating the wrong or too much foods. Let's face it, we're perfectionists, it's either 100% or nothing. I am trying to learn that a slip once in a while, is not the end of the world or my gaining control of eating. I hope you're feeling better and getting that ill stuff out of your system. We feel the best when we're eating properly. At least I know that I do! Hugs, Lucy 484.8/383.4/193.4/160 pre-surg/surg day/current/goal

Thank you Lucy! It's bizarre b/c before surgery I wasn't a perfectionist and now I don't consider myself one, now I just have perfectionist tendancies LOL!!!! B/C of my behavior I have to teach myself to control my slips, b/c one slip over a weekend can become a weekend of hell and that is just not good b/c that usually leads to a week of hell afterwards! I am definately working on feeling better and thank you for your kind words! Your doing amazing as well!! Keep up the great work!!! Ilyssa

Happy Surgiversary, Happy Surgiversary, Happy Surgiversary, HAAAAAAAPPYYYY Surgiversary!!!!!! Now for the "you are such a terrible person" LOL! Just kidding! Honestly, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I do the same thing. I keep telling myself that as long as I still go down that I can eat what I want some days. NOT a healthy way to rid myself of these bad habits! I do have sane days and straighten myself out, but I have found that my hormones play a HUGE part in the snacking and craving. I want salt and sugar for about 1 week every month and it throws me off. I get so po'd at myself cause I give in! I do seem to get a handle on it once again however and I know you can too. Counseling is definitely a step in the right direction. Wendy

THANK YOU SWEETIE! It is comforting to know I am not the only one out there with these food "issues". But to be honest I am soooo sick of it! So hopefully this last stint of fudging up ROYALLY will be the last for a long time! Thanks for your support! BTW, I know i have told you this, but YOU LOOK AMAZING keep up the good work! Ilyssa

Hey Ilyssa! Congrats on your anniversary!!! You have done a wonderful job. You are so wise to be working on your negative behaviors before they get hold of you again!! I had my husband take my one year pics last evening, and of course, my fur babies are in them!!! They are so funny! Gracey especially wants to be around when we are doing anything, so she is in most of them! Have a great day! Cindy

Hey Cindy! Thank you so much! You are looking wonderful! As I have told you before and I will tell you again, I love the fact the babies get in all the shots! How are you feeling these days? I have read your profile, but I have to admit I have been terrible about reading the boards! When are you having your surgery? Have you picked a plastic surgeon yet? Ilyssa

I thought you would enjoy seeing them once again in my pictures! I'm feeling good, no more mystery pain...we'll just wait and see if that comes back. Meanwhile, I have an appointment with one PS on Friday and another next Tuesday. They are the two most popular here in Huntsville. I'll make a decision after the consults, and then we'll get the TT and hysterectomy scheduled. I'm hoping it can happen in the next few weeks...I expect to be out of work for 4-6 weeks and I have a cruise scheduled to celebrate our 25th anniversary in September so I want to be all healed by then! C

Hey Cindy, Good luck w/ the PS appointments. I have met with one so far, but he wanted to see my weight stablize some more. Since seeing him I did lose about 10 more lbs so I guess that is good. Plus since having my adhesions removed last month and missing out on about 3 weeks of work, I have to wait next year for my TT! GRRRRR!!!! I am sure you will be find by Septemeber! Just rest and get in a lot of extra protein, it totally helps the healing process from any surgery! Take care, Ilyssa

I kind of wondered about them wanting me to be a bit further out, but since I have to have the hysterectomy I want to get it done now. I doubt I could afford the money or the time off for an additional and separate surgery. I'll just have to convince them that now is the time!!! I'm trying to get more protein in even now...it's hard. Have a good day, Cindy