My change of heart.

OK guys. I have been struggling with this little demon over the last few months now. You know the one, it says "Hey, no matter how much weight you have lost, you are still a fat ugly cow!" It also says things like, "You are no good and don't deserve to be happy." My body image and self esteem, have really been bad. Well, this weekend I spent some time with my family, it was a heart changing experience. I actually ran on the playground with my kids. I climbed the rock wall and slid down the slide while my children cheered me on!! We walked a mile in the park with the dogs, without breaking a sweat, and then later on biked 2 miles together in the country!! My husband couldn't keep his hands off me this weekend and I looked around at out beautiful new home in the country and sat on my deck and it hit me that life is good! Nothing is better than what I have right now!! I decided to quit feeling sorry for myself, and start appreciating what I had at the moment. God has blessed me more than words can say and I know eventually the skin will come off. Also my mom said something to me that hit me deep. She said "you know Wendy, one day we all get old anyway and the wrinkles and sags come no matter how hard you fight it!" I never wanted to be a vain old woman anyway! I always admired the beautiful women who allowed themselves to grow older with grace and be who they were. I know this was long, but I wanted to share this with you all in case any of you had that same demon visiting you too. Tell him to take a hike, life is good! Wendy

Wendy, That was beautifully said...I hope to accept and adjust too...Alesia

Hi Wendy. Love your post! You are right on target with this one. I think we've been thinking that way for so long it is hard to change our way of thinking. Looks like you have and that's something to be proud of. We are living our life for the better. So many of us don't remember what it was like to be able to do all the things that regular people do. People take it for granted until something happens to them, like breaking a leg or arm. Then you realize how much you have and should be grateful for. I am grateful for each day I have on this earth. I am enjoying and living my life for the first time as an adult. I was fat since the age of 8 and missed out on so much in my teenage years and young adult life. I didn't have any children and have mourned over that for so long. So the message is to everyone, get out there and enjoy your new lifestyle. Do whatever you dreamed to do.. I always wanted to take a hot air balloon ride. I did that last month in Arizona. Was I scared? Yes, at first. Once I was up in the sky, I wasn't scared anymore. I saw the beauty of nature and loved it! Thanks for your post Wendy! Hugs, Lucy

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wendy, I am so proud of you! What a beautiful change of heart. I too am grateful for every single day that I am healthier and happier. And, I also have a ton of sagging skin but Al thinks I am hot so I am working on trying to think so too! Hey, I look good IN clothes, that is something I couldn't say before. I hope that we can all begin to feel grateful for every day on this earth. It isn't always easy and we are all in different places, understandably, but when you can get to the grateful place, it is awesome, no?? Love ya! Jo

Hi Wendy , that post really hits home with me since June 23 2005, I'm down 265 lbs and getting my head around that has been very hard , I hope to have an event like that myself soon............................... In the last year , I have moved to a new city , have a new job and a new women in my life who has a beautiful smart 16 yr old daughter ,she is great in sports and my life is great now , but getting head used to the changes is really tough.. hope everyone has a great day , only 10 more days to my new BIRTHDAY , JUNE 23 , the start of my NEW LIFE.

that post was wonderfully put! i hope someday to get rid of that stupid demon in my head! but i just love looking at your new pic. you look so beautiful, wendy! you deserve the happiness you felt this weekend, each and every day!!! love ya!

Wendy you are beautiful inside and out always remember that please.

Wendy~ Good for you for kickin' that old demon to the curb!!! Isn't is about time for us all to soak up the beauty that our life is right now? Not that it's not without frustration and pain, but what a blessing God has given us with this second chance! I am thrilled for you and your heart change. What a magnificent way to begin the summer! Way to go!!! Hugs, Kerri

Wendy, First off, I didn't even recognize you!!! You look AMAZING! Your doing wonderful with everything! I am glad to see you have had a change of heart, b/c you deserve it! You are an amazingly caring person to all around you and we all see it in your posts! Just keep up the good work!!!! Congrats! Ilyssa

Changed things in my life i never thought about being an issue. Biggest one begin playing and doing more things with my kids. And they love it and appreciate it more and it enhances our relationship so much. I am so happy for your new found focus. If we focus on all the positives that have been changed i think we will all be better off and happier in the long run.