Just feeling like a failure!!!!

Hey all, Nice to be back. I lost the web site for a bit. Got back and everything was different! Hope you are all well. I am going through a funk right now. I have lost well, being down almost 140 pounds. Maybe more like 136-138. So that is good. I am happy about that. Something seems terribly wrong though. I am just not in sync with myself or something. Maybe it's that the initial obsession with the WLS has subsided and I am not thinking about it all the time anymore. I dont know. Now I feel that I eat WAY too much or something. I don't know if I can gain weight at this point or what. I don't even know if I am in danger of it. I suppose a food journal would be wise. Is anyone else going through this type of thing? I was actually thinking of going to weigh****chers or something just to get my head back into the program. I eat normally. I don't concern myself with how much of this and that I eat. I am very healthy, blood work wise. I have no problem with any foods, no sugar reactions. Actually, one would think I never even had the surgery! I just can't believe how much I still like to eat..really, why would I have thought that would change? My sister in law who had this surgery before me seems not to like eating so much anymore. I guess I thought that would happen to me. No such luck! I don't mean to be moaning and groaning, but I am sort of concerned. I made an appointment with a psychologist for Friday. This is one of the issues I will work on. I hope it helps. Meanwhile, if you have any tips on how to get my head back in the game, pass them on. I would GREATLY appreciate them! Thanks so much! Rossana 334/197

Hi Rossana! Welcome back! You have no reason to feel like a failure - look at you! You have lost a LOT of weight! I get what you're saying though. It's frightening to think that we could go back to our previous mindset of just eating without really even thinking about it. But we really do have to be mindful of it....remember that this surgery is just a tool and our previous way of thinking got us into trouble. I say this with love. It could be that you are eating just fine...and maybe it just seems like it's alot because you are eating more than you could before. Sure seems like that is where a lot of us are right now. I think the food journal is a good idea. AND the fact that you have an appt with a psychologist further proves that you are not a failure, but very proactive in taking charge of your life. Writing it all down puts it in perspective for me. I record my weight each day, what I ate and when ... if anything unusual is going on.... if I exercised.... what vitamins/supplements I took. Every so often I look back over it...sometimes like a stranger who has never seen it before. It shows me what I need to improve on. I highly recommend the journaling. You are not alone in the still like to eat thing. I do too. I still like to eat yummy things. But I realize that i eat much less of it now.... whereas before, I would shove as much of a good thing as I could in my belly until nothing else would fit! I think the mental aspects of all of this will be with us forever and we will forever evolve to deal with them. Luckily, we have this place to come to and we have each other. I think you are doing great Rossana and you are taking good measures to ensure your continued success! Hugs, Pam

HEY ROSSANA! FIRST off (((HUG))) and second your not a failure at all! YOU have done fabulous. LIKE YOU, i am at a scared point. I can eat more now. FOOD is appealing again and i dont want to loose control again. I noticed at EASTEr i had ate food, good choices before the meal and still was able to eat the main meal and this bothers me. I have started for myself takeing weight management councling sessions with a PSCY nurse, who is a weight loss surgery patient herself so i feel she can really help We are do have to make right choices now and work hard to maintain our losses and continue looseing. HUGS this journey is getting harder! lisa

Rossana, I too had felt like a failure this past month. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! Look how far you have come! I wanted to eat and eat, of course all the foods that are not healthy. I saw myself starting to get into the old eating behaviors that got me to my weight. I decided that this was the most important thing in my life and went to a clinical psychologist to get a handle on my stress eating behavior. I was able to identify my stressors but needed help in new ways to handle them. My clinical psychologist was able to provide some insight and I was able to curtail my negative eating behaviors and got back on the wagon. I had gained about 5 pounds and have lost it and an additional 7.4 pounds since then. I had even cut down on exercising and now I am back in full swing. You can do this! Just remember how you felt prior to the surgery. Go back to the basics of protein, water, vitamins and exercise. Do seek assistance from someone. If it's not a psychologist then a friend. Anyone, someone! You are worth all this effort! I know that you can do this!!! Hugs, Lucy 484.8/383.4/203.2 Original weight/surgery day weight/current weight

Sorry you feel this way. You've done great! My weight loss has plateaued for the last month, so I know how you feel. I am actually trying to increase my calories to see if that works. I sure hope you get thru this, but you are far from a failure. You've done an excellent job...but yes, we still will have the same issues as before. It is good you are dealing w/ them. You like to eat, cuz you can. I don't dump either, so I do enjoy eating. But my friends that dump, hate it. I almost wish I did dump. Nway, hope things turn around for you, but be encouraged, cuz you are a success!

I think getting some type of counseling is your best bet. I also think journaling what you eat is very important - I'm still resisting doing it myself. I keep saying that I'll start doing it tomorrow. I know that it will help, but as usual I resist things that are good for me. I think we are all at a critical point now that we are getting close to a year out. The weight isn't coming off easily and we can eat more - very scary. We have a lot of important decisions to make that can make or break our weightloss experience. I hate the thought that I'm almost back in charge again instead of my stomach - Does that even make sense? I liked the fact that my stomach would not let me eat. I don't trust myself at all when it comes to food. However, I've come too far to fail now. So...let's both start jounaling our food intake starting tomorrow and see if it helps. I'm really gonna do it. Good luck. Dawn

First of Congratulations on your tremendous weight loss. If i recall... this is the first problem you have had losing. A couple of months ago most of u**** a plateau and you were still losing pretty well. Maybe it is just finally time for your lull to hit. I personally feel our bodie**** a point that they need a break from the rapid loss and try to normalize a bit. I have noticed things still seem to change and the skin tightens up during this time so it is not a total loss. I do think keeping a food journal has really helped me. I use Fit Day and i can record my exercise and my calorie intake. It is very helpful to show how many calories i have actually ingested. Sometimes it is so very easy for calories to add up. I know i eat less and make better choices when i know i have to account for them. Also if i have a bad day... i can look right at the meal or the snacks that made it a bad day. usually it is one or two really bad fattening choices and it helps me make a better choice next time.