entering uncharted territory . . .

Hi Junebugs . . . Well the scale has not budged since I stated my "anniversary goal" but I have been losing "inches" so I need to remember not to get discouraged, the scale weight is just a number yet there are other goals to reach that are attainable as well. So . . . the size 12 jeans I had purchased from Goodwill as "inspiration" a couple of months back? I got into them yesterday. So I went back and bought two more pair of size 12's, different brand names, and they both fit too. I am so excited! See, I have never been this small. Never. I have been obese all of my life! The last time I was in my 170's was during the middle of an expensive Jenny Craig period, and as soon as I stopped that program I packed the weight back on and then some. It is weird, though . . . part of me is a bit scared of getting any smaller, I guess because it is uncharted territory for me? I don't want to self-sabotage yet I have found myself eating a lot of stuff this past 2 weeks that is NOT conducive to weight loss (think lots of carbs and sweets). Just wondering if anyone else out there is experiencing "fear of success" like I seem to be?! -BJ 5'6" 300/175-8 bouncing ugh/150-60??? and in desperate need of TT!!!!

I know exactly what you are saying... I'm just now in the 190's again, 196 to be exact....I haven't been under 200 pounds for 30 years and I'm so afraid that I'll screw this up like I have other things in the past. Kinda feeling like I'm hanging out there without a safety net....but boy is this flying fun! Congratulations on your success....We'll just have to toughen up and get over our fear of success...what a good way to describe this feeling....

"hanging without a safety net" is a PERFECT description of the way I'm feeling about this right now, Krista! We'll just all have to work together on this fear-of-success issue and fly by the seat of our [baggy and gettin-baggier] pants! -BJ

Hi Your post made me think. I have been on a plateau for a while, mostly my own doing (see my post on the thread above this one)... I wonder if subconsciously I've been sabotaging my success. I feel, in a way, that at a size 14 I'm still "me"... the "me" I've always known and loved Although I have goals, I guess I haven't really been able to truly picture in my mind a size 12 me, let alone a size 10 me! Ack! That said, I think it's time for all of us who may be feeling this way to VISUALIZE the new improved us and realize we have taken a VERY courageous step by having this surgery and we should let NOTHING stop us from seeing it all the way through! Who's with me? Angie 280/182.5/140 http://www.geocities.com/tiger_angie http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=L1098876573

Wow Angie I think you nailed this one! I am totally unable to visualize in my mind a new "me" in a smaller body at this point. When I hold up these size 12 jeans it is like they are from Mars or something LOL . . . honestly even when I hold them up I can't believe I can fit myself into them . . . yesterday I took a couple of pairs on and off in total disbelief. Is that nutso or what???!!! I read a book by Geneen Roth a few years back and it had visualization exercises in it, gonna try to recall which title it was and see if I can get my hands on it again. I remember one of the exercises was to visualize yourself at your current (largest) weight standing alone on top of a hill. Then visualize yourself getting smaller and smaller, the weight shrinking away . . . then you are supposed to say the first thing that comes into your mind. I remember blurting out, "I'm still here, can't you see me!" which gave me goosebumps, like I was using my large size as a way to anchor myself to the surroundings and/or to be acknowledged, and if I was too light I imagined myself just floating away or being ignored, etc. Strange, huh? Thanks for giving me more, um, food for thought on this topic LOL! -BJ

I'm taking that food for thought to heart! It's on my new food plan!Thanks ladies for helping me realize that this is what I've wanted for my entire life...to wake up skinny. I didn't think it was possible and I'm sure that I'm trying to sabatoge my success. I was surprised when I was larger to see my relfection in a window while walking. I couldn't believe I had gotten SO BIG...now I see my reflection and turn around to see who might be behind me, can't imagine that I'm that person being reflected. I think that our June 29th birthday will be the best one I've ever celebrated. I'm seeing the real me for the first time...

WOW!!! I didn't realize the three of us are all "29'ers"... how freaky is that??? OK, so... we're all on the same page, yes? I posted above about what I've done to get back in track, at least food-wise... now I gotta get my butt exercising so I can reach my goals! BTW, did you see my profile? I've "gone public" with my goals

Well if I had just read first I would have seen I'm not the only one! Here I keep thinking I'm the only one that thinks as I do lol!!! I mentioned to my thin family member that i thought i was afraid and wish I could share the "look" I got!!! They who have never been obese can never understand. I don't write much but I visit and soak in from all of you that do and I thank-you. Connie

That's why I love it here. Because we all do "get it" Hang in there... And don't be afraid to become a new you!

OK... sooooo... I'm beginning to really FREAK OUT! First off, when I saw the photo I took yesterday, I was like... Who IS that? That is SO not the me I see!!! Whew... how weird that feels! And then... the pants I had on yesterday were labeled size 12... I figured it's one of those sizes that runs really big, because hey, I'm a 14, right!? So this morning I put on my 14 Tommy Hilfiger jeans that I love... and they don't feel quite right... why... what's wrong with the pants, I'm thinking..? Well, they're big! ACK! WHAT??? So... I go to the side of my closet where I have the size 12 pants I've been buying, you know... for when I get there... so... I tried them all on. And I'm sitting here typing while wearing a pair of PASSPORTS size 12 jeans today... a size 12! All the others were a little on the tight side, but ALL (with the exception of one pair of Levi's) zipped up just fine! I'm thinking sooner, rather than later, I will be wearing nothing but size 12s! WHAT IN THE WORLD??? This is exciting and scary and cool and freaky all at the same time! I don't know what to do with myself!!!