discouraged and disappointed

Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while because I'm in a funk. While my weight loss seems right in line with all of the other JuneBugs . . . I am getting distressed about the amount of food I am able to consume at one meal compared to what I read on posts and profiles here at AMOS. I see my surgeon again on Sept 22 (next week) and I am going to ask him to confirm whether or not I have a large pouch -- or an enlarged stoma (the opening from stomach to intestines). From what I've read at AMOS . . . I think my stoma was not made small enough. I have NEVER felt restriction like others have posted about. I think my food is going straight through my stomach and into my intestines quickly -- thus I never feel full or satisfied. Over the weekend I was able to eat EIGHT large steamed shrimp at one sitting . . . and then only one hour later was able to eat 1/2 of a grilled cheese sandwich. At another sitting last week, I wanted to test my "capacity" and was able to eat FOUR CUPS of popcorn. Of course, I chewed all this food very well . . . but still -- this seems like way too much to be able to eat, compared with others??? I am so upset about this. I would never have reached the 300-lb mark if I could do this on willpower and measuring alone. I was told not only would I feel restriction (thus a tool to reduce food intake) I would also more likely than not experience dumping (so far, no dumping to report). I am afraid I will be a failure at WLS. While I'm losing now due to malabsorption . . . what will it be like a few months from now when my body has acclimated itself to the surgery and my intestines are able to absorb more calories? Was this all in vain? Is anyone else experiencing this? PLEASE I ask a favor. Those of you who want to reply with advice about sticking to surgeon's diet plan and measuring quantities -- PLEASE DON'T. I know surgery is not a magic bullet and there is work involved to get and stay healthy. I just wasn't prepared for the constant hunger and the disappointment I'm feeling. I'm so depressed and feeling like a failure . . . and that starts the viscious cycle of just wanting to say the heck with it all and eating to stuff these feelings down. Sigh. -BJ

Please talk to your doctor!! Marian

Don't be discouraged. My surgeon told me that it's differrent for everyone. If you're like me you're a stress eater. The more uptight you get about this the more you'll try to eat. Call your surgeon before your appointment. If they have a dietician in the clinic talk to them on the phone. My dietician has been a great tool for calming my nerves. Also, try drinking a lot. I've discovered that coffee with creamer and sweetner helps to fill me up. Just don't give up. Alicia

Barbara, I am so sorry you are discouraged. I have times when I can eat more than other times.....I never know when I can or can't.....but sometimes I can eat alot. I can put away 4 cups of popcorn easily....it chews pretty small....try eating and spitting it into a cup, then you can see how small it really ends up. HOWEVER.....I am losing weight, I'm down 57# now since 6/3/04...not real fast, but I know it will come off. Also, if you drink liquid with your meals, it will wash the food out of your pouch and into your remaining intestines. We should not drink for 30-60 minutes after a meal. Are you drinking with your meals? I have a hard time not, and I'm sure that's part of my problem. But I would discuss it all with your doctor......just don't get so blue you give up. Best to you, Tracey

Tracey, thanks for replying, I don't feel quite so bad about the popcorn quantity now, phew. I have been trying to follow the "pouch rules" and not drink while I eat or after I eat. I do try to water-load in between mealtimes. Unfortunately, it doesn't stay in my pouch long enough for the hungries to go away. I guess I will just wait and see what the surgeon says next week. I am keeping track of everything I eat on fitday.com and printing out a report to show him just what I'm consuming. Thanks for your words of encouragement! I knew if I posted about how discouraged I'm feeling . . . you JuneBugs would make me feel better. -BJ

Barbara, I am right along with you. I had Lap Rny on June 9th. I have lost only 43 lbs. In the last month I have only lost 1 lb. I have hit the first plateau....I am so distraught! (sp). My husband had open Rny on May 18th and has effortlessly dropped 90 lbs. I know he has more to lose...but he never seems hungry...and I do feel hungry!!!! I dont go back to my doctor until Dec for my 6 month check up and I am so frightened that I will not lose anymore weight. So if you hear any good advice about this...pass it on to me ...but know that you are not alone in this. I am frightened by the fact that I can eat more and I feel hungry. Cherish-Louisiana 218/175 -43 lbs

Hi Cherish (I love your name!)!! I know at some point that we all we get that hungry feeling back, I've read people's profiles that say the hunger starts back around month #6 or so. I sure wasn't expecting the hunger to arrive so soon -- and definitely not just an hour after a meal, LOL. Sigh. I have been reading profiles and searching the AMOS "library" page about enlarged stomas. There is not a lot that can be done for this. I'm hoping this is a case of us just still needing to get used to the WLS process and it's nothing physical? There is one woman who had a revision done to her original RNY. She had a surgeon place a lapband to get the restriction feeling. I sure hope this isn't in the cards for me, but I plan on getting ANSWERS from my surgeon next week. I've asked him at each visit about restriction (or my lack of it) and he basically tells me to slow down and it will come in time. Hmpf. I have ramped up my walking and plan to really buckle down and eat nothing but protein this week to kickstart the weight loss again. For what it's worth, I think your 43 pound loss is FANTASTIC considering you started as a lightweight. Good luck! -BJ

In the Success with Weight loss Surgery book that I just received in the mail.. can't remember the author but I got it on the bariatrics advantage website..... and she( the author) said if you want to know how big your pouch is...... first thing in the morning before you have eaten anything.... measure out and eat as much cottage cheese as you can in a very short amount of time.... ****il you feel full) then pour measured water back into the cotage cheese container... to see how many oz you can put into your pouch. I didn't understand why you couldn't just measure the cottagecheese and then use that as your amount.... but I didn't write the book....lol. Anyways.. I hope this helps....I also worry that ... this won't work or that I am consuming too much food.... and i hate the feeling of hunger...it actually terrifies me. So hang in there..you are NOT alone.... in this battle we have been facing....fear of failure...is my biggest hurdle....because I have experienced it sooo many times before.... DOn't allow yourself to self-prophesy your mind into failing either... just keep your chin up.... do what you know is right for your diet..( protein, water, and exercise) and it will get better. ttyl...cindy

Hi BJ, I don't dump on sugar either, it is so scary. I feel like I can eat more than I should, I haven't lost any weight in the last 3 weeks. I do feel down, so many people have such high hopes for me that it does put presure on to see results. We have to give ourselves a break, all we can do is keep checking what we are doing that we are following the plan we set. We are so new to this, I try to tell myself not to freak out at least until Chrismas time or the 6 month point, if I haven't lost a decent amount by then I will start worring and getting help where ever I can find it. I even bought Dr. Phills book (Im not a Dr. Phill fan!) But I thought it can't hurt and I have heard good things about it. I bought it second hand through Amazon so it didn't cost much. All I can think of is I have to keep paying attention.. I can't just let my weight go back up without a fight. It is so scary, the worst part is I'm afraid of myself!

Patti, You are not alone. I can relate to how you are feeling about everything you posted. I had a two and a half week plateau recently, then managed to drop 6lbs in three days. I was so worried I had stopped losing weight. I think your body just needs to play catch up. I think setting realistic time frames and doing our best to not beat ourselves up is the only way we can ride out these hurdles yet that isnt as easy as it sounds. Let us know what you think of the Dr. Phil book. I dont mind him too much and have also heard good things about his books. Amy