I need some emotional reassurance!!!

I thought postop, I'd feel wonderful. But I feel like "Why did I do this to myself?" I had my surgery 6/22/04 and came home 6/28/04. The pain was not an issue. I can deal with pain. I just feel so hungry and so deprived. Obviously the hunger is a mental issue. I guess I am going through "Food Withdraw" if that makes any sense. Our support groups are once a month but I need more than that. If anyone can give me a word of advice or support, it would be deeply appreciated. As for eating, I can. No major problems. I can't drink 8-10 glasses of water each day, maybe half of that. My sence of smell is ridiculous!!! Everything I smell makes me sick. I walked into the grocerie store and about puked because I thought it smelled awful. My husband assured me the store smelled like a store. Help!!! Someone. Anyone. Please. Lupe Quinones, Denver, Colorado

Lupe, You poor thing! You sound just like me. I had a mini-emotional breakdown last night because I cannot eat anything. I either eat too fast or don't chew it well enough, or something, since it all comes back up. My hubby is an awesome source of support, and he helped me remember why I had the surgery in the first place - I was MISERABLE! As he pointed out I was more miserable 3 weeks ago then I am now. I may be irked that I cannot eat or that certain smells make me puke, but I CAN walk without gasping for air, I CAN wear my seatbelt, I CAN chase my babies, I CAN make scrumptious protein drinks, which count towards the 8-10 glasses of water per day, I CAN look forward to going to Six Flags knowing that one day my huge hiney will be small enough to fit in the seats. Once he got started I realized how silly I was being since my love of food was what got me in this mess to begin with. You are definitely not alone. I think we all go through a phase like this at one point, if not several times. Try to carry around a bottle of Crystal Light, Diet Snapple, etc (something approved by your surgeon). Take a swig everytime you think about it. I guarantee you will get in all your liquid, which will help you feel full and help keep you from focusing on food. Just so you know, as we sit here, my hubby has walked into the room with fish sandwiches - eeeeewwwwwww. I HATE fish! Take care of yourself, and if you ever want to talk, please email me your phone number, and I will be happy to call you. Trier

Trier, Thank you so much for words of wisdom. I also can walk w/o gasping for air or needing to sit and rest. I have a three year old, who at the moment has not made me run after her, though I'm sure it will be easier for me when I need to. And I know EXACTLY what you mean about Six Flags. So, again, thank you for your support. I really needed it. I will Email you my new phone number next week. I would love to chat. Email me your number as well. Thank again!!! Fondly, Lupe

Lupe, Trier is right! We are all going through the "WHY" phase. I think once we get to the food phase (pass the pureed) things will be better. At least that is what I am holding onto. I know that food is not gone forever its just on vacation for a few months. We have a once a month support group too! I think its too big for you to get to know people and be supportive. Its sorta like some of my college classes. I learn a few things in a couple hours but would like to learn more. I am looking into other support groups that would be closer to home and done by other programs. Perhaps there are some around you. I am sorry that smells are getting you sick. That must be really tough. I have only felt ill on a man's cheap cologne in the elevator going to Dr. appointment. I could not wait until he left. Go****s the worst feeling. I did not like cheap cologne before the surgery...its worse now. But that seems to be the only thing bothering me so far. I am sure as I venture out there will be more smells. You can bounce me an email whenever you feel like venting. I hope things get better for you soon.

Debbie, Thank you for your kind words. It really helps to have someone understand what is going on. Our support group lasts an hour and a half and I too need a little more. I'm hanging in there. Thank you for allowing me to vent!! Lupe

Hey there, I think this page is amazing, I am CRYING right now knowing that there are people right now this second knowing what I am feeling like. I am sorry I don't have any helpful or wise words to say but you are not alone. I fell the same way, I had surgery on Thursday 6/24. And I'm okay too. Just feeling very deprived and that makes me really aggressive with my family, who bless there heart are doing the best they can. I know they did not choose this I did, But yesterday we went to the mall to walk around, and my family decided to eat, okay thats fine but my husband "who was not really hungry" so he said "ate 3 dbl Cheeseburgers", even though I was not hungry that was difficult.......I silently felt like he was a PIG. But only for a moment though, I love him so much. And before this surgery I would have not given it a second thought. Keep Up the Hard Work I Believe in my heart it will all be worth it, I guess it just takes time and results to be sure. You are not alone. Good luck. And God Bless Katherine, Tacoma Wa

Katherine, You did have some helpful and wise words to say. Thank you. My family tries to be supportive, but I'm the one not letting them. It's harder than I thought. Then I have great people like you and everyone on this page who know what it feels like. This is making things tons easier. Thank you. God Bless you as well. Lupe

Lupe, I just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I missed food so bad for the first couple weeks but I can honestly say that for the last week or two it just does not even phase me. I'm not hungry at all in my head or my pouch. I eat because I need to. In fact I was in the supermarket today and several things caught my eye that on further inspection I could not eat. I just thought "oh well" and put them back on the shelf. From what I've heard hunger will come back eventually but for right now I am enjoying the fact that it does not bother me a bit not to be able to eat much. Hang in there girl. It will get better. hugs, Tasha

Tasha, I hope I can be as self disciplined as you are really soon. My pouch isn't hungry, but my mind is starving. Thank you for your support. It is God sent people such as yourself who are making me feel better. Hugs to you, Lupe

Hang in there, Lupe. Part of what we are going through is withdrawl from all the pain meds they gave us in hospital. I have not had much problem with food, felling deprived or such, I am enjoying pureed foods that are tasty. But last night I just had the blahs. It's normal. Nancy Lap Rny 6/21/04 Revision 6/23/04 310/304/122