stressed...

Hello all, I need to vent. I have been battling since Oct of last year to get this surgery approved which finally happened June 2, surgery date 6/22/04. Well tonight has been bad, I feel very emotional. My spouse works nights so he isn't here so I thought who better to talk too then you all. I'm 29 with 2 boys, I'm a RN with ICU experience, so I know all to well what can happen with and without this surgery which is one of the biggest things that got me researching this surgery. I didn't want to die young from health problems or end up in a nursing home at an early age unable to care for myself. Ok besides all the normal issues that are bothering me, the kicker right now is my parents backing out on me. They were suppose to come down to help with my kids and all I asked for was help the day of surgery and maybe the day after. Over and over again they told me they were coming and once again they have cancelled on me. Once again meaning they have never, ever been there when I needed them and for some reason it ha**** me hard this time. I thought I had toughened up over the years,but for whatever reason this has caused so many feelings to surface. I just don't understand.... I called my husband at work but he's busy but he said he'll call them tommorow and try to talk them into coming. Part of me wants him to and the other part of me screams no because they weren't their for either of my preganacies which were induced due to complications, or when I was readmitted after delivery due to infection the hospital readmitted my baby as we had no one to help out, I was in the hospital in 2001 for stomach pain for 8 days, they don't work, 50 yrs old, and they brought my kids to the hospital and left them with me after my husband went to work saying they didn't feel like watching them. And I can go on and on.. I just want them to be there for me, for my kids and husband just once, am I asking to much? how can I get past this and just let it go? What is wrong with me? I want to be happy about my surgery date but now I'm really down.. Is this normal?? thanks for listening, and really this isn't like me at all! Michelle 6/22/04 open rny ocala regional Technical Problems? Report Them Here. This site powered by ObesityHelp.com © 2003. All content is copyrighted. No duplication without written permission. All rights reserved.

Hi Michelle!!'Congratulations on your surgery date. I am soo sorry you are depressed. It sucks when parents are non supportive. I have similar issues, sort of. My mom is alcoholic. My (absent) father is a paranoid skitzophrenic and recovering alchoholic/heroin addict. So, needless to say I didn't go into this expecting support from them. I have 8 year old twins and a 3 year old and I Thank the stars for the support of my sisters. I don't know what I would do without them, and this site, the people here are wonderful.If you ever need to chat, look for me on here or you can add me to your messenger @[email protected] or [email protected]. Keep us posted on your progress through your journey. See ya on the other side... Korianne

Michelle, Breathe! It sounds like you really should try to get someone else to take care of the kids. Even if your husband does convince them to come down, you will probably spend most of your time worrying about them and if they are taking care of the kids. Do you have any contacts through where you work or do you belong to a church that can help you out with some short-term childcare? I wish you the best. Just remember that you need to take care of yourself and adding this stress isn't the best for you. Take control of the situation and make some other arrangements. It sounds like it would be best. Good luck! Tina (6-18 RNY and getting nervous myself)

Hello, I can understand waht you are saying with family. Mine could of cared if I was dead or alive. Believe me my in laws were my family. I was caling them daily and my mom-in-law agreed to come out for a week. I was desparate even though I don't have kids, my family has never been there when I needed them. I have been on meds, theropists and trying to figure what I did wrong. Don't blame yourself. If they were not there for your own kids why expect them to be there for you now? Can your husband take care of the kids or hire a Nanny too while you are in the hospital and post op two or three days? You will need the time not to attend to motherhood but yourself. I thought I was going to die before the surgery and everything was fine. Being a nurse remember you must take care of yourself fisrt before you can take care of others. Ask the neighbors or a play group to help out. Or divide the kids up so two or three people don't feel overwhelmed with all the kids. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER THE SURGERY. Best of luck post op two weeks.