going crazy

Everything I do now is SURGERY SURGERY SURGERY! I wake up and think...how many days. I make a list (or consult the list of things I already made) to see what I need to get done in these days. I try to schedule stuff around THAT DAY. I eat thinking...well...this is prob the last time I'll eat that much of that...because of the day. Everyone I talk to...I feel like the only thing I can talk about it THE DAY. I don't feel like 15 mins passes without me thinking about it...stressing about it...feeling NAUSEATED...because of the day. I go to sleep at night and toss and turn before finally falling in to a horrible on and off sleep consumed with dreams about the surgery...in which I might add...some of them are not good dreams. Then it starts all over again. I'm trying to stay busy...I'm just on the worried side. I feel like I'm cleaning out closets thinking...well...I better throw that out or I better make sure so and so knows to get the stuff out of this closet (personal things). Then I think...that is so MORBID!!! I'm gonna jinx myself. Why can't I get this anxiety under control. I've been fine up until this past weekend...and something just came over me. I feel like my friends and family are sick of talking about things so I don't want to hit them with this new feeling of complete doubt and overwhelming freaked outedness. Can somene please tell me I'm normal? You know the Psyc analysis came out that I'm a little neurotic...but other than that fine. THe psychologist said..."that's okay...really everyone is a little neurotic." But I was thinking...I'm not really neurotic. Yeah...right...I'm a textbook case! HELP!!!

I can't really help ya because I the same exact same way.. LOL I just take solace in knowing that you are not alone.. See ya on the losing side Korianne

Dawn, I found myself doing the same sort of thing, expecially alot of "last meals" and having morbid thoughts. What helped fill my time the most, was to weed all my flower beds one last good time, go visit some shut ins from church who needed a pal, and doing some craft projects. Throw yourself into the service of others, help some elderly lady weed her garden, or babysit for a single mom....and it will fill your time, and give you a change of pace from the usual. Maybe you can volunteer work at the local elementary school a few hours a day, or a nursing home, to read or visit with someone. Best of luck on your upcoming surgery....Tracey

cart me off to the looney bin...Because that ALLLL can think about...Everyday I read and read about this surgery...My husband says "if I read anymore about it I should be able to preform the surgery on myself" I CAN"T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!! Surgery date..June 23rd OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE HELP

So glad to know y'all are feeling similar to me. I got out of the house from about 1 P.M. to about a half hour ago 8:00 p.m. and just spent the day hanging out with my family. Took my mind off of things...though I did mention it a couple times. But...guess what...I walk in the door and the first thing I do (after eating dinner) is come to the board to see what more I can CONSUME into my brain about this surgery! UGGGHHHH!!!

I am feeling really normal after reading all of your posts on the pre op days. Time is running out and I still have so much to do. My lists get longer and well shouldn't they be getting shorter right now? My surgery is set for Monday 21st. One minute I am confident the next I am a basket case. I wish you all the best in your new venture!