Family Support???!!!

My surgery date is June 2 My partner initially was all about supporting me in the endeavor. As the days are clicking off, the household tension is almost thick enough to cut with a knife. No real arguing-- more like passive aggressive snippets of sarcasm. Occasionally I get the "you're so selfish" routine. I understand why the tension is present, I just need some or even Thanks everyone for listening. Have a great weekend! Mary

Mary, I too am having problems with family support. My husband is finally coming around a little or actually telling me what his feelings are. He used to just make little snippy comments but now I know that is how he was dealing with his nervousness. My mother-in-law is also making comments that I do not like. Such as, so you are really going to go thru with this? and You know you are not going to be able to eat alot. I felt like saying OH REALLY I HAD NO IDEA!!! I know that they are just concerned but I still don't appreciate the comments. Good luck and I hope things start to get better. Shannon

Hi Mary, Luckily my family supports me...especially since my Mom had the surgery and my Dad is going to. Im single so the next closest person is my best friend. He has been very snippy and often gives the cold shoulder. Ive gotten many comments about how he does not understand why I am doing this. He does not think that I should change at all. We have talked about it many times and he has gotten a little better but he is far from being a cheerleader. Im just hoping then when its all said and done and Im recovering that he can move on and accept the me that is changing. Lisa

Hey Mary, I'm having my surgery 6/1. Husband & friends are all behind me BUT Mother IS NOT. I'm 45, so the descision is mine to make. Sure, I'd love to have her support, but..........she cannot understand why I just don't try the "regular' way to lose..................been there, done that too many times. Prayers are with you. Please email me & we can keep in touch with all our good news. Keep your chin up, positive thoughts. Debbie Kuglar

Write me any time Mary I'll listen and be excited with you! Do this for yourself and everyone that loves you will ajust

Hi Mary! I hear what you are saying. You are doing something wonderful for your health and that deserves many !! My husband and I are both having surgery on June 7. The tension around our house has been rather thick too. He has his anxieties and I have mine. I've been unusually irritable which makes it harder on him. I have to constantly remind myself that he needs my support and positive attitude. Likewise, I need his. This IS a big deal for anyone going through it, and probably really hard for others to see just how much of a big deal it is to that person. The fact is, the changes are big for everyone in the family. And some family members may like things the way they are for the most part. It takes a lot of patience all around. I wish you a safe surgery and a very speedy recovery!

My surgery date is June 23rd and I'm having family issues all of a sudden. My mom and sisters...even some of my friends at the pool have been so supportive of my exercise and other efforts. Now that I have a date, they are making comments. "Too bad we have to go through this because you can't control yourself." "Well, you don't really have to do it...you can just keep going to the pool." I think it is bad enough to be nervous and a little scared because of all the changes that are taking place, but I am very upset at the comments. Personally I do not want to wake up in pain at the hospital and be looking at these people that think I'm a pig. I know this is something I have to do for myself, but with a hospital that is 35 miles from home, I clearly cannot do it on my own. I guess as a big person you get used to letting things slide, but I wish I could find a way to do this without having to deal with the attitudes. It is just very disappointing.

Girlfriend, don't let your family and friends guilt you about this life saving decision. Tell them this is about YOU and not them.........I'm about to blow green goo on the "naysayers!"

Mary, I am with you. I am in the same boat you are in and it is in NO way going to sink. My wife said that she would be there for me throught the whole ordeal but on May 10th after 11 years of marriage, she packed up her stuff and moved out. Just take one day at a time and know that people here are with you and know what you are going through. You can always email or post to anyone of us and we would be happy to talk to you about things if you want. Visit my page and hopefully you can pick up your spirits a little I have quite a few things on my web page that has helped inspire me along the way. God Bless Tom

Dear Mary, Don't let anyone back you away from your decision. My husband is not really happy with me doing this, but I am determined. All my life I have been a people pleaser, much like many overweight people who believe that we have to be fun and jolly. The only one who wasn't happy was me, but I sure looked it. Now it is my turn, and though I am scared to death of what will come, I know that God really does have a plan for me and that he wants to see me happy and I, for one, am going to help him out. Stick to your guns, let no one stop you from doing this for yourself and stand tall and proud. This is something that you do for yourself. Everyone else will fall into step behind you. No one but you walks in your shoes, so they cannot possibly understand. When you get down, look to this website, it helps to know others have made this decision and are so glad they stuck to their guns. Email me anytime. Good luck and God Bless. Debbie