Happy Anniversary to Us!!
06/05/03 - 4:54 pm - Hello my Handsome and Gorgeous AMOS Brothers and Sisters. I wanted to come online and share this with all of you today as tomorrow I will have test in school and will not have a chance to be online. Summer school is 9:40 am - 4:00pm so online time for me is now almost non existent.
Friday-June 6th is my one year WLS anniversary. I am truly blessed of all of the things that I have been through and have accomplished in this year.I started this journey weighing 305 size 28 and am now 170 size 9/10(depending on how clothes are made). Never did I think that WLS would work fr me. I just knew that I would be the one that WLS did not work. I should say I knew I would be the one to out eat WLS. I now work out 6 days a week for two hours( one hour treadmill and one hour weights)I now have my personal trainer certification as of May 16, 2003 and could go work in a gym and train others if I wished to at this time(don't won't to until excess skin is removed). I am also a fulltime pre-nursing college student. Those are all things that would not have been possible at my pre op weight for me.
I have gained self-esteem and self-respect, and most importantly I have learned to love myself and give back to others. I have learned to open up my heart and my mind. Many years I kept my heart and soul bottled up out of fear that people would not like me if they really got to know who I was. I was a wounded soul. I was filled with rage and did not want anyone close to me out of fear that they would sense my shame of all of the things I have endured throughout my life. Some things I was shameful about were things that were not my fault and were done to me at a young age, but some were my fault and for years the shame and hatred for myself weighed me down and made me cold.
I was at an all time high when I decided to pursue weight loss surgery 1/02. Those of you who know my story know that 1/02 I attempted suicide as I was at my all time highest weight and was filled with hatred for myself and life. God and my family was able to reach within me and change my train of thought (with the help of counseling too) and save my life. I would never wish that kind of darkness on anyone. I was so low emotionally that I saw no way out and felt that death was my only option I urge anyone who is suffering the way I did to seek help. There is no reason for you to go through that alone.
I do not take anything for granted now. I cherish every moment that I am given to live another day and to live a good life. It feels good being able to wake up and breath, feel, love,and share with my fellow peers. I no longer feel the need to hide from people anymore. I no longer have the constant pain I had before emotionally. I now realize that anything is possible for me to obtain. I expect the best and settle for nothing because I am worthy of the best. I am whole again.
Dr.McCarty is responsible for giving me this tool that I used to turn everything around for me. Without your capable hands and the wonderful WLS program at Baylor I would have been lost. You have touched my life in a way that I do not think you are aware of. I have no way to show you just how much I appreciate you, but everyday I live and breath I shout your name out to anyone who will listen to me. Thank you for a new lease on life. I hope you all know how much you mean to me and how much your help along the way has really helped me out. I LOVE YOU ALL.
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