Making Small Decisions

I have made major decisions about my life in the past year or 2.  I decided to retire early because I was afraid I would not live till regular retirement age;  I moved to another state to a home in the mountains on a lake which was a long time dream; I decided to have WLS and continue with my quest for a new way of life.  Now, after 3 months out from surgery, I have neglected to make the smaller decisions that prepare me for day to day life in recovery.    For example, over a week ago, I joined a health and fitness club but have not scheduled a session on my personal calendar since the original appointment with the trainer.  I have been designing some new cards and journals, but have not taken them to the stores that sell them, even though I have driven right past them with the items on the car seat next to me.  I have thought of some ways to reorganize a couple of my closets including getting rid of old clothes that no longer fit but have not put the ideas into action.  I still have the protein drink containers, new food ingredients and equipment, supplements, etc. on the kitchen counter rather than replacing inappropriate foods with the new healthier items in the cabinets.    All of these things are indications to me that I have not fully embraced my new way of life, and that, perhaps, I am preparing to lapse back into failure rather than jumping whole heartedly into the new lifestyle.  Now that my eyes have been opened, I plan to put these things into my daily plans.  I am making the decision to act on these 4 items starting today.  I will pray for the willingness to be willing to start reorganizing my daily life into a more permanent pattern of good spiritual, physical, and emotional health.  And just for today, I will be willing to be abstinent and positive and grateful.

You took the first major step, you admitted to yourself that you are not competely embracing your new lifestyle.  There is something Ellen that is holding you back, that is keeping you wanting to continue to self-sabotage. Try to figure it out and get it out of the way.  You deserve to be healthy, happy, and its time to do it!  You can do this!

Well said Kelly S....She is right Ellen......Im not a big fan of medication, but I do believe there are people who need some "help" with being depressed, anxity or whatever it may be.... Maybe you should talk with your Dr and let them know... There are so many out there nowadays that are very mild, and have very few side affects and will just help you be balanced...You sound like a woman of faith and that is the upmost important also..Pray they he will guide you down this path..be confident in yourself...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!  THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!!! Good luck and God Bless!