So many mixed feelings.......

Hey all Maysters...... I hope everyone is praying for the warm weather to get here and STAY!!!! Today is one of the days that I have chosen to check my weight for the week. Well of course it is up a pound from the weigh on Sunday......but...... I am so sorry that I put all this on you......I went and plugged my weight into one of those projection charts.....and it tells me I am about 9 pounds off schedule. So does this mean I am failing? Or am I just a slow loser? I am the first to admit that I am nowhere perfect at post-op life. Excerise has been very sparse right now with all the crappy weather. Really good about my protein, and trying to stick to water all the time. The peeps didn't get me at Easter, but the chocolate did. So that is now gone from the house....burnt it with the trash yesterday!!! I just cannot accept that I have lost 96 pounds.....and feel wonderful......I still say to myself that I have yet to hit my Century Club mark. I am so afraid that when I see the Dr. for my 1 year check up that I will have let her down. Why is it that there are days we feel like we are on cloud 9, and others, we are battling the flames of Hell? I so wish that I had someone near me that really understands what we go through.....my Husband is going looney from dealing with me!!!!!! I wish I could get myself to really ACCEPT that we all lose at a different rate....and that everyones "normal" weight is different. I want to be normal!!!!! But never a chance of that!!!!! Will I still lose more after my 1 year mark or will I be done? Ok....I have rambled enough.... Everyone have a beautiful day......and look forward to getting caught up with everyone!!!!!

Holly, You've lost 96 POUNDS!!!!! It's incredible!!! Sometimes I think we all make WAY too big a deal about hitting the -100 mark. It's cool but, still. To me, the most important thing is that we're losing all this weight and, for the first time in our adult lives, we're HEALTHY! Don't put too much faith in that loss projection thing. I was never close on that scale. You're not failing. How can you think you've failed being 96 POUNDS less than you were this time last year? When is the last time you've lost that kind of weight in LESS than 11 months? You've done an incredible job. Crappy weather certainly defeats those of us who prefer to walk over going to the gym. Susie and I started walking and, though we're freezing our butts off, I'd rather be speed walking in the park with my best friend than working out at a gym. Yup, I'm still paying my monthly membership and don't go. LOL Walking is more fun to me. Acceptance is hard for all of us. We're soooooooooooo used to being put down by "small/normal" sized people that, we fail to realize we ARE normal sized now. Mark can't understand why I can't "see" me. I've been overweight since birth. You think in this short amount of time I can "see" the me they see? Heck no. Take each day as it comes. Don't look back and don't look forward. Just concentrate on TODAY. You ditched the chocolate. Good girl!!! You're doing well on your protein. You're trying to get the fluids in. So where's your failure? Just that you haven't hit -100? If I were there I'd smack you in your ever-decreasing butt. You're gonna do fine. Just keep doing what you know you have to do. These long-term stalls SUCK but they do break. I have a friend who just celebrated two years out and she's STILL losing. So, just hang in there! Please get it through your skull you ARE doing great!!! I'll be back on YIM soon. Things are NUTS here in the office. LOL TTYS! * Cyndi *

Cyndi...good to hear from you. Glad things are keeping you busy for the business also. I have printed out your kind words and they are in my planner for future reference......talk soon!!!!! Love, Holly

Just hang in there, I am a slow looser as well, I just have to be patient, the weight will come off. At least that is what everyone tells me. By the way were did you find the prediction chart? Good luck it will happen, we just have to wait.

i know, and I am not the most patient person in the world!!!!! I found the prediction chart by clicking on my surgeons name...in my avatar and it took me to her forum, where it gave me the option of plugging my numbers in.....hope this helps you find it. Thanks, Holly

Thanks, I know what you mean. I told my mother when the good Lord was passing out patients I must have been in another line. I went to the site and it says I am on track, but I don't like that according to it I should only loose about another 5-10 pounds. I was thinking I should get down to about 160, but according to that I should get to about 195, that stinks. But I will keep on and maybe prove that table wrong. Good luck

My god, Holly! I could've authored this post! Feeling the same way as you. I have lost 95 lbs and it has seemed sooooooo slow! The charts say I am 3 lbs shy of where I am expected to be. My 1 yr. check up is April 15th (6 weeks before my surgiversary). I really wanna lose that last 5 before my 1 yr. mark to reach ceturian status, but I dunno anyomore. I get very frustrated with myself and jealous of everyone who's ahead of me...like it's a race or something! Here's a good quote for us to remember: "Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but adopting that of another, you have only an extemporaneous half possession. Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson American Poet Take care of you, April

April... Glad to hear from you..... This weekend was horrible...I ate like a pig.....just grazed all the time. I am 10 pounds off according to the charts.....and still have yet to get the Century Mark. I go to the Dr. for my 1 year appointment May 16th.....hope I have it by then. Just feel so blah today...trying to keep myself busy and push the fluids.....Talk very soon!!!!! Love,Holly

Hi Holly, OK, scratch all that you wrote and start over. * You LOOK great! * Do you feel as good as you now look? I think so! * You can fit into a size what now? Cool! * You medical complications are drastically reduced and in most cases gone! So please explain to me how this adds up to any kind of failure? The 100 lb mark is not a goal - it is merely a milestone and only one of so very many. You are on a journey and in it for the long haul. Relax and enjoy the journey! So you are not as "fast" as the next person? That's because you stopped to smell the roses along the way. But it didn't end your journey, just made it more leisurely. Here in the South we just call that...a way of life. I'll betcha a million dollars (in Monopoly money of course) that if you stop worrying about it, relax and focus on other things, that you will remember to weigh yourself one day and realize you've started losing weight again and passed that 100 lb mark. Kind of like when you are in bed and become aware of your breathing or heartbeat. Then you can't think about anything else because trying not to think about it only makes you think about it more. But eventually you get distracted and fall asleep. Same principle at work here. As long as you obsess over the 100 lb mark it will be a difficult target. Stop racing to the goal and enjoy the scenery for a bit and see what happens. There's a lot to enjoy now and, what the hell, you've earned it! -- T.Rob