FINALLY update my profile--LONG =)

Okay...i hadn't updated my profile (except pictures) since 7 weeks-post op. I decided to go ahead and update it tonight.....................and it turned out to be looooong. LOL. So I copied and pasted it here---in case anyone cares to read it. I know a few of you have been bugging me to do it~! It's 2:40 a.m....and I had nothing better to do! =) Okay--so i've been slacking on updating my page.......but there are many pictures to show my progress! I was watching the biggest loser tonight...and it really made me start thinking about my journey so far. I feel like I've accomplished so much in 4 months.............it's pretty surreal. I've lost 91 lbs since my surgery.........and I'm hoping to lose 9 more by October 24th. I'm going to Disney World with my family, and I really want to have met my goal to be a century club member by then. I have a month to lose 9 lbs...........I think that's a pretty attainable goal. As far as what has changed for me in the last 4 months, I can't even begin to count it all. One of the biggest things for me is that I can walk by a mirror in the mall or department store while I'm shopping--------and not think "Oh MY...I can't BELIEVE I'm that huge". I used to get dressed and leave my house, and never think I looked as big as I did. I guess that's why they say "A picture is worth a thousand words". I never realized how much I completely avoided full body shot pictures. Not too long ago I was going through all of my TONS of pictures, and I could not find any full body shots. I used to take pictures of myself all the time........but they were head shots and that's it! My head has still not caught up with my body--but I'm starting to notice changes. I still question whether or not I will fit in chairs or booths..........but 99% of the time I do fit, and I have room to spare! I've been worried about these things for YEARS--so it's taking me a long time to comprehend that I actually can fit in most normal chairs now. What a great feeling that is! I went to Michigan last month with my sister, and by habit, I took along my trusty seatbelt extender...............only to find out I didn't need it at all! I could buckle the seatbelt and even had a little bit of slack. Amazing. I started working out at curves back in August---and at my first "measurement day" in September....I had lost a total of 28.5" in one month. That to me is crazy~! We also have an eliptical machine at home now...which kicks my you-know-what...and I use the "Walk Away the Pounds" DVDS--they're great! Tonight while I was watching the biggest loser---about 1/2 way through it I decided to get up and get on the eliptical during the commerical breaks. Before surgery--I would've laughed at the thought!!! I bought a shirt a couple weeks ago that was a size 18/20 and it fit me. I haven't worn an 18/20 top since 9th grade. Oh yeah, and I can cross my legs!!!!! Granted, it's not the most dainty sight in the whole world....but it can be done! I can tie my shoes without feeling like someone is suffocating me. My scrubs are FALLING off of me. And the best thing so far............my boobs aren't shrinking!! LOL---sorry guys...TMI I'm sure! I was worried about that though........I'm a big girl--and I was only a C cup to start! So the fact that i'm going down in inches around and not in cup size is great! =) Lets hope that doesn't change................ As for food...........................I'm doing okay. I feel like I'm lacking in protein on a lot of days, but I'm trying. I read food labels on EVERYTHING. I'm proud of that. I try to eat lean meats, low fat dairy, and veggies. I don't eat bread at all. I rarely eat any kind of pasta or rice..I NEVER drink carbonated drinks (not even diet), never drink juice or sweetened drinks, and I drink regular iced tea with sweet n low---no Sweet Tea for me! I The best part of it........I don't miss those things! I'm sooo thankful for that. I was a Dr Pepper and Sweet Tea-aholic before my surgery. I can honestly say I don't think I'll ever drink another coke or Dr Pepper--Hallelujah! I don't eat sweets..........except for the occasional Low Fat NSA ice cream (1/2 cup maximum), 100 calorie pack cookies/graham crackers ****asionally), or FF/SF pudding. The nice thing is that these things satisfy me. I went to a birthday party and ate 1/2 of a Low Fat NSA ice cream sandwich--and didn't even sneak 1 bite of cake. Cake used to be my weakness! My roommate has some 100-calorie pack cupcakes in the pantry, and they don't even bother me. I do crave things sometimes...and sometimes I will give in to the temptations. However, what's different is that I don't stuff myself full of pizza and hamburgers anymore. I remember for about a month after surgery...every single time I drove past Whataburger, Sonice, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Wendy's, etc.........I felt like I wanted to scream or cry. I wanted a double cheeseburger and a Dr Pepper SO BAD. Now, I never think about those things. Sometimes it grosses me out to see other people eating them. Wow, what a change. If I do decide to try something I "shouldn't have"...I eat it--I own up to it..........and usually I leave it alone after that without it haunting me. I get right back on track after that. That's the beauty of this tool. In the past....if I would've "cheated" on a diet---I usually just let that be a gateway for me to go back to my old ways. Since my surgery, if I make a mistake...I hold myself accountable for what I've done and go right back to what I should be doing. A 1/2 cup of NSA ice cream never made me fat to start with....what made me fat was eating fast food EVERYDAY---SUPER-SIZED WITH A LARGE DR PEPPER. That's what did it. Also--I feel like I've shut myself off from guys for a really long time. I never let them in...because I always felt like they had other intentions. I felt like there's no way a good guy could possibly want to date someone as fat as me. I always felt pretty................as in a pretty face. I just never felt physically attractive. I've discovered that even though I'm nowhere close to where I want to be---that I'm finally really craving a relationship. I feel like everything else is in order. I'm getting healthier by the day...I feel/look better everyday....I have a solid career...........now I need a husband! LOL All in all, I feel like this is the best thing that could've possibly happened to me. As long as I recognize and never forget where I came from...and how I got there. I am confident that this new tool is exactly what I always needed. I know I'll never go back to where I once was. Thank you to everyone on OH...and all of my family and friends for always supporting me and never giving up on me. THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Courtney, I'm so darned proud of you. I'm sitting here in tears because I'm so happy for you!!! You are absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out, and any guy would be blessed to have you in his life. Don't rush for the "husband" thing though. You're doing such a great job! We're all so proud of you! And, uh, how about updating the profile a little more often for us. Have a great day! * Cyndi *

Aww thanks Cyndi! I'll try to update it more often............It just always seems to slip my mind! You're doing awesome too..........you're an inspiration to all of us Mayers! Courtney

You go GIRL!! Very well said I know can so identify with what you have been through and where your going! I too used to be a fast food junky! Loved it! lets hope we never give in to that again! Hugs, Rebecca

WOW! WOW! WOW! I'm so happy for you and you are so pretty. You will have no trouble finding the right guy. Keep up the good work! I LOVE MY TOOL! Hugs! Sue