Feelings after reading replys to another post......

LOL Cyndi about April and being stressed!!!! I look back now and I laugh just like someone on this board said I would..... I was so afraid up until they knocked me out for surgery. I have GOD on my side that provided me with a Wonderful skilled surgeon----should there have ever even been any doubt??????LOL I do look back at how stressed I was and how much I cried and LOL. But I do still look at life different since the surgery---maybe because I really became "aware" of the reality of dying. I noticed the other day while I was driving everything around me the trees, birds, how blue the sky was with all the fluffy clounds the other cars around me--my kids in the back seat laughing and I just thought to myself I want more of this-----to appreciate everthing that I see everyday but never think about......My body is changing but I need to free my soul-----I have been a prisioner within myself for so long that I became very angry and I have forgotten how to live and be free. I dont have my life long friend (food) to hide behind anymore so now I am having to deal with all these thoughts and emotions. It is hard sometimes but I gotta get pushing forward----no turning back now!

Carol, you are doing great! I met someone here on OH who lives in my town. She has a consult with my surgeon in a few weeks. She is TERRIFIED. I think, unfortunately, "death" is played up WAY too much when it comes to this surgery. Shoot, I had two nosejobs and was put under. Why wasn't I terrified to die then? Because no one kept drilling into my head that I could die. *I* knew I wouldn't die from this surgery but the dumb-butt I married kept doing the "what ifs". My surgeon finally drilled into his thick skull that I WOULDN'T die. How would that make him look as a surgeon? It is funny though how things change. I'll be flying on Aug. 19th. It's going to be so weird to be comfortable in a plane seat! I pulled out my bike yesterday. It felt so good to ride it a little. Now if I could just convince my kid to learn to ride hers. My best pal wasn't food. Honestly, I didn't eat that much. My body was in starvation mode! My IBS had kept me a prisoner. That's all gone thank goodness. Sure I miss certain foods. But, putting yet another hole in my belt this morning was worth much more than a few french fries. There's such a wonderful life ahead for all of us!!!!! Just keep enjoying it!!!! * Cyndi *

Carol, that is how I feel....from the day I work up from surgery I can not explain how I feel.....it is a high I can't explain.....an instance new outlook on life! Add to that the fact I can feel the years added to my life if that makes since. By the way did you get my PM about the pics. Donna