Why is it that ONE person can make you feel bad?

Hi friends, My friend owns a Mexican Restaurant that I helped get started and now I help out from time to time. Today I went in and EVERYONE said, wow, Esther you have lost so much weight, it really shows. I was walking on cloud 9 and feeling sooooo good. Then this girl comes in that works the evening shift and everyone says, doesn't Esther look good and she looked me up and down and said, "She doesn't look like she has lost anything". Now I feel like I don't look any better and I am feeling bad about myself again. It ****** me off that one lousy person can do that to me when 10 others said I looked great. All the wonderful comments went out the window after this negative person made that rude comment. I hope none of you are as sensitive as I am. It upsets me that I am allowing her to upset me. Should I call her and tell her that was rude? Help, Hugs, Esther

Ok Friends, I called her and said, do I really look like I haven't lost any weight at all? She said, Esther you are very fat and it will take a lot of weight off before you will look like you lost any. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I just told her that she was rude and hung up. That is not like me to do that but people like that you can't reason with. Just sharing.

First off HOW RUDE of her. I come from the belief if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Don't let her bring you down because the truth of the matter is you HAVE lots a lot of weigh and it would be impossible not to notice it if they know you at all! Quick story (sorry, I'm not trying to take away from you) it was a week or so ago and all my family had been telling me how I have lost weigh then my Sister in law aka good friend who never asks how I'm doing or anything like that says I think you might have lost some weigh in your shoulders! I didn't know what to say. I mean at least she said she thought I lost weight but in my shoulders, that felt like I think your big toe is smaller. It was the lowest compliment I could have gotten and I would have rather her say nothing. As you can tell it still bothers me but I too need to let this go. There will always be people who try and make all the hard work worth nothing. Hold your chin up and say I'm sorry your so rude and feel this way. I know your wrong I have lost 40+ pounds and it just go to show you never paid any attention to me to begin with! Put it back on her! I have been taking pictures of myself every weekend and I KNOW I look different. My clothes are falling off so look for things in your life that have gotten better and focus on that. Maybe you need to start taking pictures every week or 2 or monthly even! ~Hugs~ Rebecca

Hi Rebecca, I know what you mean, people don't understand what a struggle it has been for us and you are right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. What makes me mad is that I have the proof that shows on the scale and in the measurements and I see my clothes getting baggy and yet one skinny rude woman can take all that away with a comment. I have to keep realizing that this particular person is rude to everyone, not just me. She is having marital problems and hates life, so I am just one more person to bash to make herself feel better. The problem is that when someone does that to me, they are wiped off my list of friends because I never would do that to anyone and I don't want to associate with people who hurt others. Thank you for being such a good friend and understanding. You are doing great and we will be skinny someday and look-in good! Love ya, Esther

Just give yourself more time Esther. You are in control and don't let anyone take any of your enthusiasm away. If you stay focused and then you reach your goal, that loser won't have anything to say. That person won a battle with you temporarily...now go out and win the war. You can do it...YOU ARE DOING IT. Later on you may feel like saying.... John

Hi John, I know as time passes and I lose more weight it will really show and this skinny rude woman will see it but I am more mad at myself then at her for letting her get to me. That's okay.....I am going to win in the end WE ALL ARE! Love ya, Esther

Sometimes the only way others can feel good about themselves is to put others down. Hang in there. You are a great person and will reach your goals.

Whoa!!! Why did you call her?? She clearly said that to make you feel bad on purpose.....calling her to ask her if she really meant it only gives her more power. Ignore her! You're doing great!!! -Mel

Esther, she is BEYOND being rude. Maybe she's jealous. Maybe she's just a natural-born ass. Don't give anything she says a second thought. Unfortunately there are jerks in the world and we have to deal with them every day. You have lost a LOT of weight and we're all so proud of you. It's funny because my mom's side is all petite and thin. Here I am the 5'7" giant and I've been put down by that side (mainly my cousins) my entire life. When their kids started to treat my then 3-yr-old like she didn't belong, that was it. I grabbed my baby and haven't been to a family event in 7 years. So, fast forward. My mom's younger sister knows about my surgery only because my husband has a big mouth. No one else on that side knows and, frankly, it's none of their business. *Maybe* I'll attend something after I hit goal. But, they'd just find something else nasty to put me down with. There are some people in this world who matter and some who don't. This nasty, rude person surely DOESN'T. Like everyone else said, ignore her. Just remember that the others DO see what you've lost and that's much more important! * Cyndi *

Hi Cyndi, Sounds like we have similar backgrounds. My mother's side of the family are petite little lettuce eaters. They are 5 ft. 3 and under and in the low 100's. My dad was 6 ft. 5 and over 300 and his whole family are like that and unfortunately, I got their genes. I am 5 ft. 11 in and was 372 at one point. I am now around 236 and my dream is to be under 200 for once in my life and I will get there someday...... You are beautiful Cyndi and when you reach your goal, you doll up and knock their socks off. That's my plan too! My mom's side of the family would always say, "if you would jus****ch what you eat, you wouldn't have a problem". They don't have a clue. I just guess there are natural-born asses in this world. Thank Heaven we have each other and we will win the race Love ya, Esther