Strange feelings

T. Rob, Everything you said is very true and makes total sense. I get more enjoyment out of the anticipation then I do out of the event itself. I have done this for years so I shouldn't be surprised that I feel like this. I felt the same way after the birth of my son, don't get me wrong the birth of my son was the most amazing thing ever but when it was over I felt the same since of lose. As far as other people go I can already tell my relationships are changing. People that I really enjoyed hanging out with I just don't seem to have the same connection with. My best friend is a larger gal and she has already told me that "Since I'm taking the easy way out then I need to help her lose weight" I didn't really know what to say and since then we have both been going our own way. We talk now and then but its not the same. I have felt she didn't really support me from the begging and thats ok. I knew going into this i would probable lose the friendship as I know it now. I'll always love her she is my SIL but its just different and thats ok. I know your right that people find value in themselves by reflection off others. Thank you for your post and don't worry it wasn't to long Rebecca