Strange feelings

The other day I went to my surgeon's office to pick up a script and when I was leaving I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Talk about a strange feeling. I am sad that the big day is over, the excitement the wondering. I dreamed about that day for so long that now I am sad its over. Am I crazy or what! Does anyone else feel like this? ~Hugs~ Rebecca

Well I am not sad, it just seems surreal. I keep finding myself saying, "I can't believe I had the surgery".

Hi Rebecca, I have been going through the same thing. The excitement and waiting were terrifying but thrilling at the same time. Then the surgery day and recovery when everyone shows you attention and now it's over and we are back to normal without the support of eating whatever we want. You are not crazy....I get so sad sometimes and wish I could start all over. The worst part for me is that I keep hearing from people that they know someone who had this surgery and gained all their weight back. I don't know if they are jealous that I am losing and just want to make me feel bad or trying to set me up to fail but I really understand what you are going through. Hugs my friend Esther

Easter, I'm not sure why people feel the need to share all the bad experiences with us. It doesn't help. Thank you for posting and letting me know I"m not crazy LOL. I'm happy to hear your doing so well! Rebecca

Well Rebecca, WE ARE NOT GOING TO FAIL.....we are losers and we will reach our goals. I don' think as many people would be having this surgery if that many gained their weight back. So, don't feel bad because we are all here for you. Hugs, Esther

Well, honey.............. You can't start over................. Remember those feelings of panic?? lol What we all have to be a part of is encouraging others to get to "Their day"........ That keeps the excitement alive and going ............. "Pay It Forward".. .............. because.................you know that someone on this site either helped you make the decision to choose the surgery.....helped you learn more about the surgery so that you could choose, or helped you get to that life altering day................ OH is the ultimate site that has changed all of our lives in some way....even if it is just finding other people who understand you, your thoughts, or will support you and answer questions when you need them to.................. I thank God every day for this site and the very special people I have discovered here................ That makes every day special for me, .......giving back!! "Cause, once we get to this side................it's not about wishing and hoping............we have to work for it.............. Hey............... What have I always said?? May babies are the best!! Love ya Karen

Haven't had the surgery yet, but my process went so smoothly and quickly, that I am like "I can't believe that I am here".... And I can really relate to the post about the people tallking about the weight gain back! I took notice that these people making those comments were either unhappy in their own life, overweight themselves, or as you said, just plain jealous. I say let our lives speak for the truth of what we will do, and ignore the negative thinkers and commentors! Thanks for the thoughts!

It is true; everyone can gain their weight back. If you make the decision to work at it and make the swtich to the life-changing habits, you won't. For each of the successful people there has to be one who is not successful. That is simply what statistics are all about. I for one intend to make the changes I need to make this life-long change. Everyone takes weight off the first 6 months to a year. After that, your success depends TOTALLY on you and what you have done to prepare for success. In the late 1980's I was a normal weight for 5 years of my life and I can tell you that nothing I've experienced since that time has come close to those days of my life. We didn't swallow a magic pill as all of you know, we just have a chance again to be in the same playing field as the thin people of the world. Read the successful profiles and learn from their experiences; there is a wealth of knowledge here at OH. Having taught school for 6 years, I can tell you that most (note - I did not say all) of the kids that do poorly in school do not choose to do poorly. They simply fail to make that choice to be successful. Some of them I've been successful at helping them turn the corner. Others REFUSE to take that leap. ...and that is my editorial on success. May YOUR personal journey be successful. As a group, we are in charge of the statistics of success. We could almost all be winners. John

Hi John, I really enjoyed your response to this post. You sound just like me a couple of weeks ago. I also believe that it is me who is going to be responsible for my own success or failure with wls. I see that you are ready to take the plunge yourself, and I want to wish you all the best. Joyce P.S. I am also a teacher!

Rebecca, Ahhh, yes. Welcome to the other side. This is what I call the "psychological Doppler effect." This is something that seems to happen with any big event. Anticipation rises like an approaching train whistle. Then the event comes and goes and emotions taper off like a receding train whistle. The bigger the event, the longer the rise time, the greater the fall afterward. Actually, it's racing season so make that an approaching/receding race car. But unlike most calendar events, this one has a lot more emotional baggage piled on. To some extent we all have things we stop ourselves from doing because of our weight. "I'd go to the beach if only I were thinner." "I'll buy that new suit when I'm thinner." Emotionally, that threshold is the day of surgery. Logically we know it will take time to lose the weight, but emotionally the surgery is the switch that gets flipped to enable all those years and years of deferred plans. But then reality hits and the right and left brains must reconcile to reality. It's the same life we left and we have to pick up right where we left off. We need to defer those plans a little longer. But then...over days...weeks...months...the WOW moments start coming. The milestones get passed. You WILL replace that feeling of sadness with something new - accomplishment, victory, triumph! And not just one big event that comes and goes but daily victories that will sustain you and give you a reason to smile, even on the worst days when everything else has turned to crap around you. As far as the negative people go, remember that your size has always been a factor their relationship with you. Depending on how big a factor, changing your weight might change the relationship dramatically. Many thin people face the same low self-esteem problems as big folks often do. Frequently they reassure themselves that "well, at least I'm not fat." If this is the case, your success equates in their mind to their own failure. Same thing if they have a plus-size friend to go clubbing with who makes them look good (at least in their own eyes) by comparison. Losing weight threatens that balance. There are hundreds of scenarios here but the thing they all share is that the other person judges themselves more by how others see them than by principles such as honesty, integrity and loyalty. Everyone around them is a mirror within which they see themselves reflected. They tend to keep the people around who give them the acceptance and approval they seek. And even though your behavior toward them may not change, the mirror they see themselves in has or will change. There are also many people who dream about a better life but never act on those plans. They feel trapped. When other people make that next step and actually take action and improve their life, this reminds them of how trapped they are. They know that blaming it on the rest of the world is an excuse and inside they feel like that much more of a failure. Hopefully anyone who is threatened by the changes you are making in your life will get over it. If it is someone you value, give them some time and slack to make the adjustment. Just remember that how you feel about yourself is NOT dependent on others. You have your own standards based on principles and those values do not change like the weather. Are you honest, trustworthy, loyal, hard working? Does being obese diminish any of those? No. Does losing weight diminish any of those? Hell, no. In fact the steps you've taken enhance those qualities. You set a goal to improve your life and health and achieved it - you had the surgery. You have set other life-improving goals and are on the way to achieving them. No matter what someone else says, that defines a winner. Sorry for the long post. I guess I got carried away. -- T.Rob