I feell all alone I need help

I feel so stupid, and alone. I had my weight lost surgery in 2004 and went from a size 26 to 16 now I am back up to 20. I am afraid. I don't know how to get back on track. I know how I gained the weight, even though I am married with 2 children i still feel alone and when I get upset or mad I eat. I will even eat when i feel full. Why do I do that. The only time I spend time with my husband is on Sunday's and he always wants to go out to eat. I 've told him we could do other things but he doesn't listen. I feel embrassed to go to the meetings at St Agnes. What do I do. I wish there was a person I can call when I get in thoses moods to help me put down the other half of the sandwich that I know the only reason I am eating it is because I am lonely. Some please help me.

Oh Tara...I am so sorry for you. Please know you are not alone and there are others out there in your same situation. I personally just had surgery last week...and I can already tell this will be a lifelong struggle for me to keep the weight off. It's not magic like some people say...you do have to work at it. The only advice I can really give is probably what you already know. Take your vitamins, increase your protein, decrease your complex carbs and fat (and portion size), increase your fluids, and exercise. Do all of the things you did when you first had surgery. It won't be as easy now that you are two years out--but it can be done. Believe in yourself!!!! Have you ever considered therapy for your emotional eating issues?? I know this has worked for a lot of people. You have to learn how to replace the food with something else that is constructive and beneficial to you. Therapy can teach you some cool techniques to change your way of thinking when it comes to food. It's not going to be easy.....in fact, it's going to be really hard. But I believe you can do it. You still have your "tool"...it is not gone..........you just have to relearn how to use it. Good luck girl. Hang in there. Courtney

Hi Tara, You have all my sympathy, sweetheart! I completely understand. I lost 100 pounds, went from a size 26W down to a 16W. I'm back up to a 20W also. I hate excercise and was never faithful to it. I think my main problem is I SNACK like crazy. I love crunchy things and snack late at night. I know the only theing that will change this is ME and nothing else. You're right - it's NOT a magic wand surgery! No one said you CAN eat the things that make you sick at first months and months after surgery!!! I could drink an entire COKE if I wanted to, but I DON'T because I'm diabetic and I have horrible gas pains. I wish I had an answer for you, other than the one that the other girl just posted. It's only going to be reduce the carbs/sugar and lots of excercise, drink lots of water. That's it! God bless an good luck!!! Joyce

Tara, Hang in there and don't give up. Have you checked with your surgeons office to see if they offer any classes on getting back on track. My surgeon here in Indiana offers a class called "Back on Track". You might also want to meet with a nutritionist and see if they can help you get back to the right way of eating. But first and foremost, don't quit on yourself. If we give up then we go back to the way we were. Look at this as a wake up call to yourself. Tell yourself, "I love me and I won't let myself go back to being unhealthy". Don't think of your self as a "loser" think of your self as a "loser" in the good way. This was a lapse, turn it around. You can do it!!!!!!!!! We are here for you. Do you have anyone close to you who can help you out and give you the support you need? If not we will try to help you out. I have not been banded yet, hoping for a date soon. But I know I will be looking to my friends here to help me out. There's no better support than people who can understand and have been there. Pauletta Mtowngirl

Hi Tara, I agree with what others wrote but I'm going to address something you wrote at the end. I COMPLETELY understand using food to fill lonliness. I too have a husband and child. Before we had our daughter my husband was deployed to Iraq. I was bored at our home by myself, anxious about him being over there, mad he had to go, guilty for feeling that way, and most of all lonely. Food became even more of a friend. I had already been heavy but I ballooned when he was overseas fighting in the war. All I can tell you is to fight it. Try to talk to your husband...really talk...privately, in a quiet room, and tell him how you feel. Tell him you are alone (is it work schedules? or why are you only spending one day together?)-see if you can make more time together, or at least a date night) Tell him you feel alone and need to talk to him as the best friends that you should be. If you have a good marriage and he values your emotions and opinions he really should be open to this. If he's not I would go and seek someone that can help you through this such as a therapist. There is no shame in that. I went to talk to a therapist when my husband was in Iraq. I found the basis of my overeating actually stemmed from a sexual assault...apparently I overate as a control factor, and the control was taken from me in the rape, eating is something I can control in all aspects, what I eat, how often I eat, where I eat, etc). If he is willing, ask him to join you on a few sessions when you feel comfortable you have determined what your trigger is. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on what your trigger is...now all you have to do is the hard part, try to change it and find other means to deal with them. I am newly post op, 8 days actually, and I'm scared about regaining in the future too, but with help here we will do great. If you need to talk PM me anytime. Remember you are worth fighting for...don't feel embarrassed for going to meetings because that's what they are there for. (I am assuming you mean weight loss support group meetings).

Tara, you are definitely not alone!!! We have all been through ups and downs. At least you recognize your problem, that is the first step. Now, dust yourself off and get back on track. We all know the "tool" we have been given will not work by itself. You have to work it!!! You can do it, you did it once. ~~Betsy

I want to thank everyone for there heartfelt response to my postings. I am a sensitive person and it brought tears to my eyes to have people that I don't know give me such encouragement. I need to take it one day at a time . I do know why I overeat and I will try my hardest to stop myself. I all know that my husband and I need to talk. Working full time and then coming home to take care of the kids, husband and home is another full time job, which I love. But since I was a child I always did things for everyone else and put myself last or forgetting about myself period. I have to learn how to take care of myself . A special note to J. S. I went through the same thing when I was in the 3rd grade, but I never thought that that may be behind my over eating. I will take your advice. Thank you ladies I feel much better and I know it will be a struggle and I am glad that I have everyone behind. Thank you.

Tara, my heart goes out to you, too. You are so right that you need to learn to take care of yourself!!! That was a problem for me too, always leaving me for last. I wouldn't have anything left to give and food helped me feel better. I have tried to accept that I deserve care and nurturance, too. I know I have the love and support of my family but until you love and accept yourself "warts and all" it's hard to believe you are worthy of love. YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Jean