The FINAL preparations....

Ok, so has anyone else had this feeling that they need to get their FINAL wishes, requests, paperwork, etc finished and written down before their surgery? What I mean is I have written individual letters to my husband, 20 month old daughter, parents, and brother basically telling them all how much I love them, the reasons I went this route with getting my weight under control (just in case I don't make it). I know it's looking at the negative aspect of the surgery but I feel that I need to be responsible and leave my loved ones with something because there is always that risk of death. It's scary and I can tell you I bawled (hard) while writing all of them. I wrote down my wishes on life support, etc. I also updated my will because I don't want anyone feeling left out. It would be horrible not being included in taking on part of my debt. No, really, am I doing the right thing by trying to be responsible and look out for my family or do you think that this will jinx me in the end? I am sure I will look back on all of this and laugh that I was so worried BUT...what if... Let me know what you think..... Jamie

Jamie Girl! I know how your feeling I did the same thing last night and cried cried cried. I had to take a shower to calm down. I only got through 1 for my 2 year old son Gabriel and I decide for my own sanity I should just stop at that. Everyone else knows how I feel and are old enough to understand. I got up this morning thinking about my letter and it makes me sad. I'm done thinking about dieing (I hope) Everyone tells me I'm going to be fine but I know that no one goes into to this thinking they are the one. In my heart I know I'll be ok. I have put in may prayers and I Know that is its my time its my time. I hope you can find comfort and I'm always here if you need me. I don't know if I'll make chat this Sunday I'm going to a play. I'll talk to you soon. Rebecca

Okay, I thought I was the only one who was doing that. My surgery is May 9th and I just feel it is the right thing to do, to be "prepared" for anything. I tried to talk to my husband several times and at first he wouldn't listen but Monday ,through tears, I was able to let him know what and how I would want things done. So Im glad I was able to get that out. I think it is the most responsible thing that we can do. I don't know about you, but a lot of people think Im being selfish by going through this because of the risk factor, but like I told them, ANY type of surgery is a RISK. Being prepared is something we should think about anyway because we can leave here at any given time.