So Scared! Caution!

Cyndi, I did go to 1 support group meeting and it happened to be about PS after WLS LOL. All the post ops were like..oh my gosh don't let this scare you..not everyone needs PS and not everyone looks like that. That was a few months ago, since then I haven't made it to another meeting. We had a bad ice storm and I was out of town and other things got in the way. I am going to the one this coming Tuesday and that should be good. I have meet a few people on the Oregon board who will be going to the meeting also. Thank you for replying I'm so looking forward to having the surgery done and onto my new life. Besides I have my 10 wedding anniversary in June and were going to Las Vegas and its already paid for so like my hubby said I just can't die and everything has to go great LOL. I hope you have a quick and pain free surgery and recovery. I'll add you to my friends list. Keep in touch. Rebecca

RIght there with ya!!! My fiance and I are raising his siter's son, who will be one year old exactly two weeks after my surgery. I just keep thinking about the commitment I made to him, that we are going to be married in July (9 weeks post-op), we are raising this child, what if the worst happens? My sister is VERY vocal about m enot getting the surgery, almost like she hopes something goes wrong so she can say, "I told you so." I, too, have had several operations and been under anesthesia several times, but this feels a little different to me, too. I guess it's because I have so much more to lose this time; and not just the weight. I keep reminding myself that I am doing this for myself and my nephew. I want to be able to play with him on the floor more comfortably that I do now. I want to chase after him if he ever starts to walk (lol...we joke that he's lazy). I want to not have to dread going from upstairs where the bedrooms are and where the laundry accumulates, down the two flights of stairs to the basement to where the washer and dryer are and then dreading coming back up both flights of stairs. The benefits certainly outweigh the risks, at least for me. I feel your pain and fear, I just keep looking into that little face and knowing I am doing the right thing for us. Good luck honey.

It is so hard when there are little kids involved because they still need so much from us. I know that our kids will always need us but I just feel like I haven't had a chance to teach him things that I think are important let alone leave this HUGE job for my hubby to deal with. Congrats on your up coming wedding. Marriage is a great joyful experience not to say it doesn't have its ups and downs but just hold on and you will get thought. I'm so looking forward to all the things I'm going to be able to do with ease after surgery. It will all be worth the worry in the end. Thank you for replying to my post. It means a lot, lets keep in touch add me to your friends list. Thank you again. Rebecca

Rebecca, first of all, congrats on your surgery date, we are both having surgery the same day. Secondly, it is very normal to be feeling what you are feeling right now. If you didn't, I would be concerned that you weren't advised of the risks of this surgery. You seem to be a lot like me, a healthy, but overweight lady. That is in your favor as far as surgery and recovery goes. As for your son and husband, although this is considered elective surgery, you are having a life-saving surgery, life lengthing surgery. You will be healthier, have more energy, and be a better wife and mother. You are not selfish for wanting this surgery, you are brave and courageous!!! Take heart, and I pray that you have peace in the next 24 days........ Best wishes, and keep in touch my surgery twin Alli

Alli, We aer surgery twins. I'm happy to hear that my thoughts are normal. I am feeling a lot better today. I"m sure I'll feel worried again but I'll just come back and read this post and feel better knowing how many wonderful people like you that are going through the same thing. I know your right that I'll be a better Wife and Mother. Hopefully I'll be a hotter wife LOL but only time will tell. My hubby tells me I'm beautiful and how he wishes I could see myself as he sees me. I told myself that I had to be happy with whatever body god blesses me with after all this. I'm hoping because I'm a lightweight that I wont have to much skin hanging around lol. Keep in touch, add me to your friends list as I will do with you. Take care and thank you again. Rebecca

Hi Rebecca, When my approval came and I got a date, this whole thing became real for me. Up to then it was just "exploring options", doing research, etc. Now that it's real, I must say I've had some anxiety as well. But I have to think that's normal and the responses here seem to bear that out. My wife has panic disorder where the anxiety can actually be disabling. Before she was diagnosed, we found a few things that really helped. If it gets bad, try to clear your mind and take a few slow, deep breaths. If you are somewhere where you can sit, close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel safe and happy. Take a 60-second vacation in that place along with the deep breaths. This should help take the edge off the anxiety so you can think logically about your decision and how you came to it. It sounds too simple but it really works. Anxiety builds off of itself. Fear causes adrenaline which causes more fear, and so on. The deep breathing and mental imagary interrupt the cycle so it doesn't feed on itself. This can keep the fear from spiraling up and often even get it to subside. A relaxation technique in itself won't bring you peace but it can help calm you to the point that you can be objective and come to terms with your medical plans. It's also free, easy, drug free and has no nasty side effects. I wish you all the best and hope that you do find some peace you are looking for. -- T.Rob

T.Rob, Thank you for all the wonderful advice on helping me relax. I'm sure I will try it out a few times over the next 25 days or whatever it is. I'm really looking forward to this and I know I"m making a wise informed choice so I take comfort in that. I do have my moments when I'll need to breath deep. I"m sure I will use it for more then just this surgery. I'll probably look back and say that was easier then I thought (the surgery part I mean) and smile back at your post. Thank you again. Rebecca

Rebecca, I am in such a similar situation. I too have a son who is 2 years old. I've had surgery before and am a quick healer. I can't tell you how many times in the week since I received my surgery date that I have teared up. I worry that I will leave my son without a mother and it is so scary. I have a strong faith and I am trying to believe that all will go well with the surgery and to let go of my fears. It is just so hard to do when it comes to our children. We will get through the surgery just fine! And someday our sons will wonder who the fat lady is in all their baby pictures Amy

Amy, Your so right they will wonder who that fat lady is in all the baby pictures. Gabriel (my son) is a big reason I'm doing this. Because of the things want to do and the things I can't do as well as I like. I also don't want him to have weight issues like I have and I hope that by me changing then I'll change the kind of food that is in this house and everyone will become healthier. At the begging of this process there was so much to go thought and so much that had to go just right that I never let my emotions play a factor in my choice to have this surgery done. So now I'm having to deal with it and it s more then I thought it would be. I'm glad I know the risks so I can make the most informed decision. Please keep in touch as will I. This is going to be a crazy ride and we can use all the positive people around us we can get. Thank you again, Rebecca

HI, I have been posting the same type of message. I have children, my youngest being 15 years old. I too, thought what would happen to her, if something happened to me. I am a single Mom. It looks like quite a few are feeling as we do. Really scared, but also; scared of the consequences if we do not follow through and have the surgery. I found out Monday of this week, my surgery is May 1. Ummmmm I am trying not to obsess about it. It is good to know, we all go through this and the surgery, comes and goes. Then, we will be the ones helping to give support. Take care my friend. Jean