SURGERY DATE MAY 9TH....
Me too! Turning 40 on March 26, surgery on May 5. The first available date for surgery was March 24, and I would have loved to have taken it (something psychological about doing something to better myself before I turn 40 I guess), but I'm taking a course that end on April 30 and I need all the time I have left to complete the assignments.
So you're the first in our group. :-) I just read your profile and wanted to cry. It sounds like you had a really tough time, but have the support of a great family. Your dad sounds wonderful.
If you don't mind me asking, my oldest daughter is 14, about 5'4", and weighs about 220. She goes to an all-girls school (we don't have co-ed schools in this country), so I thought that might mean she'd be spared some of the pain I suffered in Jr. high, but other girls can be horribly mean. Many days she comes home crying and says that she has no friends and no one likes her because she is fat.
I don't know what to say or do for her. She is quite overweight, but I don't want to say anything that makes her feel bad about herself or makes her think her entire value is in her outward appearance. I also don't want be the "food police" so that she ends up obsessing about food the way that I have. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Many thanks!
Aww, thank you! In retrospect, I wouldn't change anything. Of course I wish I had my eating habits corrected when I was little, but I feel like I know so much more now than I would have if I had been a skinny mini my whole life. And I can completely relate to how your daughters feeling, but she has to know that this phase of teasing will pass and she will gain some sort of power from it. Has she ever tried WW? I was 14 when I started and I found it fun to count points, like a day-long challenge to build up my menu. And it never left me feeling trapped to 'diet'...and being so young, I lost pretty quickly. I know you don't want to become the food police and put that kinda of pressure on your daughter, but I almost wish my parents had watched what I ate more. You should discuss it with her, make it fun for her to get healthier, especially with your surgery being so close, maybe it will motivate her to change some things also!
Best of luck to her, I can completely relate 
I look forward to getting to know you too in the next month and a bit!
I look forward to getting to know you too in the next month and a bit! Thank you, Chantal. Your insights are really helpful. My daughter and I and my oldest son (15 yrs.) did the Dr Phil diet for two months about a year ago and she did quite well on it, losing about 15 pounds. My son lost a whopping 32 pounds in the same time period--can you believe it?! He's been saying he wants to go back on it to get rid of the last 15-20 pounds he'd like to lose, so maybe the two of them can do it together.
I've been apprehensive about talking to her about it because I don't want her to think that I'm saying that there's something "wrong" with her. Thinking back to my own adolescence, I remember that a few words--even with the best of intentions--could be extremely painful. Abou****ching what she eats, it sounds like it's the kind of thing that she'll hate me for now, but hopefully be thankful for later when she's at a healthy weight.
Since I will have to drastically change my diet with the surgery, perhaps that would be a good time to change my kids' diet as well. Dr Phil's program is not a whole lot different from the post-op dietary requirements (at the solid food stage), so it wouldn't be much of a stretch to tell her that that, since my diet has to change and I'm the cook (and unwilling to cook different things for each person), everyone else's diet will have to change too.
Thanks again, and warmest regards,
Michaela
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