okay, speaking of which.. whine... today was a very typical day. I had cream of wheat for breakfast, and dumped. I had two slices of cheese and stopped the dumping I had 2/3 of blue berry scone and a double coffee and was fine even with 5 spenda's and a huge dollup of 1/2 and 1/2. lunch was a sensible trip to the chinese buffet to make #1 Daughter happy. I had a teaspoon tasting bite of everything that I wanted to try. and a 1/4 serving of each of the deserts that I wanted to try, my daughters even tried my tasting plate. very strange for them, since they are both heavy. dinner was one slice of home made pizza and late night snack was a bunch of baby carrots and ranch dressing. I got some fluids in, but not as much as I needed. think part of the dumping is the dehydration. mine is not a goal of loosing weight, but of loosing the feeling that I am so anxious that I would really have a hard time not throwing up. I really wish I could find something that would settle my tummy down into a nice rhythm that I could go wtih.

I'm all for WHINING...come on we got plenty to whine about...our bodies are working against us...trying to figure out the right "formula" for our rearranged insides is difficult. It does not seem to "fit" into any plan. So, what to do...keep trying...do new things...we will win this battle...to tell you the truth, we have already won. Ok, so I totally screwed up yesterday...Cinco de Mayo potluck at work...carb fest! So, then since I already blew it and my messed up psychie thought "well I might as well go out to dinner too"...pasta and of course drinks (you all know me.). BUT, I am putting it behind me, moving forward today and gonna just stick to it...whatever it is, just do your best. Trish

Oh yeh, whining REALLY helps - you just gotta have someone to whine to, which is where you guys come in (no not really - I appreciate you all and all your support)!!! That's exactly how I feel though - that I am fighting against my body and that my body is doing all it can to sabotage my efforts. You'd think it would be pleased I'm trying to help it wouldn't you.

nice to see you on the May boards and happy re-birthday to you. ANDI

Thanks Kat. Thanks for your reply and for your belief in me - it means a lot to know that. It does defy logic, but knowing that you experienced it too while eating way less calories than I have does help. Yes, I need to look at this long term and as you rightly say, change is being fought by my body and even though this week my body has won this battle I need to persist and win the war. Thanks again for the reminder. I'll try to stick it in my head and let my head rule my heart...