okay, so here is the gist:

about 18 months ago, I started getting some pelvic pain during intercourse... libedo decrease, went to the doctor. clueless. always the same old quick fix. oh it must be that you need more lubricant. no I do not. oh it must be that you need more foreplay. no I do not. oh it must be that you need a different angle. oh my no I do not.

I got a pap smear, I got a mamogram. I went to an OB/GYN and they are like, oh it is a cyst and you need a hysterectomy, and I am like, no i do not. I swear. I opted for naturopathy, for 6 months, no improvement. FINE. so I am scheduled for that in December.  I really am worried that they will screw something up while they are working on me.

then I revisit all the other issues that my body is giving me.

hypoglycemia.. I swear, I am not makin this up.  my doctor gave me a blood glucose meter and I measured. before I eat, it is 70 mg/dL, so I pop a little midget candy bar to get me out of bed, downstairs I had a little bowl of cheerios, it spiked to 175 mg/dL in 30 minutes, and I am shaking like a leaf, and then 1.5 hours later, it plumets to 40 mg/dL and I am on the floor sweating like a pig.  I make it to the fridge and get one cheese stick and slowly start recovery.

so now I know that milk is out of the question, and I am borderline if I have rice milk instead, but I still get the shakes. so that brings me to the next issue. typically I can have an egg for breakfast, and another for lunch, but I have to eat every 2 - 3 hours or I get that shaky thing going on.  so protein bars, banana, oatmeal / pinto bean bars are my snacks.  naturally my butt is growing exponentially due to the increase of food, but at least my heart is not trying to explode.

fast forward to evening. if I do not nibble, and my blood sugar stays fairly normal, I am freezing like an eskimo in burmuda shorts. two sweaters, long sweat pants, socks, and thermal blanket and it is still 75'F here, if I eat some simple carbs, I buck my temperature up, and I just have to be careful that I do not over do it or under do it or see breakfast reaction.

so far no one else that I know that is 3+ year out is going through this, and my Family Practice Dr is clueless.  I am 98% sure my Surgeon would say Lean Meats and Leafy Green vegetables in that Thailand accent which tells me that it is all my fault that I am feeling this way throughout the day.

so each day I carefully nibble, drink, get on the scale, nibble, drink, get off the scales, drink and nibble, scream at the scales and got to bed wishing that I never had to have sex again EVER.

I wish I could just take the scales out back and SHOOT THEM (I am +5 lbs over goal weight on a good day +11 lbs over goal weight on a really bad day.

I love when that happens! I have Journey songs stuck in my head, we had to listen to the only cd we brought to and from my moms house yesterday....I adore Journey but that was almost 2 hours worth! Hugs, ANDI

you got married and didn't post any pictures......are you freakin' kidding me? You've just GOT to be kidding me right? C'mon Mandy aren't we better friends then that, where are the photos girl? Hugs, ANDI ps. i didn't reach goal either but i'm hanging tough, some days dangling but at least it's still considered hanging. ANDI

Great advise, I am not gaining weight (not yet anyway).  I justify my bad eating to breastfeeding, but I wonder all the time, when I quit will I be able to go back to the right way of eating?   

HI!  I NEVER reached my goal either. I started at 332 and am around 190 now (up or down 3-5 pounds depending on the day). Some days I can eat what seems like lots and other days I feel like the surgery is new again.  I am not disappointed because I know I'm not following the rules 100% but I am living like a normal person.  I can go to normal stores and by clothes (L tops and 14 bottoms)! I can order bras from Victoria's Secret. I can bend over and tie my shoes.  NO, I didn't reach the goal way but I have reached many many non-numerical goals. 
We all know we were supposed to stick with our post op diet...but I have slipped...now if I were sticking completely to the diet and exercise I would probably be very depressed.  The only time I get depressed now is when I see how far I've come and know that I can do nothing (besides surgery which I can't afford) to get rid of all the excess skin, but my hubby married me with it and says its just "sugar".

Update on my life! I am HAPPILY married to a wonderful man.  We are building a house.  I teach school and switched grade levels this year and LOVE IT.  And most of all we are working for God and HE is working for us.

Mandy Moore :D