((((((((Diane))))))))))))) thank you so much for validating what I'm feeling. There is nothing like going through nonsense and feeling that you are alone. I felt that if i didnt deal with my demons they'd come back and haunt me and I don't want that! I have enough trouble sticking to a program if I don't excise some of my demons there won't be room for improvement. Please don't get me wrong this is not easy, we're clearing out many many years worth of festering nonsense. Each day brings a new opportunity to reach for the brass ring and that's what i'm going to do. Today my vow is to get out and walk more or even clean the house (oh the joy in that!) and get in all of my fluids. I think i dehydrated myself yesterday and I felt yucky all day long. ANDI

Yum yum and even more yum! Do you heat up the ricotta cheese, mozzarella & tomato sauce all together and eat like soup or pour over something? I can imagine myself just eating it right out of the bowl!! Chip (pita toast) & dips is great too! Thanks

Foks I can use some help or at least some reassurance that I'm not the only one battling these demons. I am doing pretty well weight wise, it's at a stand still at this moment but that's due to my monthly nightmare. When i'm not going through pms I have a handle on what to eat and what not to eat, during pms it's like a free for all! My boobs arrive at work a full 30 minutes before I do and yet seeing that 2-3 pound weight gain once a month makes me nuts. They gave me a water pill but for some odd reason no matter when I take it, I only piddle through the night so my hooters are huge AND i'm so tired I can't even function. For some reason I see the fat Andi in the mirror and she's taunting me and I hear her trying to coax me back to the morbidly obese side and that frightens me to my core. I don't want to go back there again, I hated who I had become when I was her. Is it truly like having split personalities, was I the only one who was different when I was morbidly obese? Anyone else out there have any "issues" or is it just me? Please don't tell me to get back to basics that's like taunting a bull with a waving red scarf at this point in my life. I know what I have to do it's actually doing it that i'm having some trouble with. I am waiting on two checks and then I'm joining the gym, there will be NO excuses for me to not exercise. I've got my ipod, I have great sneakers and then i'll have my gym membership! I love dancing and yet I've denied myself dancing because I don't have the energy to leave the house. My blood levels come back fine and yet I'm so tired I can't even stand myself. I'm in bed by 8:00pm and i'm up around 3:00am so can I work out at 3am, I guess I could admit that I'm up and go work out but i'm not sure if that would work, would i be exhausted all day or energized (guess i'll have to test my theory). So for those of you that just think i'm hard hearted I lay myself open and vulnerable, I'm having a tough time with the demons in my head. I started with a therapist last week, she's mucking up more more head demons then she's helping at this point which i guess is good because that'll help me expose them and work on them. Andi

Yea, those low blood sugar episodes are a little freaky. I realized when I actually saw the number that I have to be more vigilant with what I am eating and plan ahead a little better. Amy

Thanks, being creative and planning ahead IS my problem. But you are right about it. Hopefully, I can get my butt in gear and be a little more organized. That would be a good New Years resolution. Amy