Self esteem is a big issue isn't it. I do know in my logic that it was more than worth it to lose the weight, but this last hurdle seems to be the hardest somehow doesn't it. We haven't got the dramatic weight loss or wow's to cheer us on, and it feels like a brick wall. As I'm typing I'm reminded of running - I've read that you hit a wall and if you can push past it you can go to goal. Is that right, do you think Deanna? I hope so, as it's a good analogy which I can hold onto. Maybe we are at the 'wall' and as long as we can get past this bit will get to the end........... Thanks Deanna

Diane thanks - more than you realise

Ruth, Men can be.... well, men! Sometimes I think we should lock them up on a desert island! It's interesting that you ask, what now? There is a daily post on the Texas Board about that topic.. kinda "I've reached my goal, now what?" We have just spent at least two years thinking about having surgery, getting it done, and then losing the weight. We've had all these WOWs along the way and now they are fewer and further apart. We've obsessed (I may only be talking about me here) about our weight loss with our family and friends (my husband insists that's all I have talked about since surgery). Have I become a WLS patient and that's all I'll ever be now? There has been such dramatic physical changes and psychological, too. I think the pysche needs more time to catch up than our physical selves. And now there is a different kind of acceptance we have to face versus our old fat selves. I wasn't very happy with my old fat self, but I am working every day to try and love the new me. My husband says that in the bedroom, it's not just physical, it's also what's going on between the ears. He says that I am more confident, more self assured, more comfortable in my own skin (saggy and all) and that's what he finds sexy. We've spent so much of our lives with people judging us as MO, and I know in my case I judged myself more harshly than anyone ever could. So maybe it's time we give ourselves a break. Maybe it's time we love ourselves as others love us.... unconditionally. I rambled.. sorry. Sending you big hugs!!! Diane

Why am I bothering to stress over losing the last few pounds to get to a normal bmi (I've already adjusted my initial goal as it seems I will never reach that!)? I have huge body image issues now - I stupidly asked my husband 'you don't like my body, don't find it s£xy, it doesn't look good with all the saggy skin do you' type thing, knowing full well what the answer was going to be, and knowing that my husband is too honest for his (and my) own good. Of course he admitted it, tried to cusion it with you look great with clothes on, but the hurt had already happened. I knew he felt like this - know he loves me dearly, but why oh why did I push for him to say it out loud? If I lose more weight which I'm struggling to do anyway, my body will just look worse! While I didn't like my body obese, it sure looked a darn sight better than it does now - I think even with clothes on...I have HUGE muffin rolls, that stick out all over the place so don't feel comfortable wearing anything close fitting. So I'm moaning on because I'm getting myself down trying to get these scales moving downwards, but if it's going to make me look worse, and affect my 'relations' even more with hubbie what's the point. S£x is almost none existant now, he doesn't fancy me and I don't feel s£xy. I've lost confidence in my body. I've reached my health goals, so what now? Thanks for listening. I'm not expecting any answers - or sympathy as I know I'm in a pity party here with the POM's (poor Old me's) - I don't need any encouragement!! I just know you guys will let me get this off my chest, not judge me too harshly and still love me for who I am... Thanks

Way to go Diane - I know you are going to see results from all this. I've been home today with my daughter off sick from school. I had planned to use the time to blitz the house, and do loads of stuff, but ended up sitting with her most of the day and then just sitting by myself, reading and gazing out into the garden through the window. Also haven't stopped eating today either aghhhhhh. Very relaxing, but haven't got much done...oh well, there's always tomorrow Back to schedule tomorrow