Help!

Hey All, I just wanted to post this and see if anyone else is having the same thing. Since I was given the date I have been out of sorts. I do not feel like my normal self and I guess you can say that I am scared Sh--Less!! I seem to be in a daze at times like right now that I really don't know what I am doing. Some of this is becuase I lost my mother last year and we just had her 1 year anniversary 3/30 and her birthday is 4/24. I guess I really just want to put this down in writing and get it out. I am not normally one to get freaked out about things and I can put them to the back of my mind but I guess this just keeps coming back. Don't get me wrong I can't wait to have the surgery and if they called and said tomorrow I would be there. I guess I just wonder if I am doing the right thing. Which I know I am becuase my quality of life truthfully stinks. Also does anyone else seem to have less energy and more problems since getting your date. It seems like my back is worse, my breathing is worse and all my aches are here now. Of Course it could be that I am just tired of them all (which I am) and now that I see a possible end to them they just seem to be maginified. Well I am going to end this here and look forward to talking to everyone soon. Under 30 days to go, but hey whos counting!!!

Hi Robert, I just got my surgery date last week and I have not been myself at all. I am very nervous and can't think straight... I am very scared - I just want everything to go smoothly- I have 3 kids and a husband I have to come home too I also lost my mother 1 year ago - March 1st, 2005. I have not lost anyone close to me before her... it has been very difficult this last year. And like you say - I think a lot of what I am going through is because of her. Everything you talk about in your post is exactly how I feel... so I just wanted to drop a line and let you know that you are not alone. My date is May 24th... Take care and you know deep down inside we will both be much happier when we become losers!!! Jinn

Good Morning Robert! Seeing as your my hospital partner in crime, I'll be your cheerleader for the time being! I've been WAY out of sorts as well. I've got three kids and a hubby to come home to and the surgery is a big undertaking. I'm up for the challenge though, as are you. I've started keeping a journal not only of questions for the surgeon, the nutritionist but also of my feelings, fears and aspirations. This writing seems to help me gain control of an out of control situation. We had (4) weeks as of yesterday YAY TEAM! Think about it, our whole lives are going to change. The way people treat us will change, sad but so true. We are going to be the same people on the inside but the packaging will be different so people's perceptions of us will change. When i was in college (oh so many years ago) i took a class called PMA: Positive Mental Attitude, what an awesome class. Each day we had to tell the others (3) fabulous things that happened to you that day....at first it was tough but you started to look for great things because you knew you'd have to tell the class....still how i live my life today, but now i put it in my journal. Hugs, ANDI

Andrea, I don't know that we really will be the same people on the inside. I mean part of this journey is personal healing, remembering what got us here but healing so as not to return. With active growth we do change, so we may not be the same on the inside. Blessings, Renay

Hi Renay! I'm both in agreement and opposition with what you wrote. The surgery is not going to make me feel any different about how i help people how i feel about the things that mean the most in my life: my children, my husband my animals, my friends etc etc. I will definitely need to re-evaluate how i cope with life though. Hugs, ANDREA

HI Robert I know exactly what you are going through, when i got my date i was Happy, excited, nervous,& scared as well.It took several days for my insides to calm down.Then i started cleaning house(nervous energy) trying to get everything organized. I have a wonderful hubby & 11 yr old little boy to come home to. So i started having doubts, those darn whatifs will just drag you down!But i went to my pre-op appt yesterday & since I've seen my surgeon had my final questions answered a good calm has come over me & I am just ready to begin my journey!I am sure the anniversary of the loss of your mother is making your feelings worse.Let me just say that I am so sorry for your loss. Try to concentrate on you now.As my best friend keeps telling me this is your time now.You were right to come here & ask for support that's what this site is for.Maybe do like the other poster & start a journal of what you are eating & drinking & how you are feeling.Sometimes it just makes us feel better to get it all out!!!Good luck & Best wishes to you.((HUGS))~Missy~

Hey Robert, First of all congrats on your date. I'm still waiting for mine. As for feeling all freaked out, well, that seems to be a stage everybody goes through. So hang in there. There is alot of good info on the mens board. http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/ Check it out and Good Luck buddy, Jeff

Robert, You are definitely not alone. I just got my date this past Wednesday (May 15th), and since then the anxiety and nervousness has set in. I've never had surgery before, and the only time I've been in the hospital is to have my son (he's 10 now), so to say this major surgery is making me a little scared would be putting it mildly. You just have to have faith in God, your surgeon, and keep in mind the support of your family and friends. That's what I'm doing. I have a 10-year old son and a fiance' (we're getting married in October) to come home to, so I have to have faith and believe that all will go well and soon I'll be on the losing and healthy side. I will keep good thoughts for you - hang in there and good luck on your surgery date and recovery!

hi robert im sorry to hear about your mother but im sure she is watching over you & yes every thing gets turned up side down its like your body knows & its trying to tell you hurry up but your body & mind are torn apart , your mind is saying " i can wait i can do this " but your body is saying no now i want to do this now, before you know it you surgery date will be here & then you will wondering what all the fuss was about but in the mean time take a deep breath relax & smile best of luck karen

I certainly can identify with you as far as the aches and pains go! I have more back pain, knee pain, shortness of breath, lack of energy since I got my date. I think it is because before now we were afraid to admit how bad we felt. Now that we know that relief is in site, we can admit that our life is pretty bad, and acknowledge that we feel bad. For years I have been trying to prove to poeple that even though I am MO, I am normal, and can do everything they can do. Now I can admit that I am MO, am not normal, and need to fix it.