Recovering food-a-holic

you know, I would never have even concieved that I was a food a holic but the stress over the last 2 years had completely done me in.

I have regained 30 lbs past my goal weight, not the lowest weight, we will not even GO THERE.

I have restarted fit day and I brought out the scales and the itty bitty bowls and am recording and evaluating my life style down to the gram.

Calories		975
Fat	58.9	523	55	%
Carbohydrate	81.3	310	32	%
Protein	30.8	121	13	%

I struggled all day with snacking and portions and desparately hated every moment of it.

there is no excuse, not the 3 year old that can not walk as fast or as far, not the bike that doesn't have a trailer hitch, not the hypoglycemia that spins my world without notice, it was SUCH a HARD day. I was tired and angry and frustrated with myself all day. and let me be the first to say that menopause sucks, I am swathed in wool and freezing to death and it is a balmy 49F outside. I am miserable.

Kat

Hi,
Don't feel bad!! I'm in the same boat! I never even got to my goal weight and I have gained back 30 pounds too!! I have so much stress and the Dr. has put me on pills to try to help,but instead of losing weight,which MOST people do with them I gained more!! I contacted my center where they did my surgery and want em to some to seminars for $90 a week!!! Yea right!! I spent enough money on this surgery!!!

I agree we already paid for the tool and the tool works we just do not seem to be able to completely break away from the cycle of stress eat gain stress eat gain. part of me hates that I have to revisit portions and wow did I have a moment when I had to start measuring yesterday. I had been okay with most of my portions but I was able to sneak in extras. Now with fitday I am tracking and keeping the portions down and of course this site has back to basics since we are not alone and that is free. I like free.

I like free too!!  My biggest problem is not getting in enough exercise!! Maybe when this snow gets the heck out of here I will feel more like doing something!!

I would love to use the snow as an excuse, okay, I will. hahaha we got snow twice here this year.

seriously, I am finding that doing a deep thoroughly spring / fall cleaning of the house, stripping out every drawer and cleaning it, and reorganizing it, socks, clothes, dishes, silverware, junk, we all have them. keeps you so busy, you dont dwell on that next bite.

today I didnt do much outside of the house, but I did get out, and I stayed under my calorie goal, and so far, down 5 lbs. this week.  even if it is just washing and drying 4 loads of laundry, walking up and down stairs, getting my butt up off the chair, away from the desk is helping.

I gained back 37 pounds from my lowest weight, thankfully I am sort of back in control and now i'm down 17lbs and i'll take that....slow and steady win the race, a journey not a race Andi. How are you doing and what are you doing for you? Hugs, ANDI 

I feel like the movie of the month on HBO, I am on rerun over and over and over.

today I walked 2 miles at 4 mph

today I had lean venison and leafy green veggies

Today I did my best to eat sparingly..   now I know it was not a good day, but mypyramid is going crazy saying that I had 3500 calories.. that is just nuts.

time for me to really figure out what I am eating.

How am I? well my summer was really complicated, I hiked and I walked, and I traveled all over the place teaching my children about Geology, Wildlife, and Native American Culture. that means that I didnt always make time for good food choices, so trail mix was quick and fast, and not always a good idea.
but I convinced myself that I was moving and therefore all would be forgiven. in one week I hiked 20 miles with the kids throughout Glacier Park.
I was with my parents a good bit of the time, and at one point I tried Rhubarb and puked it up over the next 4 hours, (horrible foamies) my mom writes on my facebook that she would like to know how my eating disorder is coming along now that there is less stress from summer? WTF? seriously, you think that I have an eating disorder? that I eat too much and then puke it up so that I feel better. *sigh*
I am home and am homeschooling my children, that is a bit stressful, but we are out daily for P.E., yesterday we rode bikes over a variety of terrains for 5 miles.  I have reverted back to Rice Milk and the dumping from milk has decreased, that is a good thing. I still eat cheese frequently when I am feeling that my blood sugar is out of whack, and according to the Dr that is a bad thing. he says that Cheese and Nuts are extremely fattening. lovely.
did I mention that I am cheap meat intolerant? so I send the husband to the store to get two steaks for a BBQ that we are going to this weekend. I have discovered that Bison Tenderloin is the best situation for my tummy. I do not need a lot, a 4oz steak is actually way more than I need. he choked on the bill. called me twice to make sure that I was AWARE of how much .... YES I was AWARE.. HAHAHA
So I got on the scales yesterday, and I am still a WHOPPING 174... a size 10, which if it was really a size 10, that would not be so bad, but we all know that at some point, a size 10 was really a size 12 and at some point a size 12 was really a size 14.. so I am not at all convince that is a good thing.
today is Cheerios for breakfast, last night was a homemade wrap, and I have discovered Pepperridge farms Deli Flats, those are the bomb.