How I see myself

Its been since last May that Ive checked the wls boards. In that time Ive gained 30lbs!!!! Ive been hiding my head ever since. I think I did this to myself partly because so many people told me I looked sickly when I was thinner and partly because I definately got off track and began snacking on high calorie snacks like tortilla chips. Ive been exercising recently and trying to get back on track. Weird - I really did think I wouldnt struggle with food after this surgery. Stupid and naive of me.    I still get sick on sweets - so at least I know my pouch isnt totally "broken" - but  my spirit was for a long while. There arent any support groups in my area- and to behonest, I dont know if I would attend since I see myself as a failure at maintaining weight loss.


On a positive note I signed my sister, mom and myself up for a fitness bootcamp in January and so at least I am heading toward an exercise goal. Now, if only I could get a grip on my eating.............

Kathryn

Hi Kathryn

soooo good to see you again.  You are not alone as I am struggling and I know a few other Maybies are too.   Go you, signing up for this bootcamp - you are braver than I am.

No good hiding in a closet because you haven't been eating right - we all need support and in seeking help, we often help others without realising it.

The great thing about our universe is that each morning we get to begin again.  Today is a new day - leave the past in the past and look to where you are headed.

What one thing are you going to try and change today to move in the right direction?  For me, I am going to resist the call of the cookies, doughnuts and individual pies that are around the office!!!!  I only had 4 cookies and one pie yesterday - much better than before.  So today I am going to try and rebuild my wall of resistance, and no matter what the borg say...risistance IS NOT futile hahahahahaha :o)

Hope to see more of you, hugs, Ruth

Thanks Ruth!

I am on the path again - 2 days so far on the 5 day pouch test and I like how Im feeling.
Thank you for the inspirational words- you are WONDERFUL!

Thanks Kathryn - I just wish I could take my own advice!!!  I did really well last week, then it all went to pot at the weekend. It's been a struggle today getting back to where I should be, but I'll keep trying.

Let me know how you are doing over the next few days...

Hi Kathryn, my name is Andi i'm a surprised gainer too! Who'da thunk it i ask you? I started journaling again yesterday and it's tough to see yourself be accountable, so i'm trying to be a better eater and make better choices, not as easy in real life as it is on paper! Know that you aren't alone and that youaren't a failure! I signed up for belly dancing classes that start in January. Hugs, ANDI

Belly Dancing sounds like fun - Ive tried zumba and I enjoyed it!

i adore Zumba it's just far away and in winter i tend to hybernate...bad excuse but it is what it is! ANDI

I am RIGHT there with you...  I had people tell me that I was TOO thin even though I was 10+ of my ideal weight.  I have nibbled my way up the scales and while I do not want to use the "D" word, I do need to get back to basics.  I have RARELY stretched my pouch since this all began.  I am still STUFFED with a single taco or a single slice of cheese. but I am suspicious that it is dehydration and stress induced cordisol that causes weight gain.

what I do not think that I need is a physical support group, or even a 'group hug' although I got a couple of those yesterday and it did feel pretty good.  I tend to act like a shut in lately with all my stress.  what I am doing is one meal at a time, getting back to basics.

Breakfast:
2 eggs

3 vitamins (chewable)
1 b12 (pill)
1 cranberry (pill)

20 oz zip fizz (b12)

12 oz coffee

Lunch:
20g protein bar
12 oz coffee

6 oz Kefir (drinkable yogurt)

20 oz propel

Dinner:
Chicken
Broccoli

20 oz decaf tea

i am not a failure and you are not a failure.. yes, I am now at a BMI of 25.3 and therefore I need to get back to a healthy weight but I am going to do it now, and not wait until it is an isurmountable task.  10 lbs in 10 weeks. I can do that... instead of thinking about the whole 30, just think about the first 10.

Kat,

I believe you can do it!
My weight gain is obviously and scary. I can eat waaaayyy tooo much! 2 tacos for me and then Id help myself to a few chips - so bad!  Im back on track, as my son says, "keep on keepin on"

thank you...

so today was a new day, and what did I do with that blessing?

breakfast was 2 yogurt pancakes, dry, no dressing and lunch was a banana.

now I definately HAVE to make some coffee since I just woke up from my morning nap and I am still tired and sleepy.  I think it may have to do with the weather, it is raining today and that seems to affect me. but then again, I have been flat out exhausted a lot lately.

dinner last night was a fiasco. I make a whole wheat macaroni / pea / salmon / gravy dish and had a ladle of that as well as a ladle of homemade lasagna primavera from saturday night dinner.

while I making everything from scratch, I am finding that my 'base' of ingredients is whole wheat pasta driven and I really need some new recipes.