All flubbed up

okay, so here is the gist:

about 18 months ago, I started getting some pelvic pain during intercourse... libedo decrease, went to the doctor. clueless. always the same old quick fix. oh it must be that you need more lubricant. no I do not. oh it must be that you need more foreplay. no I do not. oh it must be that you need a different angle. oh my no I do not.

I got a pap smear, I got a mamogram. I went to an OB/GYN and they are like, oh it is a cyst and you need a hysterectomy, and I am like, no i do not. I swear. I opted for naturopathy, for 6 months, no improvement. FINE. so I am scheduled for that in December.  I really am worried that they will screw something up while they are working on me.

then I revisit all the other issues that my body is giving me.

hypoglycemia.. I swear, I am not makin this up.  my doctor gave me a blood glucose meter and I measured. before I eat, it is 70 mg/dL, so I pop a little midget candy bar to get me out of bed, downstairs I had a little bowl of cheerios, it spiked to 175 mg/dL in 30 minutes, and I am shaking like a leaf, and then 1.5 hours later, it plumets to 40 mg/dL and I am on the floor sweating like a pig.  I make it to the fridge and get one cheese stick and slowly start recovery.

so now I know that milk is out of the question, and I am borderline if I have rice milk instead, but I still get the shakes. so that brings me to the next issue. typically I can have an egg for breakfast, and another for lunch, but I have to eat every 2 - 3 hours or I get that shaky thing going on.  so protein bars, banana, oatmeal / pinto bean bars are my snacks.  naturally my butt is growing exponentially due to the increase of food, but at least my heart is not trying to explode.

fast forward to evening. if I do not nibble, and my blood sugar stays fairly normal, I am freezing like an eskimo in burmuda shorts. two sweaters, long sweat pants, socks, and thermal blanket and it is still 75'F here, if I eat some simple carbs, I buck my temperature up, and I just have to be careful that I do not over do it or under do it or see breakfast reaction.

so far no one else that I know that is 3+ year out is going through this, and my Family Practice Dr is clueless.  I am 98% sure my Surgeon would say Lean Meats and Leafy Green vegetables in that Thailand accent which tells me that it is all my fault that I am feeling this way throughout the day.

so each day I carefully nibble, drink, get on the scale, nibble, drink, get off the scales, drink and nibble, scream at the scales and got to bed wishing that I never had to have sex again EVER.

I wish I could just take the scales out back and SHOOT THEM (I am +5 lbs over goal weight on a good day +11 lbs over goal weight on a really bad day.

Hi Kat

you poor thing - this sounds horrid!  I have to be careful with the blood sugar as I get spikes and crashes, but not nearly so sever as you.  As for my libido - that's out the window completely and painful if I'm honest!  Things just aren't the same down there anymore to say the least without getting too graphic.

I'm exhausted all the time and keep getting infections feelign very run down - just had some blood work done which they say has come back normal.  I'm oging back tomorrow and will request a printout so I can make my own mind up re the results!

I'm still struggling to lose the last 40 lbs - I've managed to not gain, but just can't get these last pounds to shift.  I'm joining a weight loss group this week - thought those days were behind me, but there you go.  I need to do anythign I can to sort this out.

I wonder why we are feeling so bad this far out.  I thought we'd be feeling wonderful by now?????  Hoep you get some answers soon.  Keep us up to date.

hugs, Ruth

UPDATE... Reading a new book, (Overcoming Runaway Blood Sugar) it is about controlling your blood sugar and hypoglycemia.  now since we have all been at this for awhile, we know what we can and can not do. what I did was increase my beans to increase my fiber and what I didnt know is that beans are a simple sugar. who would have freaking guessed that?  I can eat a glazed raised donut and have no reaction, but I eat four cookies with pinto beans and oatmeal in them and my blood sugar went through the roof. LESSON LEARNED. not all good things are good for you.

as for the girl issues... Perimenopausee is an ugly ugly ugly beast. now while a hysterocomy may only be a bandaid on a broken leg, for now, it appears to be my only solution.  irritability, mood swings and irregular periods JOY... I increased my flax seed and it has shown a marked improvement. I increased my progesterone and I made me mean as hell. ;-)

as for the initial reason for being here.. my weight has gone from 285 to 143 and now is at 157.  I am watching my portions, watching my glucose, nibbling throughout the day on proteins and cutting out all milks and beans now. we shall see if I can find the right c@cktail to get the weight off, the glucose down, and the hormones in check.

It's amazing what has hidden sugar in it isn't it.  And our bodies DONT LIKE hidden sugar - mine like yours can deal with obvious sugar, but hide it and wham!!

Anyway, you have done a fantastic job on this journey and been very focussed and disciplined so I know you'll shift those unwanted pounds soon.

I am at work today... my appointment called about 40 minutes ago freaking that she has overslept and would be here in 20 minutes and I was thinking, CALM DOWN, your appointment is not until 10.  what I was also thinking that I would not be ready in 20.. reason I made the appt at 10.. I need to warm up to the idea of working.. I told her I would see her at 10..... and she confirmed back... TEN.. okay. heehee

I am only on my first cup of coffee... better go make me an egg

oh me oh my

so I am trying to get the glucose under control and the freak of it is that I think that the RA is back out of remission.  I got up and did the chores around the house, takes about 45 minutes to clean the kitchen, empty and load diswasher, wash down the stove, scrub out the sinks, and wipe down the counters, sort out the recyclables, and wipe down the table, make three beds, pick up dirty laundry, open curtains and blinds, get dressed, make coffee, cook up some eggs, wash out the bathroom sinks (toothpaste monsters) and turn on all the fans. this morning I was ready for a nap after that little bit of picking up. so I sucked down some vits, added in an extra b12 (3K) and reflected on my life.

tomorrow they will perform the U/S to see if they need to do a complete or partial hysterectomy.  I am nervous. but not as nervous as worrying about cub scouts today, two sessions tomorrow, next monday, next wednesday and next thursday.  worrying about dentist for the family on Tuesday.  worrying about my photography sessions (4 in the next 10 days) and worrying about finding a session from May 2007 for a client that is as scattered as I am.  this daughter flying to see that daughter at a moments notice, that daughter flying here to see me after surgery.  being able to keep up with everything and everyone through the holidays.  making sure that I do not bust out of my jeans with extra servings of pecan pie. ;-)

I have a calendar and I think I am going to have to start pruning down my committments before they have me committed. ;-)

okie dokie. the reason for the pelvic pain:  two surgical clamps left in me during my gastric bypass. well that sucks. while removing the uterus and cervix, the doctor found them. removed them too. I should be painfree from now on.

hypoglycemia: so I avoid the triggers, unfortunately, chocolate chip cookies, chips, and french crepes with raspberry jam are not triggers, and I can eat them with no challenges.  I find that I am my own worse enemy when it comes to snacking and eating just a handful of something every hour or so, just enough to stave off hunger, but not enough to stretch my pouch. this is not a good thing. I promise myself daily to do better, and just like an alcholic, I fail daily.  I do not have the 'will power' to remove the junk food from my office, because then i would never eat and then I would really have the shakes from fasting, so I am in lala land.

my cliff builder bars were part of the recall.. that sucks.. my husband took advantage to recommend that I eat FOOD instead of protein bars, that I consume chicken instead of stuff. he may be right, but that does not mean that I have to like him.

STRESS. I have a 100 excuses each day for stress, 5 kids, 2 son in laws deploying to afghanistan this week, 1 grandbaby, taxes, a home buisiness, a national recession/depression, insane responsibilites to cub scouts, school, family, filing a law suit against the hospital, visition out of state with two of my children, cub scouts.... that is a big commitment.

I have regained 1 lb a month and while I do not like it, I am not really ready to face my issues. but I do know that I am Exhausted and Dehydrated and Tired. so maybe tomorrow I will eat the steak and feel better.

Tonight, I am going to go to bed and get my 7 hours of sleep. tomorrow I am considering going to church for some reverence.