Exhaustion???? Depression???? Stress????

okay, so I have psyched myself out of my head and now my body has followed. I am producing enough cortisol to gain 100 lbs. overall it started with painful intercourse that led to an annual well woman exam, that led to an EKG, an Vaginal UltraSound, a complex series of blood tests and I am still not sure what is going on. but since cancer is so readily prevalent in my immediate family (1 colon cancer death, three esophageal cancer deaths, and two breast cancer survivors) My head is messing with the rest of my body. Lately I want to sleep all day when I am not going Mach III and up at 7 am, taking cub scouts on an outdoor community service activity, and then at 10 am going on a cub scout nature hike and teaching about first aid, sun safety, and hydration. then at 1:30 for a birthday party for 6 6 - 8 year olds and mini golf and go carts, then a photo shoot for 15 fifteen year olds and their families, and then my own family (4 adults and 3 kids) out for dinner, after a quick trip to the beauty salon, followed up by email, digital photo proofing, and such. so I push myself so hard that I literally collapse from exhaustion. I got my shopping done about 11 pm at night after the kids finished up swim practice, and I had a scout meeting, and some laundry, and repairing the fence. granted I am not insane, this morning, after breakfast and the kids off to school, I did lay down, read a couple of pages of a book, and promptly feel asleep and took a 4 hour nap. I do listen to my body, and I do rest but for the most part, I am still constantly feeling that my heart is racing and that there is no way I can get everything done that needs to be done by the time that it needs to be completed. take for instance today. I have been copying files over from one computer to the other so that i can get in two portrait orders for clients. then I have to custom design and create and print 42 mothers day cards and get them mailed by 4 pm tomorrow. the boys have chess tournament today, their dad is going to take that as a responsibility, they will miss swim practice today, but that is unavoidable. I had hired someone to help me with work, but she created more work rather than reduced my workload. ;) okay, enough of the whining, I have to get back to "WORK". I am still waiting for the test results on the labs.

I thiink it's the nature of the beast that we go one hundred miles an hour and then crash and burn. I'm on day 9 of work and i feel the drain and the anger coming on. I want to take it out on msyelf through carbs but i'm not going to, i deserve better. I know we're going to the movies on Friday and i'm giong to have popcorn and that's going to be my cheat/treat for the week. I found carb control ice cream and i'm actually portioning it out i'm so proud of me not doing the eat until you're full thing. Be Well and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. As for the painful intercourse buy some tingly k-y jelly and go with that. ANDI

that is why the dr is freaking out about the painful intercourse it is not the lube that is the problem it is just touching the cervix (even during the vag u/s) that is the problem.

I'm going to pray for you, when i'm at a loss it's what i find i do the best! May G*D Bless you and keep you in peace. Let us know what the doctor says and we're here if you need us. ANDI

WOW...you made me tired just reading all that you have to do!! I sure hope all your test results come back ok....I know what you mean about the painful thing..it happens to me sometimes,too! Good luck and take care of yourself!!

at first we thought that it was low libido and then we thought it was decreased privacy... now we know that is the memory of pain and so that is why I cringe at the thought of intercourse. we have changed positions, and that doesn't help, we definitely have no problem with lubrication, so that is not the problem. it appears that there is just an irritated spot on my cervix that is the problem. great.. just when I get one plumbing situation fixed, the other plumbing springs a leak. heehee

Hey Katherine First of all ~ take a deep breath! Your schedule has me exhausted just reading it. As you say, stress is the last thing you need right now. Sounds like you need to go take a Light some candles, take in a good book, lock the bathroom door and have some quality 'me' time. Mindyou, doesn't sound like that's gonna happen any time soon. Schedules get so hectic don't they. The thinner and fitter we get the more we try and fit into our alreay busy lives. Hope the tests results come back positive and help in the long run. Thinking of you (and feel free to whine here any time - we can handle it) Ruth

I went to the dr and then to another and then to another and then to another and all are concurring that it would appear that a hysterectomy is in order. I am not sure about this and will have to prayfully consider my options.

Sorry to hear this Kat. As you say, it is not a decision to be taken lightly, and may God give you wisdom and peace in whatever decision you make.

well there is a lot of information out there. pro and con. and so many choices and it is so complicated. I do not know if it sounds kookie, but I wonder about the benefits of YOGA.. we loved the show Dharma and Greg, but to seriously consider YOGA and Alternative medicine is a great leap for us (typical republicans) we are so not democrats giggle