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Thanks Andi and yea, I know exactly how you feel

Hey Jean, I know the feeling only to well. My family says things to me that are hurtful, they used to hurt alot and I would revert back to the old me and just stay silent about it. My sister told me the other night that she is glad I lost weight and got healthy (this was a major step as she was quite jealous in the beginning) She is over weight but not enough to have the surgery so she just makes comments such as.....well, I am happy fat and I dont need to lose as much as you did so they wont do it. Then she has to throw in the negative comments like...you look old now....all your skin is saggy in your face. It isnt saggy, I just dont have the fat in my face anymore to fill out the wrinkles...I figure I am 50 yrs old and have been thru alot in my life and those wrinkles...I earned! I have come to far and done to well with this journey to let her snide remarks get me down. She even went so far as to say that others in the family have said the same thing but not to my face. I look at it like Andi does...I didnt have this surgery to make them happy. I did it to get healthy and make myself happy. And I am seeing more every day just like the rest of you that its hard to handle some issues when you dont have the old fat person to hide behind. We have earned the right to have a voice and we need to learn to take that step out of the box and speak up for ourselves. We dont have the old us to hide behind anymore. It's difficult sometimes but you just have to do it. Like my surgeon told me when I asked him about the losing....he said our bodies just know when we are done losing. He said it will level out where it feels most comfortable. Mine has and I feel great. So learn to feel good in the skin you are in. We have been successful in this journey and dont let anyone take that away from you. I look at it like this....I have been on a million diets in my lifetime and always and I mean always gained it back and then some. I dont look at this as a diet...its my life. One thing I always keep in mind is where I have come from and where I am now. And believe me...I will never go back where I came from. It's been a fantastic journey and its time to enjoy where we are now. I used to worry about things like....will I get down to a size 6? But I am actually happy wearing a size 8-10 I am tall and rather big boned and at my lowest weight I did look rather thin. My weight is up about 6 lbs from that and its just right now. I have maintained this weight now for about 5 months and its my spot so to speak. Just be happy for you and your successes. Maybe everyone is just jealous. Remember you cant make everyone happy.....you just need to make you happy. You started out on this journey for you and to get healthy and you succeeded. Kel

Thank You Kelly! From your family I see you understand... I am very small boned 5 5". My body might gain? I don't know but I feel that it is trying still to find where it should be... I will NEVER let myself be fat again! but I can't say that to anyone else with out being criticised and being told I have an eating disorder.. BELIEVE me I eat!... NO disorder...LOL yesterday I had almost a whole bagel with cream cheese and salmon, cheese stick, salad with grilled chicken, a protein shake with 1/2 banana ,and spaghetti and meat sauce...LOL oh yea, and a handful of Doritos. I am 116lbs this morning I worked in the yard and took my dog for a walk...LOL that was my exercise... So you are right! I am happy with myself and need to ignore what others say to me...Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me so cross that people feel that they are able to make personal comments on our size - as others have said - comments when we were obese, and now comments that we are too small, or 'don't lose any more' kind of thing. What gives them the right to be so rude - the trouble (for me at least) is that I allow them to. I don't tell them they are being rude, I laugh it off, and yes, in the past I have turned to food. The comments that hurt me are from my husband - from other aquaintances I let it roll off me - they have no idea what I weigh or what size I take - I know I need to lose more even if it makes them feel insecure. But when hubbie makes unthoughtful comments it really cuts deep. he doesn't mean to hurt - he is just thoughtless, and yes, as Andi said, he is very sorry after, but as I say to him, are you sorry for saying what you did and hurting me or sorry that I am mad at you now??? Deep down I know the answer as he does it over and over again, so doesn't make enough effort to change!!! It is so hard to put ourselves first and not allow what others think of us affect us. We have to go by what our doctors say - if they feel we are getting too thin, if we are below the guidelines then we need to listen, but other than that, we need to listen to our bodies and where they are happy. It is hard though when hubbie likes a certain size. hugs to all dealing with this.