Food - Friday

Breakfast - Mouthful of brioch (sweet bread) 1 cup special K sustain (protein enriched) with 2% milk Snack - I was having low blood sugar small handful of dry cereal small apple with 2 teaspoons of peanut butter Later - cup cake - ugh, what was I thinking Lunch - 1 cup bacon, vegetables & cheese mixed with 1 spoon of pasta. 3 mouthfuls cabbage & bacon soup with added soya protein. Snack - Easter chocolate (couple of mouthfuls) - I HATE that I ate this - I am so STUPID. I ate it knowing it would make me ill, and it did. I had severe stomach cramps, and had to go to bed for 3 hours. Why do I make stupid choices like this??? I have GOT to stop... SO...that is it for today - I am done eating. I have been drinking chinese herbal tea and ho****er throughout the day, and will have more drinks throughout the evening, but no more food for me. I may try and have a protien shake tonight, but my body is still reacting to the chocolate. Maybe I'll make better choices tomorrow. I know that knowing I was going to post helped me to stop in my tracks and look ahead to better choices instead of going down the path of destruction.

8pm and my stomach is STILL cramping (and the gas - OMG - just don't light a match hehe) Hopefully I will have learnt my lesson this time - it has not been this bad before - chocolate is definitely OFF the menu

LOL on the matches! Hope you're feeling better! I am so glad I am not into chocolate candy that much! I eat some every once in a great while but thats it. But I can do like jelly beans,so I didn't buy any this year! I am the most horriblest person when it comes to eating bad things! Then I feel bad and wait a few hours and I'm right back at it!! I'm complaining all the time and then my husband (like I need to hear it)...tells me you complain you keep gaining weight and you're eating all the time!! Think he needs to control his mouth!! LOL! I keep telling myself that I am going to throw away my scale first... then start walking...staying out of the house more!! It is getting warmer around here so I have to lose or I won't even want to wear shorts!! I was looking at a Self magazine today and they were showing you how to figure your "comfortable weight" so I didn't feel too bad afterwards.... By that I only need to lose about 40 pounds... Thats still aways to go when my scale keeps going up and down!! Then I keep telling myself as long as I don't go overe 200 again...that getting and has gotten very close!! But I will keep trying and quit letting food overtake me again for comfort again...the battle of the bulge has begins........

I have revised my goal weight as it was getting to me that it was so far away. I am a perfectionist and set myself up to fail all the time (in my mind if I don't reach my goals I've failed). However, what I've done now which seems to to helping me is: a) revise my end goal to reach a normal bmi at 154lbs rather than reach skinny at 135lbs. b) set myself a mini goal of having lost 100lbs. I need to get to 166lbs to reach this. Now in my mind, these goals are not far off, so I have set my mind not to give up til I reach them. They are attainable in my mind which keeps me going, even though the scale hasn't moved in months. 40lbs is not so far to reach for you Karen - I know you can do it. Why don't you keep that as your final goal, and also set yourself some mini goals, like a few pounds or so. Set your mind that you are going to keep trying until you reach your mini goal, no matter how long it takes. It's got to be something that you know is reasonable, like 2 or 3 pounds. A goal of staying below 200lbs is realistic and reasonable. Many doctors regard success as having lost 65% (or so) of our excess weight. Have you lost this much? If so you have reached goal - the first one anyway - you can always set new ones!!! Let me know your mini goal so I can cheer you on...

Breakfast: sauteed vegetables with some parmesan cheese (for some reason this is my favorite food lately) Snack 1: (4) mini eggs of butterfingers and a mini bag of m&m's Snack 2: handful of mini pretzels Lunch: (4) fried dumplings with meat in them (finally some protein Andi) Snack: (2) hershey's kisses (anyone see the pattern here?) Dinner: this was the kicker ..... pirate booty because we were running late! so all in all i know what i need to do and I just have to do it. Which i will but not until tomorrow as today i'm going to my sister in law's surprise party and there will be goody's that i want. ANDI