been a long time!

Hello all... Well as our 2 Year Birthday fast approaches, i have been asked, if i knew then what i know now, would i still have done it?! and i'd have to say yes and no... the health aspect has been wonderful although i'm still dealing with weird menstrual cycles!! but when it comes to my social life,,, i'd have to no.. i wouldn't do it again! I have lost many good friends, well atleast i thought they were friends... my boyfriend became very very insecure which causes some nasty fights! I love that i'm HALF the person i was before!! i love that i can wear jeans every day and be comfortable wearing them! I'm still super self concious about my "rolls" of skin that just wouldn't stretch back.. i still find myself with nasty cravings, mostly for cheese lately though! hahaha i am horrible about taking my vitamins and b12.. and i certainly don't drink as much water as i should.. i went back to the horrible addiction of Mountain Dew and smoking.... my weight has been "Level" for about 4-5 months now.... and i am so very happy with where i'm at physically. i've noticed though that my lows are really low and my highs are very high.. i'm COLD all the time!!! i can never seen to keep warm! my hair never recovered! i used to have LONG THICK hair... i now keep it short, and it's much thinner than it used to be. i started out wearing a size 26 jeans... and i now wear a size 8 size 3xl shirts, and now wearing a Medium, but sometimes still wear a large cuz i like my shirts big anyways disappointing my bra size went from a 44D to a 34C.. but Victoria's Secret has some pretty wonderful and amazing bras!! and i never thought i'd ever wear a padded one, but ahem,, well what can i say... hahahahah I started my jouirney weighing 266lbs I now weigh 130lbs!!!!!!!! i type that and see a WOW... but why is it when i look in the mirror i still see that same insecure fat girl?????? I"m still pretty anal about all the foods i eat, i've been doing good with portion sizes although i don't weigh or measure anything anymore... and i cook as much from scratch as i can, that way i know what's goin into my mouth!!! Is anyone else feeling that emotional rollercoaster? Does anyone else still look in the mirror and see that "fat" person starring back?? CONGRATS to all of us!!! HUGS Ali

I have not reached my goal and even though I have lost 100 lbs, I still see fat Holly looking back. I had told someone that I just met that I had lost some weight and they wanted to see a picture, so I brought out my drivers license and I took a look at it and I really have to readjust my mental image because I don't look anything like I did before. The person that I showed it to told me that they didn't believe that it was me. Emotional roller coaster? I used to be so calm and stable all the time, it was what made it easy to do my job. Now it is a struggle. I am hoping as soon as I am able to go walking (two surgeries jan-march) I will be able to mellow out a bit... my poor kids