How is everyone doing??

Looks like the holiday season has everyone running crazy! I am stressed. It partly the holidays, brings back lots of memories..good and bad. I get to missing my family.. my mom and dad, who are no longer here, and I miss the good ole days when my sister and I were little and life was not complicated. It seems I mourn those lost years every year at this time. The other stressor (the more major one) is work. I'm burnt out, don't have anything left to give and I have been trying to get my boss to help me move to another job (unfortunately it's the way things are done at my job). So after 5 months of waiting on him, I have gone out and found myself two other opportunities. I presented them to him this week and well, the meeting was.... interesting. I actually have other managers right now working with him to make one of the opportunities happen. To me it almost doesn't matter which one, both has growth potential and both opportunities would mean (hopefully) I would never work for this clown again. We meet again on Wednesday and I hope he can commit to one of the opportunities. In the mean time, mainly yesterday, I found myself stress eating. Today is another day.. a day I get to spend with my family and a day to push work thoughts out of my head. So I am taking my son to the movies to see the new Chipmunk movie. I think it's more for me than him, but he said he wants to go Y'all have a great weekend! Diasne

Hi Diane yes, I too mourn for what was (or how I remember it anyway, which may be a different truth!!!). We spent 17 hours travelling yesterday. I've been eating crazily - airport and plane food all yesterday, then convenience food after arriving at the hotel as we don't have a car yet to get anyplace. So I'm stuffed full of carbs and feeling a tad miserable. I'm sure it's tiredness from running around like a crazy woman getting everything ready and jet lag. I was looking forward to some Texas sunshine, but it seems I've brought the British weather with me - it just about matches my feelings right now. This morning for breakfast all there was to eat was carbs carbs or more carbs or an apple with peanut butter. Oh goodie I thought, just what I fancy - something healthy and good for me, but the apple was yucky and tasted bad, so I ended up having half of my daughters waffle!!!!! Eating is difficult at the best of times, but when it's all out of my control what is around to eat - well lets just say I'm not doing good with it. Enjoy the movie, let us know what it's like. I may take my 7 year old daughter to see it. She's not too good with movies and gets scared easily - she freaked ou****ching ratatouille!!! What work do you do? I hope this new opportunity works out for you. So for you and I, tomorrow is a new day - even the next hour is a new beginning and now we know how to stop the spiral of eating and gaining weight out of control.

Ruth, I am glad you made it here safe! Hopefully you get a car today and can start getting around for healthier foods. The Chipmunk movie was cute. We had a good time and sitting there made me realize how grown up my little man is getting. The last time I attempted a movie with him was Happy Feet and we lasted all of 5 minutes. He made it through the whole movie. Laughing and dancing. For some of the music, he actually got up and shaked his little booty. Yes, the weather in Texas is a bit miserable at the moment. This morning it was raining cats and dogs, but it has cleared now. So hopefull the weather in DFW is better now. Diane

I think I am doing ok for the most part. It is crazy busy at work right now which I am not use to. For some reason December is always really slow.. well not this year. I am running calls everyday, writing reports and just staying so busy I dont have time to look up. As far as home.. its christmas and in the christmas light district that means at least 5000 lights up on the house you gotta maintain. blow ups that need to stay up, yard art that cant blow over. the list goes on, not to mention the christmas shopping, time with grandparents and regular life issues that arise. In the fore front is I AM FREEZING. i have never been this cold in my life. I bought some silk undergarments which are helping a lot but still.. I AM FREEZING. remember when you wore shorts and had the ac on during the winter cause you were hot.. OMG.. I have become a hot tea addict just to stay warm.. As far as wls and all that goes.. I am doing really well. I have maintained 120 now for a few months and am starting to get the hang of it.. well trying to. I dont eat enough I know but I am trying to get it up. Clothes shopping is terrible now. I use to love going but now nothing fits me. According to my waist size i am a zero to 2. there are not many people that small so there are not that many clothes for me. I cant buy in certain areas and have actually gone to the girl department to find things. yikes. Bt I like the way my body feels at this weight and will keep it here at least for a while. So that is how I am doing. glad to see everyone is still alive and doing ok. Carla

Carla, I don't handle the outside lights and decoration thing to well. So I keep things simple. I admire the folks that can hang the thousands of lights and put up all the lawn ornaments!! Did you ever think in a million years that you would have the clothing problem at the other end of the spectrum?? I remember how hard it was to find clothes before and as a size 10 it's a breeze to buy clothes. Wow, a 0 to a 2, you are just a tiny thing!! Diane

I have been busy getting my house ready for when I will be having my surgery. It has been a lot more work than I had thought it would be. My sister doesn't like my new bed, so I had to go out and get her one that would suit her back. Christmas gifts are bought, no decorations yet, I got the tree up today and will decorate tomorrow. I have had to rearrange things so that I can get around with crutches (no mean feat in my small house). The kids are all acting up, Christmas is a hard time when you are a foster kid. Too many bad memories, too many promises that have not been kept. There is no way that I can make that up to them and we all know it. Ruth, I hope that you can find some healthy food in Texas. When I visited there, I found that a lot of the food was deep fried and all you can eat buffets. Maybe my friend just took me to those places because she liked them! I hope that everyone has a safe holiday. I have a birthday this time of year, so it becomes busier than it needs to be sometimes. Holly

Hi Holly How long will your recovery be after your op? What a mixture of emotions you must be feeling... how many foster children do you have? I can imagine it must be a very difficult time for them and you. We used to foster babies - different problems to deal with. I'm not sure I would know how to care adequatley for the experiences children have been through. I admire you. Is it your birthday coming up? Ruth

Hi Ruth I am told it will be hard core pain for about two to three weeks, I am not able to drive for at least three weeks for the left knee and two months for the right knee. I have to promise to have live in help for the first three days and someone on call for two weeks. I am at the point of being a bit scared but knowing that it will be worth it in the long run. I hope that I don't get more nervous toward the date, I am not a nervous person but the thought of bone pain can get me going I fear. I have three kids right now, aged 11, 11, 12 all boys with psychiatric challenges. It is very sad this time of year because one of the boy's mothers died on Christmas (it will be two years this year). It is the casual comments that hurt them the most, one of my other boys is having a family visit for the first time this year and he is all excited. We were driving from the store the other day and they were talking about presents, and I gave them the whole talk about better to give than to recieve and he said that all that was important was that family gets together... and my other boy burst into tears and said that he couldn't see his mom cause she was in heaven and the other boy got mad because his mom is in Toronto. So now everyone is feeling bad... and nothing can really be done about any of it. I was born just before Christmas, that is why my name is Holly. Apparently I was supposed to be a boy and when a girl popped out, they had to come up with something else. That is the family lore around my name. My mom was born the day after (dec 23) and her name is Edna, so they did a better job with my name.

Holly, One of the important things with your surgery is the physical therapy afterwards. My mom had one knee done, hated the therapy, but forced herself to go as far as she could each time, which really helped with her recovery. It's sad that Christmas can be so trying for children. They haven't developed good coping mechanisms yet and tend to just act out. I guess all you can be is supportive and patient with them. Happy B'day (a bit early because I am going to forget later)! Diane

there are days that I can not believe that I can not eat more than I can and yet I do not gain or lose. there are days that I am perfectly happy with were I am and I do not want to change, but I continue to surprise myself. 3/4 of a taco and I am done. 3/4 of a hot pocket and I am done. 1 pancake and I am done. 1 slice of pizza and I am done. I am done shopping for the holidays. I am done decorating for the holidays and I have not even begun to cook for the holidays. which actually my family is happy that I am not making a big dinner. they love my cooking, but they do not really want a big spread. we are so un-american. ;) I am still working my tail off, 3 days before Christmas and I am proofing my last group session. it is taking forever because I really didn't enjoy it and I really do not want to do another one. I am still trying to get everything packed and in storage so that we can fix the house and put it on the market and move in 6 months. do not get me started on the stress of that endevour! I just want a nap!