A problem at work

Ok.. so I have been at the same job for 25 years and at this job area of work for over 3 years. My boss is a very nice older man but has a rep of being a ladies man. Now he has never approached me in any way so that is not my issue. All of sudden about 6 months ago he started acting weird, almost like he wont look or talk to me. I have spoken to him numerous times and asked if we are ok and he always says yes. Now I have a very lack job that as long as I show up each day, get my job done, he doesnt care what we do. All of a sudden, everything i do is under a micorscope, things that he has never had a problem with is now a problem. So he called me in the other day and told me.. he doesnt feel comfortable around me anymore.. that he cant trust me. I havent done anything to him or anyone for that matter. I stay in my office, travel to my appointments, do my work and leave. I rarely speak to anyone which is kind of the way our jobs work. It's actually pretty lonely around the office as we are all always traveling and coming and going. So what have I done to make him all of a sudden uncomfortable with me. he wont look at me, he barely talks to me and when he does he seems to struggle with the conversation. Is it because I have lost weight and I am not the person he has known for the past 25 years. I am not sure what to think. Has anyone experienced a change in their people at work because of their wls and changes in the way they look. I dont think my personality has changed any or that I am doing anything different than what I have been doing. What do you think... I told him we need to go to lunch and talk and work through his feelings. I really care about him and dont want this uncomfortablness to continue.

Do you think he might be sexually attracted to you now? That might make him uncomfortable and not be able to be open with you about it?

other then men can be idiots, I would march in and ask whats wrong... because your job is important to you and you want to get what ever is bothering him out in the open and get past it. I have found that my weight loss has effected my friendships.... I'm not the fat friend anymore... they treat me like I'm some competition...one friend barely talks to me anymore... then others who treated me badly (because I was heavy) are now being nice to me)... (I don't want anything to do with them)... its a strange thing and would make a great book... anyway I hope you guys work out the problem so you can do your job in peace...

Hi Carla! I tend to believe that he has a secret crush on you! He could have had a "dream" about you one night and that is all it took to make him uncomfortable around you now. Hee, hee! But, I think your idea of asking him to lunch to discuss it would be a good idea ... you could tell him that you are the same person and the only thing that concerns you is that he feels he can't trust you when you haven't done anything that would cause this. Maybe some bitter person you work with made a comment to him that isn't true and you could take this opportunity to make sure no one is bad mouthing you. I think being up front is a good thing ... let him know you care about his job and don't want any ill feelings from him. Deanna

hold the phone this man told you he can't trust you anymore and you stayed quiet, good night nurse tell me you're joking? Do you realize that there are legal ramification to what he said, do you realize that questioning someone's trust with no real reason is ridiculous and downright stinky? Come on Carla why are you taking this like a door mat? Good night nurse why are you making nice nice with him when he needs to be apologizing to you. ANDI

That's my Andi - tell it like it is. Although it helps to know where this guy is coming from and why he is acting and talking the way he is, at the end of the day, you have the right to confront him and not tak ethis lying down. You've said before that some of yoru co-workers don't 'get along' with you - maybe they have said something that needs to be put right, but this guy should have talked to you first abotu it, before making an opinion. Have it out with him - find out the cause or at least make him explain himself. Don't leave it to fester

I agree with you Andi, you can't work with someone and all of a sudden not trust them. I think something else is going on and Carla has every right to question his motives. Carla, you are a valued and reliable employee who has worked in the same place for 25 years? You deserve an explaination. The lunch is a good idea but if he refuses you need to schedule a meeting with him. Good Luck. Amy