Just Venting!!

Hi everyone, I am just airing my insides right now....I have trouble with my middle kid,who's 35 going on 2,has 4 kids,can't keep a job,owes almost his life in back child support! Anyway I have had his 2 kids,ages 4 years and 19 months for almost 2 weeks straight now.He put her in jail for domestic violence when I got the kids. They can't get along,been together for 5 years on and off. She is as bad as him,shes 35,had 8 kids,2 by my son.She had 3 of them taken away,1 of them her father is raising,so she only has 4 of them with her. She doesn't even deserve to have them!! Well I work at the school,so I am back to work now,I had them almost all summer. She is staying with her mom and her boyfriend in a one bedroom apartment,so thats why I have to care for the kids,no room ya know.... I have been dropping them off for her to "babysit",then of course,if I'm not right there after work she is calling looking for me!! Well, this morning I go to drop them off and her mom meets me at the door with her other two and says she didn't come home last night,out partying!Starts crying saying she can't take it anymore and she couldn't keep the kids!! Well, I told her she was going to have to,cause I had to go to work!! Geez...its her daughter! i felt bad leaving the kids there,but hey...I have to work,I have an 8 year old grandson living with me also. My hubby drives truck over the road....what kind of help do I get??? Its pretty bad when you look forward to going to work to get away from home!!! Then I wonder why I don't eat right and lose weight??? You'd think I'd be skinny as a rail from all this nervousness......no sleep running on empty pretty much! Then all my friends keep saying tell her no...you raised your kids,which is so true!! But I feel so sorry for the kids,its not their fault they have losers for a mom and dad!!!! Well I think I feel so much better now! ha!! sorry so long!

Oh My! sorry your going through all of that! what a great grandmother you are!!!!!!!!!! thank God they have you!

Thanks Jean.. I just wish I could keep them,I hate to teke it to court ..hire a lawyer and all that.Just if she was willing to give them to us! But then she would lose welfare money and would probably have to work!!! Thats what its all about!

Why don't you get DCF involved and see if they will take them away from her and give them to you? I am really sorry you are going through all of this!

Hi Jean What excatly is DCF? I am calling and have called welfare on her AGAIN on Monday. I guess I am going to call a lawyer,too. She is living at a motel now,salvation army paid for it,I guess.... She is mad at me now and I don't have the kids. I went off on her on Thursday night,think she probably wanted to go out and I told her I was alittle tired of all this and had things to do. I told her I work,take care of 3 kids,clean house,laundry,cook,have to take them to her in the mornings before work and she is just sitting at her moms doing nothing,not working or anything!! She got mad and said all I wanted was for her to sign papers,which I asked her to do,so if anything happens to the kids while in my care I can get some assistance for them,thats why I'm mad!!!!. The paper was just incase something would happen while in my care I could take them to the hospital,etc.... Then my hubby is mad cause they are staying in a motel!! Its easy for him,hes not here!! I know he would be and is looking for a different job to be home more to help out. But I just needed alittle break right now!! Thanks!

Oh Karen... My heart goes out to you and the children. As Jean has said, thank God they have you. I'm sure you have exhausted all the posibilties, but have you thought of officially fostering them through the state? That way, you would get more support from Child Protective Services. I wish there was something I could do to help - if there is anyone lurking reading this who has any helpful answers, PLEASE post and give Karen some advice. Maybe you could post an off topic on the main board - loads of people read it and maybe just one person has the info you need, and you can hook up? Lots of love & hugs Ruth

((((((((((((Karen)))))))))))))))))) i don't have an answer to you but i hope this hug gives you some strength to carry on and do what you have to do. These children didn't choose their parents so they need your help and guidance. You can't let stress rule your life, get some help get some counseling. I know my hospital has a support group for grandparents as care givers and if we do (we're a tiny hospital) then others must as well. Eating right and exercising is a choice you make, when you get home, pop the kids in a stroller and go for a walk, doesnt have to be a long walk but it clears your mind and the kids get to go out as well. Best of luck to you and may G*D Bless You with the strength and patience you need. ANDI