Stalled and depressed

Hello. I stumbled onto this site and signed on. This is the first time I have done this sort of thing so forgive me if I don't have the forum etiquette down pat. I had a RNY on 5/06 and have had absolutely no problems. Unfortunately, I have also had no weight loss in months. I have only lost around 78 pounds. At 173 ( 16 months out) I am far off from my goal of 138 and fear that this is as good as it gets. I looked at others successful profiles and think " why did I only lose 78 out of my goal of 100 to 112 pounds?" I am starting to get depressed and we all know what happens to us when we are fat and unhappy. Sometimes I wish I did dump. At least some negative reinforcement may help. Anyone out there with similar experiences and any words of advice. I have been trying to kick up the exercise. Has anyone joined WW or some other sort of organized program at this point in their course? Do I need a pat on the head or a kick in the _ss?

Hi Jay I have been questioning the same points. I lost 90lbs almost immediately and have spent the next year losing and gaining the same 10lbs, with about 30-40 to go. I have decided that I will take more notice of what I am eating, document, run through fitday and post it here. Knowing that I will be posting really helps me be accountable to more than myself (I am tricking myself and that seems to be pretty easy right now) It can be dangerous to compare yourself to others, I think that is what makes us lose hope that we are doing well. I look at the 100 lbs gone almost as nothing sometimes when I look at other's successes and that is a darn shame. I have wondered if there is some emotional reason that I have not lost all my weight yet. I have thought that maybe I am not ready to be perfectly thin yet, I think that I still have issues that need to be worked out and perhaps until I do, the weight won't leave me because I still need it. Bodies are amazing things, I believe that I get what I need not always what I want... Welcome to the site, I am pretty new to this one myself. Holly

You've taken a step in the right direction - you recognise that beign depressed is not going to help you. I've been a slow losing all along, which has been frustrating at times, but something I am now greatful for and work with it. Holly hit the nail on teh head - don't compare yourself wiht others - it is a sure fire wasy to depress yourself. We and our bodies are all different and have different needs. If you hang around this board, you'll get both a pat and a kick. It is a great board and has really helped me through the tough times. Go back and look at how you felt before wls - look at all you've acheived - look at the glass half full rather than half empty. Make a list and write it down of all the things you can do now that you couldn't before, write down how your life has changed for the positive. Post on the PMA post - positive mental attitude - sometimes it's a struggle for me, but it really does help Keep looking up - the sun is just behind a cloud right now, but if you look down you'll miss the beauty of it

You sound like me I sound like you And strangely enough, that makes me smile Knowing I dont struggle alone gives me strength and I hope for you too. We are a work in progress - and should really be honest with how far we haev come and know that to struggle with the last 20. 30, whatever pounds doesnt make us horrible ......we just have more work to do!!!! I can do it!!! And so can you!!! Kathryn

Hey Jay... nice to meet you.. this is a great web site for support and help. try using fitday or sparkpeople.com to monitor you intake each day. I find it really helps keep me on track and moving towards my goal. Every person is different and looses at different rates. Dont compare you self to others as it will only make you crazy. find what works for you and go with it. you will do great. stay with us and we will help you on this journey. take care and no )(*) kicking from me. Carla

Hi keep track of what you eat, either too much or too little will make you stall... and we are all different with our weight loss... only you know if your eating right, and if you are then you are fine and if your not then kick yourself in the tush!

Hi Jay, I am on the same boat as you...a girl that had surgery about a month after me called last night. She has been on a stall for a good 6 months,weighing the same,said she lost 80 pounds right away and then bam....quit.. But anyway,I know how you feel I have been stuck since the holidays! I guess I am just going to have to be satisfied with what I lost. It gets so depressing at times. But I look at it as at least I'm not gaining any either!! I will be out 16 months and we were told that it takes 18 to reach your goal.....don't think I will make it!! Hang in there,everyoneloses different,don't compare yourself with others! I even read where paople lose too much weight!! Don't think that will ever happen to me!! But you never know. Some people have been out for years and are still losing!! I have thought about diet pills even!!!

Yep...I've gone down the route of thinking about diet pills too, and looked them up on the internet, but then decided that they are only a tool, just like wls is only a tool. Sadly there is no magic pill, no magic surgery, etc. It still seems to come down to us at the end of the day, but these things CAN and DO help us on our journey. I woudl say though that talk to yoru doctor first before going on diet pills - they may be able to help you in a better way

I hope I am doing this posting thing correctly so that the response goes out generally and not just to the last person that responded. Thanks for the pats and the kicks. Its nice to talk to someone about personal things and still maintain a degree of anonymity. ( yes, i used spell check) I will try the online journaling thing. Maybe it will provide some more accountability for me and/or discover hidden calories (lurking and stalking me). I wish I could invest myself more in the power of positive thinking or the que sera sera attitude but that's not me. Or at least not me with any ease. Does anyone have any experience or anectdoctal experience with using something like Jenny Craig or WW post by pass. What would be the more suitable? In the meantime I continue to plod along as the JayTurtle. On the plus side I was able to respond to someone else's preop post and let her know that "no in fact, you can have the surgery and not end up with boobs that look like a tennis ball in a tube sock" Whoo for me!

no two people are the same, no two metabolisms are the same, no two surgeries are the same and no two anything including identical twins (I have a set) are the same. that being said. you may be where you need to be and you may not, the only one that can say for sure is not your doctor or your spouse, but you. just in my own household, my doctor said that if I didnt do it plan A, I would burn in the flames of HELL. my husband still gives me the evil eye when I eat a carbohydrate and I am 2 lbs below goal. some thought that my drastic diet (quantity and quality) the first 6 months was unhealthy, (and it was) but it was EFFECTIVE and I was able to hit goal in 6 months. I can tell you straight up that it is not about the surgery, at this point, you have to live off what you learn, that you really do not need 2200 calories a day to survive, you do quite nicely on 225 calories. that you really do not need to eat stuff that will make your dump to teach yourself a lesson, you can just 'know' that dumping sucks and that the world spinning is not a desirable response to oreos and milk. ;) I was in the store today, and normally my bill would have been $135 for the weeks worth, but I skated out with $35 and did fine. I observed that they had a new line of organi**** creams and I evaluated my desire vs my need for a quart and opted out, I did just get the oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookie fixin's that I went for and THAT was it. the last 18 months has just been education, now that school is out, we have to live what we learned, and no rely on our pouch, but rely on what we have learned. personally exercise has never done it for me, it is not a turn on and so it was a relief that I was able to get to goal with limiting food intake only. I created a body image that I can maintain through my current lifestyle, not one that was unrealistic. I just have to be vigilant about not stretching the pouch. me. i am a hard @$$ and I vote for kick your booty off the chair and modify your tude a bit and your intake a bit and go out and be frickin happy.