I'm back, tail between legs...:chair: :help:

Hi all - **WARNING: This is a book in length" I was never usually a poster, usually a responder to others' posts and instead got support by reading and responding to everyone's posts. I'm also not computer savvy (it took forever just for me to figure out how to upload photos), so my profile has nothing but pictures. I've been AWOL from the message boards, logging into my food diary, and exercising regularly since April. I reached my goal weight of 140 around March, but since April I have regained 20 pounds. Not all of it is within my control, but much of it is, and I know that a lot of it was due to going "offline" from the message board. I did continue to weigh in every Friday, but I kept thinking that "this is temporary" or a "correction". I postponed my 1 year follow up appointment because I was too ashamed to go in until I had relost the weight. I can't postpone it forever, so I see her in 2 weeks. Let's call it the "15 month" visit. I have had fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome since I was 17. It is a chronic muscle and joint pain condition combined with fatigue. It is usually treated with antidepressants. In October, since I had lost so much weight, I was overmedicated (high blood pressure, resting heart rate above 120) my medications had to be lowered to compensate. The effects of changes in antidepressant doses usually take several weeks to show up. Starting in January, I started having bad flare ups of symptoms - mainly fatigue, but also pain, and saw my primary care physician to make sure that there was no physical cause of my symptoms, like B12 deficiency. She did blood tests and told me that "there is nothing medically wrong with you" and referred me back to my psychiatrist, who was the one originally prescribing the antidepressants. Starting in February, I have been going through a series of medication changes in an attempt to control my symptoms. By April, my symptoms had gotten a lot worse, I had trouble working, and was too fatigued and drowsy (from the pain medications) to exercise regularly. Basically since April, I have spent most of my time in bed, working about half time. (Fortunately with the job I have, I can work from home in bed with my laptop. I also had the extra excuse that they still didn't have an office ready for me - I just got one last week so this working from home thing is going to have to be reduced). This prolonged flare-up of symptoms + combined with medications that promote weight gain + taking pain drugs that are disinhibiting (ie, reduce my ability to say "no" to foods I shouldn't be taking) + wanting to eat comfort foods + lack of exercise + not participating on the message boards + not exercising = weight gain. Now that I am feeling a little bit better I want to turn this ship around, starting with returning to the message boards, listing my food intake at home, and doing as much exercise as I can at this point. Just returning to this board feels like a big step. I appreciate any support you can give me - I really need it. I'm so proud of how the rest of you are doing. You all look beautiful! Thanks for reading. You are all awesome! Heather

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with weight gain. We are all here if you need us.. be good to yourself. get control of that ship again and head back to the place you want to be.. you can do.. you know we all know it.. Big hug to you

BIG (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you feal better soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jean

I too have been a way for a good few months and that combined with othere factors has led me to gain nearly 10 lbs and I wasnt at goal yet. I too, am here again looking for inspration and guidance to eat and live the way i know will contribute to my good health. I type this just so you dont think you are alone! I feel that way a lot in this journey which is so personal and hard for those who arent going thru this to truly uunderstand. Hang in there! Are the meds helping now? Have you leveled out? If not they surly will soon. Keep posting and keep your chin up! Kathryn

I'm so sorry to hear what you'e been going through :0( But...I am glad you've come back - no need to have your tail between your legs - it should be up and wagging, just like mine is (metaphorically!!) as I am pleased to see you - and others who are coming back too We really do need everyone here - we all have struggles and can help each other through them...give when you can, take/receive when you need to! I know I do