Just so you know ...

I just want to put my two cents out there ... I want EVERYONE to know that I am NOT here seeking someone to "fluff" my ego over my lack of self esteem with running. The ONLY reason I express my insecurities is in hopes that someone else out there may be feeling the same way I do but see that I dig past those insecurities and keep on signing up for races. Maybe my insecurities will prompt them to try to move past theirs. Yes, I run because I choose to and because I can. I am able. But my mind is always self-doubting. Everyone has insecurities about something. No one is perfect, no one. So when I come here expressing my insecurties, I am entitled to them. You all may think I'm addicted to exercise or that I'm coming here seeking praise. I don't care what you think. What I think is that there are a lot of people that need to get off their butts and exercise to make this new "tool" work to its fullest capacity. If you are sick of staying the same weight, get off your keester and try something new to kickstart your body. That is MY two cents ... I exercise and I enjoy it. There may be people who exercise and hate it. Or there may be people who don't exercise at all. Honestly, do whatever you feel is best for you. In my opinion, we all could stand to exercise ... it's good for us! So please do NOT flame me for enjoying going to the gym. Please do NOT flame me for being insecure. That is part of who I am and who I will continue to be. I never will be perfect so don't expect me to act like it! Just my two cents, Deanna

First and foremost let me apologize to you in a public forum because in no way was I flaming you. Your insecurities are part of who you are, you're right and I don't think for even half a moment I wanted you to be perfect; I'd like you to be the best Deanna you can be. I wanted you to rise above your insecurities because I'm proud of all the racing you do, I could never run like that, not because I physically can't, but simply because I don't choose to. As for what is a flame and what isn't, that's up for debate i guess because it wasn't an intentional flame but you and Carla sure took it that way and I'm sorry it was never meant to be. I guess the questions can be asked of support, what exactly is support for another human being? When does support cross the line to enabling and co-dependency? I take the mother bird approach to support, I love the baby birds immensely and then I think they need to be kicked out of the nest so they learn to fly on their own. There isn't a mother bird alive willing to let her babies hang out in the nest until THEY are ready she knows inherently when her babies are ready and pushes them to be more then they think they can be! Deanna i'm so sorry I don't provide you with the support you need. Perhaps I just don't know you well enough to know what you need. I wish you well on your journey and I hope it takes you to the most wondrous places! ANDI

Deanna You are an amazing person!!!!!!!!!!!! What you have done has been no less than an inspiration to us all.... I think some worry about you when you get weak that's all. Personally I admire and support you... I love to read about your races, so keep posting... I live vicariously through you sometimes... your friend Jean

Deanna, I just have one thing to say. YOU GO GIRL!!! Joe

I must have missed something somewhere - sorry that you're feeling flammed. It's nice to hear compliments about ourselves after years of feeling so unloved!

I would like to openly appologize for getting you in the middle of this. You and I have a special bond that many others do not know exist. Because we are at goal and enjoy exercising we communicate at a different level. I admire you so much you will never know and wish that my knees would allow me to run like you do, but this will never happen for me. I come here for support as well and many times because we are ahead of others on the loosing end our feelings are dismissed or we are though to be boasting or insentive to others. I know I have felt this when i post things about myself even though I know I deserve the same props as others. Many do not understand the end of the journey or the new part of the journey we are in. I bring that to them in hopes they see the struggles that come when you arrive here, not to be slamed and my feelings nulified because I should be happy for where I am. In truth you all.. you dont know. I am fighting other issues that many of you may not be fighting. Maintaince and trying to learn how much to eat is more tough than it ever was to just loose weight. that was easy because we all know how to diet.. we have been doing it for years. I admit I was hurt by some responses to my post and felt slighted by the very people I have supported no matter what they had to say. I appologize for starting this whole thing... Again everyone has a right to feel be supported and share their experiences without others judging their motives behind them.