QOTD

Well its been a year now.. A time for reflection of the past year. What and where were you mentally and physically a year ago. We knew our date by now and were waiting to have our wls. What was going through your head? One year later.. were are you mentally and physically? What is going through you head right now? A year ago today I knew my surgery was just a week away and I was excited. I did have fears but they were not a major part of my feelings. I was so sick from all my comoribities I was concerned I was gonna die if I didnt have this surgery and worried that with all my problems I may not make it through surgery. I guess in my head I saw this as the only answer to get my weight under control and to start living my life again. I worried I would miss food and never be able to enjoy the foods I did before surgery. In a lot of ways that is true because I dump on fatty foods, sugars. I am affraid of breads and straches, but I dont seem to miss them so thats a good thing. Now a year later I can honestly say.. WOW.. did I think I would be below my goal range. that I would feel as good as I do now.. that I would enjoy going to the gym... that I would give up pretty much all my former life such as computer gaming, eating, sitting on my butt all day for a life that is active and full of life. I dreamed it could happen... but for it to actually happen.. what a wow this is. I look now and I see the person I wanted to be.. the person I needed to be for myself and my family.. and I see a whole new world ready for me to explore and dive right in to. I still feel that first pull back of I cant do that.. but than I realize.. yes I can.. some things are becoming more natural, but I do feel the old self wanted to stop me because of my (imagined weight). I am still that fat person in the mirror many times with problems of perception (can I really be skinny now). I hope that in time these feelings goes away and I can finally be comfortable in my skin and who I am now. This journey was so fast my mind has yet to catch up. I too play the game, am I bigger than you to ppl walking in stores. most times I am smaller than them as my family says.. i just dont see it. Yes.. Yes.. yes.. I would do this again in a heartbeat.. yes.. yes.. yes.. am I happy with what I have accomplished... yes.. yes.. yes.. do I love the new person I am.. I am working on that... yes yes yes.. Life is good.. yes.. yess. yes.... you guys mean the world to me.. thank you so much for all you have been in my life over this past year. You are my friends, my council, my mentors, my reality checks, my support, my shoulder to cry on.. you guys are the greatest and I wouldnt trade this special bond we share for the world. Congrats on all of your successes no matter how big or small.. they are yours to own and be proud of.. I luv you all.. Carla