Discrimination sucks

You know when I weighed 264 pounds people acted like i didnt exist. they walked by looking down, away or anywhere else just so they didnt have to act like they saw me. I was used to it I guess. over weight people would talk to me.. middle of the road weight people would talk to me but the "pretty" ppl didnt. When I started loosing weight I noticed ppl where more open to me and talked to me. They were actually nice and complimentary. they actually seemed to want to talk with me. Now a year later and down a 132 pounds.. and in a size 3 pants I am experiencing a new brand of discrimination. People at work wont talk to me.. they act like they hate me.. what did i do to them. They pick on me and what I wear saying I'm cold because I am wearing tiny clothes now. the pick on me when we go to lunch as a group function... "I would never have that $%^#% surgery and have to give up food.. you're stupid. Heavy people wont talk to me because I am thin, middle of the road ppl wont talk to me cause I "look better than them." and skinny ppl wont talk to me cause, I dont even know why.. "they look better than me." In the real world its about the same except at least I dont know them. When I was heavy they oink at you, make mean comments... When you're thin they are affraid to talk to you or jealous.. still havent figured that one out.. I do admit more ppl talk to me more now and offer to help me at stores and such, but it's not that kind of discrimination I am talking about.. Woman are worried you want their man.. Men cant look you in the eye to talk to you or just dont tlak to you at all.. what gives. Has anyone experienced this. In society you cant be to big or to thin to fit in and be treated nice. I have gone from one extreme to the other. Thanks for letting me vent.

(((((((((((Carla)))))))))))))))))) i'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you did NOT do the hand mirror trick I told you about! Why is a strong, pretty, outgoing, successful woman letting asswipes put her down, especially at work? Girl you just keep on being you and I'll keep on loving you for it, how's that? ANDI

It's tough when my department only has a whole 6 asswipes in it and none of them talk to me or at least talk nice to me. I am isolated from the rest of the center so I get pretty lonely sitting here all day with no one to talk to .. except you wonderful people.. when you got the time to come on line and keep me company. I know I'm whinning.. I'm sorry.. just feeling kind of alone right now.

buy a plant, a gold fish, put up a mirror, pictures of the kids and Jo, get a radio, anything so you don't feel so alone. Honey you need to put those asswipes in place or you might as well put welcome on your forehead! I'll talk with you i've got nothing going on right now. I'm sorry you feel so all alone...hell i'm sorry for so many things lately i can barely stand to look at me lately. Hugs, ANDI

i was so mad when she said.. "the reason you're so cold is because of the tiny clothes your wear and you're to skinny" I told her I would rather be skinny and cold than hot and fat.. she is SMO herself.. she didnt like what I said and told all my co workers I said they were fat.. I never said that.. it is so ridiculous.. might as well not even talk to anyone if they are gonna turn what I say around.

I've noticed this lately too. When I was severely overweight, everyone pretty much ignored me. No one really talked to me or offered help to me. Now people talk to me a lot. And I've noticed that men talk to me, which NEVER happened before! But the other thing I've noticed lately is that girls glare at me or give me the cold shoulder. What is up with that? Are they threatened in some weird way? I have to admit that I like it that people talk to me more now, especially getting some extra attention from the men folk! Makes me feel kinda good! I just don't understand the cold shoulder from other women! Deanna

Exactly. Men talk more to you but the woman.. they are like cats hissing at you.. My two co-workers just glare and growl when I walk in the office. It's weird how the reactions have changed from one extreme to the other.. We could talk jealousy too.. oh my god.. jo has a fit any time I talk to anyone.. she is so jealous it's to the point where I may have to shoot her to save her from a stroke or something.. its bad.. I'm not even sure how to act with her right now.. Let one of my friends call or want to come by and I know I am in for a long night of fighting with her..

yes, I am finding that it is a whole new world out there. I am wearing strange clothes and feeling 'out of my element' now, my 21 year old daughter helps me shop, she knows that I do not want to 'dress 21' but I do want to wear clothes that 'fit' and you know that you can not trust a sales person to tell you the truth. so now I am wearing skorts and sleeveless and form fitting and I am getting 'checked out', yesterday I got some looks because I was wearing sandals that did not go with my dress, but my toe hurt, so I had to make do. now I know I need to pick up some 'dress' sandals' and start dressing the part of the other humans. most of the people that I come in contact with each day do not know me. that includes the people that KNEW me before. they do not recognize me. I can stand right there and talk to them and they do not know that they have known me for 10 years. people are just weird. I made an impression last night, I went to my son's school music recital, and I wore a DARLING black lace skirt and a tight tank top with lots of cream lace. very cute. I swear, there were 20% skinny people in the crowd and 80% fluffy people, no one gave me bad looks, just LOOKED. I kept my tummy sucked in and still felt 'fat' which is still 'from within' not without. (granted my dh, commented (not meanly) about my deflated intertube around my tummy) but he cheerfully noticed that my batwings are shrinking. so back to the topic.. MOST people talk to me the same. more people 'help' me because they think that I am too frail to pick something up. and I get a lot more acceptance from the general public than I did before surgery. I do not share that I had surgery, so I do not get any more backlash about it. my pet peeve with one lady last week was she seriously thought that I would not be able to get down a WHOLE arbys small shake. heehee took me the same amount of time as it would have a year ago. I think it goes back to high school, people will believe in us, what we believe in ourselves. if you 'believe' that you fit in, you do. it is more about 'projection' than about what others perceive.

Its funny isn't it? Ya know I get it opposite here. People actually are nicer to me since I have lost my weight. Which it really makes me mad,cause I'm not anybody different! Guys are more tenative and its like hey..you didn't even talk to me before--so don't bother being nice now!! The girls..it just feels nice to hear,hey thats the same size as me or you weigh less than me!!!!

I'm with Karen. Both men and women are nicer to me now. I am a lot more outgoing now too. The one thing that I do now a lot more than I used to is to compliment other women more. If I think they have on a pretty pair of shoes, I'll tell them I love their shoes!! Before I would have just kept it to myself. Hugs, Darlene