Stranger in the mirror

Who is that I see in the mirror? Where is Ruth, what have they done with her? I don't know this person I see looking back at me. It's going to take a while to get to know her, but I know I'm going to like her, and that she is going to be my best friend. Friendships don't grow overnight, nor is my friendship with the woman in the mirror going to. The other person I used to see in the mirror was the fat me, but this is the real me. I can see she has worked hard to get where she is today. I can see she has worked hard to turn her life around. I can see forgiveness in her eyes, for all the mistakes she makes. I can see pride in her accomplishments. I can see love for herself. Well, I will see that if I keep looking hard enough. You see, my mirror is distorted, and I don't see a true reflection in it. The troubel is that the reflection keeps changing. I think I've got used to it and it goes and changes again. I think I mostly see memories of what I used to see, and now I need to wait for the mirror to become clear again, less distorted so I see a reflection that if not totally true is closer to the truth than now. And if I keep looking, I WILL see the real, new me. Who do you see in your mirror?

Good G*D Almighty that's just brilliant Ruth. I see Andi in the mirror, the true Andi the one that walks with her head up and with purpose. The only Andi that i didn't even recognize is gone but this new Andi is really the old Andi revisited. Thank you for being so eloquent and I'll be your friend no matter what Ruth i see in the mirror. ANDI

Thank you Ruth.. YOu always know the right things to say to make us all feel better.. You are such an awesome person. I look in the mirror and I dont know who I see. The person I expected is so different than the one i see. I am not sure what I expect to see but I look at this person much harsher than I look at others. I have always been very easy going with others. Accepting their faults, knowing they are human and not perfect. I am understanding, supportive and always there to make them feel better. That is not true with myself. I have absolutes, hard to reach expectations, and down right rigid goals for myself. I wont eat bread, I wont miss workouts, I cant do this, I cant do that or I will fail. If I fail I should just give up and I eat again. This is counterproductive to the person I want to be. I need to accept that I am only human. that I am doing great and should be proud of all i have accomplished so today is a new day. Ms. Hyde is back in the house.. I pledge to myself.. I am a great person, I look and feel fantastic and I have accomplished so much. Look at who I am today; not tommorrow because who I am today is so wonderful. I can make mistakes and I can learn and grow. Allow me to be who I am and let me grow to be a better person inside and out. Take me as I am, do the best I can and love me for the person I truely am. I am ok, I am good and I am someone that you can be proud of with all my faults and successes. Carla.. you are doing great. Now lets look in that mirror again. What do I see.. I think I see a smile coming and thats a good thing. I look great, I feel great, and if I loose more weight so be it. If i stay here so be it. But who I am today is ok.... Enjoy it. Thank you again Ruth for the gentle slap to bring me back to reality in both your post you made to me.

AMEN to that Carla...***preach it sister*** Hee hee. We are always toughest on ourselves. You're not the only one - me too. Hope the slap wasn't too painful It was meant as a reminder for me as well as all of us on this board. I know sometimes I forget just how far I've come. I just look at how far I've still got to go to be where I want to be. But will I recognise that place when I get there??? I hope I can learn from what you and others are going through...and put into practice what I preach!!!

Thank you for your lovely post Ruth. Your calm, kind spirit truly shines through your writings. When i look in the mirror now, i see who i used to see glimpses of when i looked a year ago. I see a strong woman, who has strong arms, legs, shoulders, and back. A strong woman who happily lifts her family and loved ones when the need arises. I see a 45 year old woman, who is looking forward to seeing what the rest of life has to bring. I see a healthy woman who has peace in her life despite trials and pain. These are a few of the things i see. i see a survivor. deb

Ha ha, I wish my famiy thought I was calm!! I'm more like a raging tiger at times, when they frustrate me and drive me up the wall....grrrrr Yes Deb, you are a survivor. But not just someone who is hanging onto life by their fingertips. As you say, you are a strong woman, and are someone who others are able to lean on in their times of need. Through adversity you have come through with more life skills that you realise, which will in time reveal themselves. The peace you have now is a peace beyond what cir****tances around you can give, it is an inner peace which is a lasting peace. This is what gives you strength - hold onto it. It is a precious gift, which you can pass onto others. The more you give, the more you will receive of this peace...

very good! I do not know the girl in the mirror either. I have no idea who she is, what she has planned for me and my family. it is so very surreal. one day at a time, that is how I am taking it.

You'll get there Kat. As you say, one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day (But that may have something to do with all their burocracy (sp?) and lack of co-ordination!!!!! )

Ruth you look wonderful..... I dont know the person I see, she is new to me and I am getting to know her more and more each day.