QOTD - Giving Carla A Break

Have the relationships in your life changed any and if so, for the good or the bad? My very dear friend and I don't really speak much anymore, she told me I was no fun since i didnt' want to go out to eat all the time. I asked her if we could go get coffee, work out, go shopping, get our nails done anything but go out to eat all the time and she didnt' like that. I miss her very much but you've got to lose something in order to gain something else! The relationships with my family are all better and I like that, I dont' have mood swings anymore so i dont' frighten my children (ahhh sugar and carb addiction at its finest). Hugs, ANDI

I have lost a few friends along this journey as well. We had two things in common.. eating and obesity. Now that I dont do either they we dont seem to be able to find things to do together.. shopping, exercise, anything healthy is like tabbo to them. I have new friends now with the same goals as myself and I am doing fine with them. Again.. true friends are the ones that except you no matter where u are heading in life and the occassional friends are only there as long as you have something to offer them. Family life is better. I love doing things with the kids now and getting out and having a life. Before wls I was a lump that sat at the pc and played world of warcraft for 10+ hours a day. the kids were lucky if i did anything with them. Life is so much better. My relationship with my other half is much better too. she has always been a busy, get out and do things and I got left behind more times than not. Last year we almost ended after 16 years of marriage. that is much better now and she seems more devoted than she ever has. We still have some issues we are working on but I feel that we will get those handled and continue to spend our lives together with a more healthy, more happy life that I will be living long enough to enjoy it.

Yes, very defintely they have changed. I have found that as I have been more able to have boundaries in my eating I am more able to draw boundaries in my relationships. I tend to always put myself out for my friends - a pattern that I have seen happening over the years and I set myself up in unbalanced friendships where I do all. Interestingly the more I have boundaries in my eating/portion control etc etc, I am not allowing myself to always do all the running in my relationships. As a consequence, friendships that I thought were very strong have turned out not so good. This has happened in my family too - my Dad and sisters! I am changing and realising my part I have played in disfunctional relationships and how I have been drawn to strong people who have been dominant in the relationship. Almost in alignment with food being dominant in my life if that makes sense! One positive is that my husband is so proud of me and makes it known when we visit with friends that we haven't seen for a while. Embarrasing, but he says, look at Ruth, don't you think she's done well losing all this weight, doesn't she look good, and then will touch me - put his arm around me or something. If you knew him you would know this is very unlike him. It feels wonderful having him so proud of me.

That is all so true and right on point. I am stronger too with friends.. its great to take control when u feel u didnt have it before.. That is so great and I never really thought about it. You are totally right though.. That is so wonderful that your husband is so supportive of you like that. I am so happy for u.. I know u are beaming from ear to ear.

My best friend is 98lbs and eats like a bird, so its kinda fun that way for me.. but my husband who loves looking at females...LOL has found a cute smaller wife who will put that low cut top (not like a hooker)on push them up and strut...LOL so I told him if he wants to look at others,I might as well give guys something to look at too...LOL.. so the other night when we went out dancing he would not let me walk alone to the bathroom...LOLMy family and I, are and have always been, close