The Givers and The Takers...andi ramblings

In this world there are people who are here to support us, day in and day out, we may not like what they have to say to us but they are here and they are making this work for them. The people who are here for you and respond and listen those are the givers, they are people you can count on in thick and thin to help you when you need it, cheer you when you did it and offer an ear when they can. They can be your internet buddies or your real life buddies it doesn't really matter. Then there are the takers, they need us just as much but they won't tell us they need us, we just have to know. They don't post they don't cheer you on but they take whatever wisdom we impart and perhaps they use it when they can or don't when it isn't pertinent. We must cheer for them when they succeed even if they've given us nothing in return. We pray for them when they dont' even know it and we ask g*d to forgive us when we think badly of them for just taking. Which side of the coin do you fall on? Does it depend on the day? For myself I am a giver...i enjoy giving people whatever knowledge or opinions i have, my husband will tell you i'm a taker, i give myself to everyone else but him. My mother and siblings will tell you i'm a giver to a fault, i give of myself without saying no when i need to even if it means that i'm put out. I feel i go between the two, I have gotten as well as given on this board and the experience has made me richer, in my life i give often because i feel it's what needs to be done and thankfully, I have the ability to do it. Just some thoughts. I'll cheer for the takers, but dont' think for one moment it's not through gritted teeth, I do ask G*D to forgive me for this weakness but then he just gives me another opportunity to give....and I take it willingly. perhaps if you've been a taker today it's time to be a giver, if you have given of yourself today, it's time to be selfish and do something just for you. Hugs, ANDI

I consider myself a giver and a taker. I want to help you all as much as I can.. support you, be there for your ups and downs. I do have to say that i get as much from you as I give. I have learned so much and you guys keep me motivated to stay on course with this journey. I couldn't do it without you. I love and care deeply for each and everyone of you.

right back atcha sugar butt! Hugs, ANDI

I'm a giver mostly - to my detriment! I tend to give until I can give no more and then go and hide away or break off the relationship. Not a good way to function which is why i'm working on it. That said, I've got so much from you guys here. I could not have got this far without you. Thank you for your friendship patience and support you have given me. Thank you for being givers

Hi honey! I could not have gotten as far as i have without your wit, your realism and your passion, thank you for all you've done and will continue to do. Good job working on the saying no thing, I have to do the same, but like you, we givers have a tough time doing that. Hugs, ANDI

I am both a giver and taker, you guys are like family we share things with each other get support from each other and perhaps help others who are more comfortable lurking. I am glad to have you guys with me as we all go through this journey.

I have no clue, according to 'some' I am wretched and horrible sinner, to others, a sweet and loving saint. I think that in the end it all balances out.

I think you've summed it up Kat and that we could all come under those descriptions at different times depending on the day, hour, minute, moment in time! Wretched & horrible sinner v sweet loving saint..... Whichever, we still luv ya Kat BTY, how is Jordan doing (& mommy?) Good to see you back

well... I think about the amount of strength and support it took for me to GET HERE... and I am truly grateful. the fact that I have been A.W.O.L. for the last 9 weeks... but then again... 2 weeks visitation on location 3000 miles from home in motel 6, and then 3 weeks to pull together a large formal wedding on a microscopic budget.. and then 3 weeks to get the nursery ready and the vehicle situation resolved for my very pg daughter, and then 10 days later pull off a baby shower admist entering an entire year of bookkeeping and then totally doing my taxes for the entire year in 48 hours. I am freaking amazed that I have survived. today was TYPICAL.. I looked all over the kitchen for breakfast, couldnt find anything good, skipped breakfast and had a 20 oz coffee. lunch, well, I got hijacked into going to the laundry mat with my parents, I did eat a cliff bar, drank a 20 sports drink, took cash so that I could walk across the street for food, some beef and broccoli, they said no, wanted to eat out tonight but then they were driving and we didnt. so while waiting, I did get a bag of animal crackers. by 4 pm I was completely shaking and getting downright sick, went to the kitchen, faced with the exact same problem, no freaking food. I was in tears. I had put a 1 oz chicken precooked in there, and a 1 oz steak precooked in there, but it was GONE. okay, so what exactly is no food? well yes, there is food. there are eggs, that I can not get down. there is yogurt that I can not get down, there is cereal, but no milk, there is grapefruit, but ick, there is cheese, which is what I finally ate, just cheese. I need more choices. i had asparagus in the freeze, what I have had the last two meals. just so freaking frustrating. as for the rest of my life, that is just so difficult. I love my daughter. she has the right to screw up as she sees fit. I am trying to be supportive. BUT..... she circ'ed him, and now it is infected and swollen. aaauuuggghhh he is breastfed, she gave him formula with iron and is SUPRISED that he has horrible tummy ache, terrible gas and really bad diarrhea. BREATHE... BREATHE... in through the nose, out through the mouth, in through the nose, out through the mouth, there are three areas that just freaking get me going.... carseats, there is a right way and a wrong way, I spent DAYS researching seats and learning how to get them installed and it is an obsession I know.. but I completely go off on car seats. breastfeeding, there is a right way to feed a baby and a wrong way, I can not for the life of me see, think, or believe that anyone can not 'do it' other than the dad. but I have some ideas about that too. hehehe breast is best, it takes time, no baby is born knowing, and no two babies are the same, each time, the mother has to learn all over again, but it can be done successfully. just have to be vigilant. circumcising, there is just no civilized reason to circ a boy or a girl, I just can not believe or support it. my father, my fil, my grandfathers, my grandfather in laws, my husband, my sons, none are circ'ed and I just can not image that she would willingly do it to a perfectly adorable and sweet little guy. *sigh* mommy is worried that she is doing this, that, or the other wrong. I am trying so disparately to be supportive, and not judgmental but it is extremely difficult. since he has been born, she has had him to the pediatrician on friday, monday, wednesday, and friday. so she is being the normal high maintenance parent. today the ped suggested supplementing with formula, I could just strangle them. him for suggesting and her for listening, she has a ton of milk, there is no reason to supplement. now she is engorged and the baby had a tummy ache. grrr.

Sorry things are so stressful for you. I do have to tell you that I had to give my kids a bottle. I never produced enough milk for them to survive. My sister (god bless her soul) had her baby 1 ½ years ago and almost starved her to death trying to only breast feed her and not listening to anyone about her breast milk not being sufficient. The baby became underweight and got sick. Some of us are need to supplement. My daughter and granddaughter have been over this week and you might as well know right now you may forever be pulling your hair out about the decisions she makes that you don't agree with... LOL (God knows I get more grays around my daughter) (bed time consistency/how a child needs a routine) (I could go on for days)...LOL Anyway hang in there..(((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))