may support group now in session

What are the health risks associated with obesity? There are more than 30 medical conditions that are associated with obesity. Individuals who are obese are at risk of developing one or more of these serious medical conditions, causing poor health or, in severe cases, early death. In fact, more than 112,000 annual deaths are attributable to obesity. The most prevalent obesity-related diseases include: ? Diabetes ? High blood pressure ? High cholesterol ? Heart disease ? Stroke ? Gallbladder disease ? Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) ? Osteoarthritis ? Sleep apnea and respiratory problems ? Some cancers What causes obesity? Obesity is due to an individual taking in more calories than they burn over an extended period of time. These "extra" calories are stored as fat. Although there are several factors that can lead to this energy imbalance in obese individuals, the main contributors are behavior, environment and genetics. Behavior In today's fast-paced environment, it is easy to adopt unhealthy behaviors. Behavior, in the case of obesity, relates to food choices, amount of physical activity you get and the effort to maintain your health. Based on food choices, many people now select diets that are calorie-rich, but nutrient-poor. This behavioral problem also relates to the increase in portion sizes at home and when dining out. Environment Environment plays a key role in shaping an individual's habits and lifestyle. There are many environmental influences that can impact your health decisions. Today's society has developed a more sedentary lifestyle. Walking has been replaced by driving cars, basic physical activity has been replaced by technology and nutrition has been overcome by convenience foods. Genetics Science shows that genetics play a role in obesity. Genes can cause certain disorders which result in obesity. However, not all individuals who are predisposed to obesity become obese. Research is currently underway to determine which genes contribute most to obesity. So my begining question today for us to all discuss will be. What factors do you feel played a role in your obesity. Was it genetic, environmental or a little bit of all of it. explain your answer. Let us know who you feel it all began. Deanna you get the next one.. can we decide who often we want to post our support group meeting...once or twice a week to give everyone a chance to respond and comment to each other.. let work it out.

So this is about being real guys.. so here it goes. I did not have a happy childhood. I think in many ways this affected the person I am today. To start with.. my mother was very abusive. I cant count the times she beat me til she passed out or I did. My family is from the south and believe in spanking, but my mom always went way beyond that. I always felt like I was an accident and she never really wanted me. She actually told me she hated me often and was gonna put me up for adoption. As I said.. it wasnt the best childhood a kid would want. This played a major role in my self esteem. I didnt feel like I mattered in life to anyone. To further this feeling.. my mother always had someone around her that she was "caring for." (i question whether she was a closet gay for years). She always had people living with us that she would dote over and do anything for. I was always an afterthought. I remember this one girl that was really over weight.. my mother helped her loose all her weight. I think I started eating more just to get her attention.. but all she did was tell me I was fat and belittle me. Another rule in the house was I had to eat everything on my plate and i did not fill my plate. if i didnt I knew I would get a spanking so I would force all the food down no matter how full i was. I still have a hard time leaving food on my plate today. I always weighed between 160 and 175 in my hs years... In college I went to counceling because I had a lot of problems as you can guess. I would throw up if someone would yell at me and got hurt a lot.. they thought this was self inflicted so to continue school the college mandated me to go seek counciling. I was also considered slow in school and never received a good education in math and english. as you all have seen my spelling is terrible..lol.. but I have succeeding in school.. thank goodness for spell check.. Environmentally fast food was making a craze during my early years and I took part in it. I ate out all the time and i ate to much.. by the age of 20 I was almost 200 pounds and went on a diet... I did loose it and kept it off for a while. In this world of hurry up go go go fast food is just to easy. Than I met someone who was over weight and I started gaining again. I lost all of that and stayed small again until I got hurt at work. Genetically I do believe genetics play a part in our weight. some people can eat all day and weight nothing while others can smell food and gain weight. my grandmother was over weight and my mother struggled with weight all her life. I think that is my destiny too. So why am I obeses.. why is this gonna be a life long think for me.. and how can I over come it... those are the things I ponder each day. I think my low self esteem plays a part in it. My need to clean my plate and genetics all have a key to my weight problems. I have actually been thinking of seeking counciling again to help me through some of these issues.. I have never attended a support group which I think may be a mistake for me.. So there is my story.. any comments would be appreciated.

Holy cow, Carla!!!! I can't even imagine having a childhood like you did ... I'm so sorry you had to go through that! No child should have to grow up that way. I think you turned out pretty dang good!!! My childhood was okay but very lonely. I was a "surprise" to my parents at the age of 45, my Mom certainly wasn't expecting anymore children. They already had 4 other girls so I was very much a surprise! Needless to say, my Mom was way too tired and worn out to play with me so I was alone all the of the time. My other sisters were quite a bit older than me so they were off doing their own thing. I spent a lot of time alone, and never really had any friends, I was VERY shy and introverted. I literally do not ever remember my parents hugging me or telling me "I love you." They weren't bad parents, they just didn't show any affection and I felt very lonely. I was always chubby as a child and I remember my Mom chastising me when I snuck something out of the snack drawer. Both my parents would harp on me about my weight all the time. But then my Mom would give me a candy bar every day when I got home from school. My Dad has always belittled me about my weight, calling me chubby or fatty and comparing me to other girls who were thin. He would bribe me and tell me if I could lose "X" amount of weight, he would buy me something really nice. Needless to say, I never lost enough to get anything! They put me on Slim Fast in high school. And then they paid for me to go to a Diet Center for awhile. My Mom only let me dress in navy or black because she thought it was more sliming. Anyway, by the time I left home and went to college, I was around 220 pounds. Of course I ate everything in sight now that I didn't have anyone around me to pester me about what I was eating and how much. I gained a lot of weight really quickly in college and never lost any of it. I met my husband in college and he's a big guy and likes to eat. So, there wasn't any real motivation for me to lose weight. I think I just always turned to food out of loneliness and to be my friend, companion, and confidant. Neither of my parents had any significant weight problems but all 5 of us girls are overweight. Hmm, go figure! I guess this is really the first time in my life that I'm "coming out of my shell" so to speak. I've never really had the courage to stand up for myself or be outgoing. I've always been afraid to try new things and I used to even hide away inside my home and think of reasons why I didn't need to go out in public. I was just scared and shy and didn't want anyone to look at me. Now I'm finding it easier to do those things and change my life. I don't want to hide away anymore ... I want to live life and not be afraid to try fun things! Thanks, Carla, for posting this ... made me really think about the reasons why I'm overweight and I know that I don't ever want to revert back to what I was a year ago. Deanna

Loneliness is a tough one. As a only child I know that feeling all to well. I'm glad you are coming out of your shell and becoming stronger for yourself. I know you are home a lot by yourself and that has to be tough for you. I know you clean the cabinets and got rid of the junk.. way to go.. what other things do you do now to combat loneliness and that need to eat when you are lonely. I think i eat a lot because of loneliness too. Things I am doing to reduce my ability to snack more at home are. 1. got rid of the junk food in the house. 2. plan my meals so I stay on track better. 3. keep myself busy so I dont have time to think about food as much. 4. I have gotten my children and other half involved in eating better and making better food choices.. 5. I have a picture of myself on the fridge with the saying, "nothing taste as good as thin feels" as well. 6. go to the gym and exercise to make me feel better about myself and give me a little strenght to say no more often.. not sure why that works but I do better when i work out.

here's my story.... my dad found out he was dying, convinced my mother to have another child because he knew he woudn't last too much longer *voila* here's Andi, everyone was thrilled (let's face it, how could they not be thrilled with me) i got my dad for 5 years and then he died in a restaurant, my mother and siblings were devastated as he decided not to tell them he was dying. My mother had to go back to school as she had no real education so i was iwth a sitter ALOT...my nearest sibling is 11 years older, they were going to college when i was starting kindergarten! I fattened up, i thinned out, i met boys, i LIKED boys, i fattened up, boys didnt' like me, I finally thinned out in my 20's. I met and married a nice boy and we're still together today. I wanted a baby, he wanted to wait, I got off the pill on a Sunday and got knocked up that Tuesday! I loved the pregnancy he did not. Two weeks before my due date all action within me stopped, I was carrying a stillborn (ewww) i gave birth to Jonathon Robert on 3/2/94 (he'd be bar mitzvah'd in a few weeks I'm still traumatized) and gradually the people around me wanted me to move on and stop talking about him so i started eating to shut me up... my best friend passed away from cancer at hte age of 34, it'll be three years this June, i'm still traumatized by the loss, but i had to shut up so i kept on eating.....i shut up but i also ballooned up to the incredible weight of 234, which isn't huge unless you realize i'm not even 5'0 tall! So here i am, still slightly (that's a lie it's more then slightly) traumatized by death and wanting to eat to quiet the deeply sad voices in my head that say whoever and whatever i love will be passing away momentarily! So, whatever happens remember not to love me but like me a whole lot and that when March 2nd rolls around i'm going to need you all more then ever, but i'm too independent to tell you that so you'll just have to sort of know. Hugs, ANDI

hey andi.. that is a terrible tradegy in anyones life. i was never able to have a child so I adopted. Death hangs around us for the rest of our life touching each part of our soul. It changes who we are in many ways. I remember when I was 9 and my brother died.. i thought it was Gods fault and blamed him. 4 years later my grandmother (who lived and cared for me as well as protected me from my mother) passed away. I was sure God did not want me to ever love anyone.. it would be my fault. How do we ever get past the death of a loved one.. especially one that was so new and loved. How can we make it better ever.. I dont know. One thing I know is we cant let tradegy guide us because we well loose. Knowing that this is what promoted your eating habits how can you get past this part.. not the tradegy but the eating.. what replacement behavior can you use instead of eating. How about when you are hurting try walking, reading a book.. acknowledging this as your MO for sadness you can face this demon head on and find a way to conquer it. What can you do or do you like to do that you can replace eating for. find something that makes you happy and fills that enter need for comfort other than food.. can u give examples of things you enjoy doing other than eating.. I think you would be a great comedian.. maybe you could write for someone or just do stand up yourself. You have a great mind, great insite and a way about you that makes me want to smile.. I always look forward to your post. I dont worry about loving people anymore.. thats not why my loved ones died.. I think you know that too. Dont be affraid to love, share and be loved.. its a great thing.. and yes I love u cause you are just an awesome person... big hug Carla

Wow...just shows us that it's not about the food. I don't have a real story...family history of obesity so I think mine is more genetic. Good childhood but food was always the way of rewarding us. So, it was a learned behavoir that I still find myself using today. Whenever I need to celebrate or reward myself my first thought is to go out to eat or prepare a feast... Thanks ladies for sharing...you both are very strong, determined and inspirational. Trish

I think many times it is genetic but in a family where obsesity exist there are many environmental factors. More snacks and foods to eat and no one to tell you the over eating is bad. It's kind of acceptable to eat that way. Our parents are our role models and we do what we see. I think many times when you find a obsese person you will usually find a family of obese people.. Behavior is learned. So how do we change that behavior to one that is more acceptable.. that is the next question to you. What are u doing different to change your behavior and make sure you are gonna be successful in your weight loss? what other ways can u celebrate besides going to get that friend called food? Will power is a tough one for me.. like those pretzels. I actually rationalize why I should be able to have them. convience myself its ok.. The other thing I do is wait til my partner dozes off on the couch and than go get the pretzels like what I am doing is hurting her. I sat back the other day and thought about that.. why do i do that.. i am only hurting myself. I need to be accountable for what I do.. no worry about others. it gets so hard sometimes I know.

Your right...what do we do to change these behavoirs? My biggest fear is that I will just allow a repeat of the bad habits that were present in my childhood. With that, I have one son that is very thin and one son that is overweight. I struggle with how to help him...I have since this surgery focused on preparing healthy meals, talking about better food choices, making sure there are healthy snacks in the house. I want to instill in him these better choices without making him feel bad about his size. When I look at him, his habits, his eating pattern and his less than enthusiatic attitude toward exercise I see myself and that's scary. So, part of the journey is for myself but also to set a good example and teach my kids good habits. It's tough cause those bad habits are already present to some extent but with time and example I have to believe it will work. As far as how to avoid that friend called food...it's a battle I struggle with everyday. For me weighing myself everyday, tracking my calories burned with a heart rate monitor, thinking about good food choices and just thinking about it all the time...I literally think about this process all the time and I think if I stopped I would allow myself to go off track. Sure, I slip but I will never fall.

that is such a great attitude to have.. I obsess about what I am doing as well and i am a total scale ***** so I know the feeling.. i feel like if i stop i will fail to.. there has to be some day that this is not the most important thing in our life.. someday we can feel confident that we can do this without constant worry. I dont know if that day will ever come.. dont you find it exhausting to think about this in everything you do.. i know right now.. we got to.. get the water in.. dont over fill the pouch... no sugar or you'll dump.. but is there a day this will just be a natural thing that we can go to a restuarant and just order the right thing off the menu without having to have this brain battle of oh.. i had wls.. what do i do.. what can i have... do you feel the same way.